Sweet Little Patchwork Girlfriend

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Comments ( 6 )

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Krokorokok

Krokorokok #1 · Jul 6th, 2014 · · · She's Always Waiting for Me ·

Awww....That's really cute.

In a weird way...Anyways, cool story brah!

Blue Dragon

Blue Dragon #2 · Jul 6th, 2014 · · · She's Always Waiting for Me ·

I normally don't read stories with the gore tag or even the mature one, but this story intrigued me. So with that in mind I bypassed my initial hesitance and decided to give it a try. And wow, this story was pretty well-written! I enjoyed reading it, though it was short and not much happened in it. It was a quick look in the life of a grave-digger with a girlfriend I would assume he stitched together over time. The way he would go about his work and return home, undisturbed by what he had done, and also how he would still love his "little patchwork girlfriend" despite everything. Their little interactions in the story were a mix of cute, and calm. They seem to be at peace with one another, and I especially liked the tidbit of how they would dance together.

Overall, this was a nice one-shot I can definitely appreciate. It's not what I dabble in as a writer and usually not the material I would read, but I think I would recommend this story. It made me think a little and made me wonder about the details not included of what's going on in this pony's life, and that's always a good thing to do to a reader.

There were a few typos I found while reading, one of which being this:

I occasionally glace back

I believe you meant "glance". In addition to that, it would make a better impression for possible readers if you would capitalize your chapter title as well. But there wasn't anything glaring throughout this work, it was well-written and there was definitely thought put into it. Your grammar is very good, especially your dialogue. The most common grammatical mistakes I've seen in stories, I couldn't find here. And the tone of the piece really accentuates the dark aspect of it, and made it an enjoyable read.

You certainly have my thumbs-up, positive critique, and a favorite from me. Lovely job, I would definitely read this again.

Scarlett Haze

Scarlett Haze #3 · Jul 6th, 2014 · · · She's Always Waiting for Me ·

4651187 Thanks! I'll be sure to fix that minor bug. FUN FACT - I actually wrote this little piece in at least an hour! If the reaction to something this small is so... great. I wouldn't mind perhaps expanding further into the idea.

The Infinity Doctor