Writing graduate who loves cartoon horses and all manner of silly things. Occasionally writes serious stories. A divine Swedish woman drew this avatar.
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The powers entrusted to me by the Princesses are not enough. I can't stop him. Now I'm hearing a voice in my head—a voice that promises to help me defeat Tirek. I must be going crazy.
Written for the Twyrant's Kingdom Competition.
Edited by Horse Voice.
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Freakin AWESOME!!!! This is a perfect example of why you're one of my favorite authors on this site.
There is nothing but despair now... Such sweet, beautiful despair...
this is freakin perfect!!
So Much Despair, So much destruction, more i Need MOAR!!!!!
you willing to make a sequel to this
This story is pretty interesting, but it does feel a little bare. The descriptions are fantastic, but they don't really add anything to the story beyond looking pretty. I'm finding it rather difficult to really identify with Twilight's crisis--the emotion behind how helpless she must feel, and how desperate she is for another solution. I think the story would have been more successful by focusing not on Twilight thinking that she's gone mad, but on Twilight being so terrified of the consequences of either of her possible choices that she accepts Nightmare's proposal willingly, as the seemingly best possible alternative.
The story also feels very methodical: Twilight hears a voice offering salvation. Twilight thinks she's going insane. Twilight reasons that she has no other choice. Twilight gives in--struggling a bit--until she succeeds. Twilight realizes that something's wrong, and that its too late. Twilight figures out that the voice is Nightmare. Twilight protests, but can only watch on the sidelines. Twilight's friends die. Twilight is sorry. I wouldn't call it cliche, but I can't praise it for originality.
I think the story is very competently written, as expected, but it's very vanilla in my opinion.
4553005
A good analysis. I agree that it was a bit vanilla but he is writing a lot between school, an actual book, and ponies. It's also a problem with any contest. A lot of people create very vanilla stories. Sometimes the prompt resonates more with some people than others.
I find it difficult to believe that this did not set off warning bells inside Twilight's mind. She's stressed, and not thinking properly. That's true. However, the entity's hint is far from vague. Also, it's very rare that those who ask you to channel your hatred are up to anything good.
The buildup to the name was kind of a disappointment guess I picked the wrong story to read bro D:
5042625
Yeah, Feather, Shipfic, or The Barn are better examples of my writing that aren't pornographic (where I'm basically a completely different author). This was a very experimental piece I wrote.
5042625 only 14 of 67 poeople seem to agree with you though.
What a dark tale. It's good though.
Damn, I feel like this needs some sort of sequel. It's like a great puzzle with half the board missing.
I can't remember reading this before, my very bad. So, Twilight went to the dark side and is a Sith Lord now, sorta? This is how grim-darks really should be, all Hitchcockian psychodrama, not flocks of birds with chainsaws and goalie masks...