• Member Since 13th May, 2014
  • offline last seen May 4th, 2023

levityler101


I love gaming and reading and will try anything new

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Source

Going through awful writer's block right now but I will get back to this story eventually.

Button and Sweetie are going on their first date. What could go wrong? EVERYTHING. Now they need help from a famous time traveller and his wall eyed friend. Their lives are about to change; but why do they have to change so much?

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 9 )

Short but intresting

I think to better discern who is talking you should us different text types, rather that would be my suggestion if the default for FiM fiction would allow you to do that.

4709565 yeah but I didn't really want to clutter the story with unneeded text. I tried my hardest to tell who was talking by using other characters but that is sometimes even worse

Hmm..... Now, with this chapter is interesting, but I feel that the cliff-hanger isn't necessary because we already know they will meet up. Or will they be interupted? Did I solve a piece of the next chapter? You are doing great so far, but I also recommend making all the chapters at least 500 words, so there is some development. I am not seeing much. Maybe this advice will get you a lot more likes! Keep on going!

4749765 yeah but i couldn't figure out how to end the chapter so that was the only way i could think of So I went with what I knew

I don't know. Maybe You did discover something

There will be a lot more development soon

I have to say. It's pretty amazing that you have an exact 1000 word count.

4773070 I think that was pure luck to my count it was only 990 words long but I guess I miscounted

Pretty good so far. I imagined it in my head!!

Pretty good. Now, I need another chapter!!

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