Dash and The Spider

by AkumaNoNeko

Rainbow's Secret

Fluttershy trotted through the streets of Ponyville, towards the outskirts of town, where Rainbow Dash's cloud house was. She was a little nervous about trying to talk to Rainbow about how she had acted. The yellow Pegasus mare was also confused, she had known Rainbow Dash since they were just fillies, and she never in their time together had she seen Rainbow act so strange.

Fluttershy arrived at the bottom, below Rainbow's home. "Well," she sighed, "here goes nothing." And she flapped her wings, rising into the air, up to the cloud. She reached the home in a few minutes, standing at the door, feeling quite nervous. The mare folded her wings into their postion by her sides, and after a moment of contemplating what she would say to the cyan Pegasus, knocked her hoof on the door.

She waited a few moments, there was no answer.

Feeling a bit more nervous, she timidly knocked again.
This time, the door slowly opened a little, the blue Pegasus peeked out.

"Oh.. Uh, hiya Fluttershy," piped up Rainbow, seeming still nervous and jumpy, "whatcha need?"

"Hello Rainbow," Fluttershy said softly, giving a small smile, "Can I come in?"

"Uh.. Sure.." Rainbow Dash squeaked, "say, do you have that.. Uh, spider, with you?"

"No, I left Webster with the girls at Sugar Cube Corner.." The yellow mare told the fast flying Pegasus, "Why do you ask?"

"Oh! Uh, no reason really, I was just wondering where the little guy was," she gave an awkward smile, opening the door a bit more and stepped aside to allow Fluttershy to come in.

Fluttershy walked into the mare's home, looking around a bit and sitting down on a plush blue and white loveseat. Rainbow Dash soon joined her, sitting aross from her on a matching chair on the other side of a little white painted wood coffee table.

"So why'd you run out on us earlier when I showed up with Webster?" Fluttershy said, looking at the blue mare, wide-eyed.

"Oh, I.. Uh, um..." Rainbow stuttered, looking nervous and shocked, "I um..."

"You're afraid of spiders, aren't you, Rainbow?" Fluttershy said with a small, but solemn smile.

The cyan Pegasus mare sighed defeatedly.

"You got me, Flutters" she said frowning sadly.

Comments

[Shamrock95]

Dude, you didn't need to create three separate chapters for a fic that's barely a thousand words long.

It was a nice afternoon in Ponyville and Dash, Pinkie, Applejack, Rarity, and Twilight was at Sugarcube Cafe.

*were

She's only 5 minutes late

Always spell out numbers unless it's a number higher than one hundred.

"Sorry I'm late everypony.." Fluttershy said happily, as she walked into the cafe."It's all cool Flutters," Dash called. "So what is it you wanted to show us?"

You need to start a new paragraph whenever another character speaks.

"But I wanna know what she got!!!"

One exclamation mark will suffice. This is a fanfic, not a teenage girl's Tumblr.

The look on everyponies face is brilliant.

*was

He is very kind and is actually very getting rid of more harmful insects.

...Huh?

"...I gotta dash see ya!!" I called, electric flying out the door and away.

Uuuuugh, perspective shift.

Pretty sloppily written, honestly, but it's nothing a good editor can't sort out.

[AkumaNoNeko]

7165162 thank you got point out a few things, I wrote the first two chapters a long time ago so I figured there would be some mistakes