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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Don't you think it makes no sense for Zecora to willingly work for him, given what we've seen of her in tbe show? This comes out of nowhere.
Yes! New Chapter!
What an idiot...
And Newenglandee...
5610085 It makes sense, if you'd knew the story behind it. Let's just say the word: Ancestors, roll our eyes and leave it be.
I saw that secondary characters line about Celestia and Luna. Pointing out the flaws in your tale doesn't make them go away.
5610541
It's massively OOC when compared to how she is in the show. How about you drop the pretension and speak plainly?
5610776 Easy. If you change some1's past, you change how they act. Sometimes a very small part, sometimes a huge part.
And I go ahead and guess either the other Overlord or the minions have changed her past, drastly.
5611130
Which means our protagonist is now guilty of kidnapping, mind control, brainwashing and murder. And he sees no problem with this...because why?
Because here is the big problem. The entire idea behind the whole "magical thing makes them into this overlord" stuff TAKES A BASEBALL BAT to free will. It basically says these people have no responsibility and no will or identity of their own. They should know what they're doing is wrong...but never question it. That destroys the concept of free will when your protagonist literally is no longer thinking for himself. When they turn into just a tool to an end...that's a problem.
Oh you chose the best guy to do a crossover with..
5611130 Yes, her history is altered somewhat.
5610772 Wade said it, not Don meaning I didn't write it. Besides, family death doesn't exactly leave a good outlook on the murderer.
5611148 Look, at this point I'm just gonna be flat about this. Don't like it, don't read it. I'm going to write the story the way I imagine it and if that doesn't make sense to you than tough nuts. Your critiques are appreciated but don't assume you know all the in's and out's of the story just by what is written.
5611680
That is a weak argument. You shouldn't silence criticism by telling people to shut up just because you don't like what they have to say. You think a movie studio could get Ebert to shut up if he had something unpleasant to say about their film?
You should take sound critique and advice into account. Not essentially tell people to fuck off if they do not like something
5611821 When did I ever say any of that? I told you simply that your criticisms were noted but however they were not valid, as facts of the story that will be revealed later fix these issues you seem to have. Don't act like I'm sitting here shooting down every negative thing someone says about my stories. I'm rather open to criticism but you have made several paragraphs worth of it over several chapters, and yet you continue to follow the story despite you having so many problems with it.
So, I just read the whole thing.
From the moment the crossovers appeared the general quality of the story dropped. They seem out of place as hell. Frankly things stopped making sense the moment this Jason guy appeared.
Following. For now...
5611830
I continue to read in the hopes you will ADDRESS these criticisms. Since it's been about 20 chapters now and the story is over 100,000 words long. I keep reading to see you genuinely having things come to a head. To fix plot holes I've seen.
5611338
Why...thank you~
5613601 I just realized I never favorite your story and I feel silly.
I believe you meant, he.
Hey, I remember this crossover from the shapeshifting moron story.