Pinkie Pie always throws a party for new faces in Ponyville, whether it be baby, old, insane, or timid. So how is she going to react when she sees her own face covered in blood and throwing a party for her? However the reaction, we can all agree that this will not end well for anypony...
A one shot piece based on a song made by one of my best friends, you can have a listen at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPKNrf_Ka7U&feature=plcp
Page generated in 0.079 seconds
Total duration
1,028 users online
2,112,867 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Hoo! This was harsh. Please criticize because I fear that I've somehow failed here, and trying to do editorial checks at 10 PM is not a good thing.
909382
This got really confusing, really fast. I have a headache now, for real, I actually do. Other than that, it was...interesting? I'm still brain-dead from thinking about this.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png
SPOILER ALERT
Dunno what was so confusing about it. Dark Pinkie finds herself in Pinkie's world, invites disaster, Pinkie Pie kicks her ass and turns her good. ¯\(°_o)/¯
Good story, quick fix! Very good writing skills, I do approve. I like the ending too, turning dark pinkie into surprise. A little cliche, but really it works. Thumbs up on this one.
911916
Please let me know what made it confusing, NO REALLY. I need as much criticism as I can in order to kinda better myself in regards for writing.
911980
The third section was what I found to be befuddling. I had to read it over a few times, because I had no clue which Pinkie I was.
912116 BLAM! Fix'd (Oh god the pun)
I thought this was pretty good. Evil Pinkie's turn to the light side was sort of quick though. Also I liked the
vs. 
part but it just seemed out of character for Pinkie to beat the crap out somepony. Although I'm sure that if someone threatened to kill me and my friends painfully I'd rage too.
But overall good job!
912553You know,you could've put Pinkamina.
913418 FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF I keep messing that up, only because I see Pinkamina and I read Pinkamania, thanks for catching that. (Will hate self later)
913435Aww you don't need to hate yourself.
You just screwed up!
Just kidding!
Heh,heh,
okay
I'll
shut
up
now
..
.
913447 This is why I love this fandom so much.
913455Why is that ?
913463 Because I don't get hateful comments, and when I admit I'm at fault and get a response that isn't mean about it, it makes me all gooey on the inside. Kind of like standing out in the sun too long minus the sunburn that comes afterwards.
913481Oh.Oki Doki Loki !
Have a super-duper-awsome-rificly-amazing-umm....cool,ummm......Pancakes day?!Le sigh I ran out of words.
Oh well!!
I loved the ending. Nice story
No evildoer is a match for the good loveableness that is Pinkie Pie. Not even herself.
Surprise! She's my favorite G1 pony!
This was actually a cool idea. Worth the time spent reading it at least. A bit confusing on some parts when there is an action with a 'she' as the subject when there are two pinkies.
Also, I really liked the part where good Pinkie was filling with hate and sadistic anger. I was like:
OH SHIT! SHE'S GOING TO KILL EVIL PINKIE BUT THEN BECOME EVIL PINKIE! IT'S SO SICKLY IRONIC!..... but it didn't happen. I guess you wanted a happy ending.
Not terribly bad though. At worst I'm sure this helped you improve your writing.
949081 Yeah, I started hating myself for the happy ending after I finished it. And as for this review, I'm appreciative of it. If there's a better writer out there that wants to make this idea the dark and foreboding story that it really was meant to be, I'd be appreciative. As for the ending itself, I may actually WANT to make an alternate ending, with that dark twist. I'm not necessarily the 'evil' writer, but if I can get practice out of it, then perhaps I'll have more doors opening my way.
949102
Damn that was quick! I just posted the comment like a minute ago.
Anyways about the alternate ending, hellz yeah dude, go for it. Even if it's just for the purpose of improving yourself go for it. I, myself am working to improve my writing right now too, and if I've been learning anything its that there's no substitute for experience, even if it's just a little experiment.
My first fic didn't go too far on this site, and it wasn't really written as good as it could have been, but I learned SO MUCH I can't possibly be disappointed.
Keep on keepin' on.
949141 I was busy writing on the next chapter of another story of mine, so I keep an eye out for anything that shouts out 'new notification' on here, I at least try to be prompt with my guests
No words can describe what I just read.
949385 No, I think those words are just fine
949396 XD
949396 good Idea.
Decent idea.
Written... messy though.
960688 It someone wants to take this idea in the right direction, I can wait. Maybe if I feel the need, a rewrite or better on my end will come, but for now, I'm just letting this be.
Interesting, at first I thought that it was going to be a bad ending, and hell happening (CUPCAKES! MOTHER FUCKING CUPCAKES, THAT WOULD MAKE THAT ENDING IT'S PREQUEL!!!!!), but it wasn't. I'm still not sure I want to read the second ending though, should I?
3916549 Technically, that IS the bad ending, so you'd be getting that ending you were expecting.
3916556 And I'm glad you decided to do that in another chapter, because I hate Cupcakes, even though I never read it, it just sends chills up my spine. Oh what the hell, why not *reads it* Interesting, not fully insane, but starting * Thinks of possible addition* *chuckle* Do you mind if I PM you an idea I would like to talk to you about?
3916584 Why not? But don't expect me to do anything with said idea.
3916742 Glad to see both endings. One that makes a loop with Cupcakes and another fanfic I read that is set 1 year from said events. Good story
I've only got one critizim but it's a big one.
The pacing was AWFUL
The whole thing felt rushed exept maybe the first part of the opening and the end letter.
I don't mean to seem like an a** but I had to read it like five times just to understand what was going on.
It's really something you need to work on but as far as the grammar and everything it was good.
6720425
No, you're entitled to your opinion. If you read my first comment I make note that I felt like I did something wrong and many others have had that same complaint.
Keep in mind that this was a fic I did nearly 3 years ago and was roughly around the same time I had just started being a member of the site.