Soarin struggles when his best friend dies. He wonders what he could have done
to save her.
(This is my first story so i hope you like it.)
Chapters (1)
starrynights
Joined 30th Oct, 2013 ·
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Sad...
But, work on the grammar
Wow… I love it in a depressing way
I recommend going back threw and correcting some typo's. I also don't exactly what the cloud did but otherwise very good
Wow! I love this story! It's really depressing but I still love this!
I'm sorry for you family and friends
This story actually made me cry
that means it was an affective sad story! This is defiantly staying in my faves!
4720829 it electrocuted her
4721817 oh, I thought that was it but I couldn't be sure...
This story was amazing!
It was so sad but so awesome at the same time. It would have moved me to tears if my eyes weren't so dry for some reason. 
Bravo.
this is the sadest dong in the world cuz its a sad sad song
4721810 Thank you.I was really scared to put it on because i was afraid of getting bad comments.
so thanks really means a lot!
Wow
THIS
IS
JUST
WOW
Sad but wow
4793824 Thanks. Means alot
Awe sad story very sad keep it up
Warning: I'll be blunt here. However, I will avoid insults, since I just want to help you.
Okay, let me get this out of the way: the idea of Soarin losing someone close to him to death isn't a bad one, and it seems like this story could've been a decent heart tugger. However, there are two main problems that really hold it back. I'll start with grammar, since it's the easiest one to correct. The grammar is, for lack of a better word, hideous. Seriously, I think the grammar is wrong more often then it is right here! However, this is still relatively easy to fix, considering there are entire groups dedicated to editing. Just ask someone there for help. The other problem is the pacing. Everything moves way too fast, and by the time I started to get invested, the story was over. I'd recommend going a little slower, describing things a bit better (milking the despair, if you will.). Hope this helps. Cheers
5523585 your right at the time I was horrible at grammar at the time and I was rushing. And be live me it is a story from the heart. Just so you know I've had a lot of struggles with my life heck I've been hospitalized for my actions. Thank you for that note I will be sure to go slower and get an editor next time.
Love,
Starry
wow i didn't notice but its been a year since i published this story!
My heart maybe made out of steel but this story ALMOST made me cry.
I applaud you
Great job
Awwwwww that was soooo sad
RAINBIW DIED WHAAAAAA!!!!! *sobs like crazy and finishes7 boxes and counting* but i liked soooo much this story just earned a fave 
I know this sounds absolutely insensitive, but if Soarin never kissed Dash she could still could maybe be alive because the bad stuff only happened when they were kissing.
I don't usually cry to sad stories or movies but that was so sad and very affective
It was really well thought of but maybe edit on some grammer
I loved it
Good job. This story made me tear up.
WHY DID RAINBOW HAVE TO die?!!!