“ID?”
“Eye-what now?”
The guard rolled his eyes. “ID. You know, the card that tells us who you are?” He tapped his hoof on the ground impatiently, eyeing the mare and the stallion in front of him.
Carl and Stan just looked at each other, their disguised pony faces had signs of worry. “What do you mean?” Carl said in the most high pitched voice possible. “My names Carly and this is my….coltfriend Stanley.” He wrapped an arm around ‘Stanley’s’ neck and smiled.
The guard shook his head. “That’s not enough, I need a photo with info. For all we know,” He pointed at Stan. “this stallion could be a changeling.”
“Nice rhymes.” Carl said.
Stan glared at him. “And just what is wrong with being a cha-”
Carl put his other hoof in Stan’s mouth. “Um..What he meant to say was that we...left it on the train, yes, be right back.” Without another word, Carl dragged Stan into the train cart, leaving the guard to sit there and continue waiting.
As soon as he slammed the door shut, Stan spit Carl’s hoof out of his mouth and turned to him. “Why didn’t you tell me they need ID now?”
Carl readjusted his long mane and said. “You didn’t ask.”
Stan yanked on Carl's hair in anger, making him yelp in pain “That information would have been useful!”
Carl yanked his fake hair away from his grip. “OW! Hey, fake or not, hair still hurts when you pull it ya know.”
Stan smiled. “Well, if you picked scissors instead of rock, then maybe you wouldn’t be a mare right now.”
Carl rolled his eyes. “Well how was I supposed to know you would pick paper. Who picks that?"
“You weren’t Now, how do we get out of this?”
“Hey, don’t look at me, you’re the stealthy one, you think of something.”
Stan tapped his chin. This wasn’t something he dealt with before, admittedly he has only been out of the cave three times, not including this or the attack, so he wasn’t sure how to handle this. While he thought of something, Carl glanced outside, making his eyes go wide with fear. “Uh, Stan?”
“Shush,” Stan closed his eyes. “I’m still thinking.”
“Well, could you think faster.” Carl started backing away from the window.
“A plan wasn’t made in minutes, Carl.”
“Well, I don’t think we have minutes, Stan.”
Stan opened his eyes and looked at him. “Why?” Carl motioned Stan to come closer and look outside the window. As he did, he put on the same expression Carl had.
“Looks like the guard is a little bit suspicious about us.”
Stan took his eyes off of the dozens of guards standing outside of the train and looked at Carl in annoyance. “You think?”
They backed away from the window and sat next to the door. “Welp,” Carl shrugged. “I knew this was gonna happen sooner or later, should we go quietly or fight for it? I prefer going quietly, at least the princess won't-”
Stan slapped Carl across the face. “If you mention her one more time...fight...Wait a minute, I have an idea. Carl quick, disguise as me.”
Carl rubbed his face. “Why?”
“Just do it! I have a plan.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The guard continued to tap his hoof impatiently. “How long does it take a pair of changelings to realize they're trapped.”
One of them chuckled. “One’s that try to think of something. Trust me captain, I’m sure any minute now they’ll be walking out nonchalantly and saying how they left it at ho-”
Suddenly, the door burst open, making all the guards jump into attention. A stallion landed on the ground in agony.
Before the guards could react, another stallion who looked just like the one on the ground walked outside and said. “I should've know it was you!”
The pony on the ground got up. “Me? For it is surely you who is the fake one.” He turned to the guards and grabbed one of them by the neck. “Guards, arrest this pony impostor, he was gonna tie me up and take my ID.”
“Nay! Take him, for he was about to get the jump on me and make a run for it.” Both the ponies started circling one another, leaving the guards to look at the scene in astonishment.
“Oh, surely you jest changeling, you must understand that a pony has his ID on him at all times, unlike you who just sits around and feeds on love."
“NO! For it is you who does...that…” The stallion looked around in worry. “F-for you most likely sit in a cave and..and...feast off the living.”
“You are filled with lies, changeling, I am one-hundred percent pony, these lies are a shame to me, for that!” The stallion turned around and took hold of a spear one of the guards were holding. “I challenge you to...The death!”
The guards and other ponies who were starting to crowd around them gasped, all of them were unable to understand the situation. The other pony looked around and rolled his eyes.
“So be it impostor me,” He said. “for your death shall be one long remembered.” He made his way to another guard and reached for his weapon. “For you will die by the hooves of this!” He pulled out the guard’s dagger and looked at it in surprised. he nervously laughed. “Um...not that one...This one!” He gave the dagger back and pulled out his sword.
The guard put his dagger away and walked up to the impostor with a sword. “Will the both of you calm down, let us handle-” Before he could get another word out, the pony shoved him out of the way and lunged toward his double, the one with the spear dodged and barreled out of the group of guards. Crashing into a nearby cart of fruit. He got back up and held his sword into the air.
“Is that all ya got, impostor!” He yelled while he started backing away.
The one with the spear moved his way out of the crowd of guards and ponies and walked to his double. “You have yet to see the fullest extent of my power bug.” He lunged again, this time making contact with his doppelganger's sword, causing both of them to land on the ground.
“You really think this will work?” The one on top whispered while their weapons grinded against one another.
“Trust me,” Stan said, making sure he didn’t put too much strength in his sword. “This will work, just make sure we don’t attract too much attention, now…” He flung Stan off of him and got back up on his hooves. “May you burn in Tartarus for your crimes of espionage, you insect.”
Carl smiled and stood back up “Not if I burn you first you, traitor!” They then lunged at one another, making metal clash and ponies stare in amazement, and making sure to bring the fight toward the castle before they end it.
I don't think I will ever not get a kick out of seeing this story's image every time it gets featured.
"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR"
"OHDEARCHRYSALISNO"
Ah, the Miguel and Tulio maneuver
NAY! To the pain!!!
But that's pretty funny.
Great chapter, actually had me laughing out loud. Can't wait for the next one.
This will end with a girly scream.
Best-worst-plan-ever?
[youtube=d2TP6DZpmfA]
Dude.
Proofread.
4459822
I'm going to have to disagree with the idea that having an editor is a cop out, or any other generalized statement of 'bad thing'. Having a different perspective take a look at your story can be immensely helpful for finding logical fallacies, plot holes, noticing someone acting ooc, etc. What the author writes might not match up with what they have in their head, but they expect it to because they already have that idea of what it should be, and that preexisting bias makes it very easy to simply not notice a problem. An editor won't have that idea of what the chapter should be already in their heads while reading it over.
Of course, many so-called amateur editors act more like proofreaders than editors. But a good editor is an invaluable source of constructive criticism and creative ideas, not just someone to spell and punctuate things properly for you so you can be lazy.
4480886 Darn! You beat me to it!
4481074
Yeah. Huzzah for editors.
We're people too.
Changelings; Tru masters of disguise.
Okay, now this story has my attention. You're still in dire need of an editor, though.
I did like it... But I kinda want to see more to this chapter...
I lol'd.
yep Eldorado :D haha gj
Not sure if best plan or worst plan...
4481601 both
4481625 sounds about right
Oh my god, I love you for referencing one of my all time loved films.
Such mediocrity!
Let your sword do the talking!
Now stand aside, worthy adversary!
4481091 Luna secretstallion beat us both to the reference. =3
4480842 like... this?
or.. this?
4483227 Probably both but damn Home alone is so much the shit I gotta go with that one.
So... Thou wishes to engage in fisticuffs? Then have at me brethren!
4481773
4482625
4483505
4480800
I can't help but read these in Luna's voice for some reason.
Not sure why...
Other than that, I'm starting to like reading these comments.
It gives me that non-consensual fuzzy feeling in the utter,
feels creepy and good at the same time.
4483699 I honestly can see Luna doing a good Westley now.
You know what I always say (nowadays anyway): When in doubt HAM IT UP!
That El Dorado reference.
4481074 I agree completely. True editors tell the writer what they need to hear, not what they want to hear.
That was fun. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
4481074
It's so true!!
*LE GARSP* DIDST HE JUST CHALLENGE HIM TO THE...the....DEATH?!
What cop would hand his weapon over like that!? XD
Great chapter by the way
4481448
-What? You gave me loaded dice?
-He gave me loaded dice!
-Guard, arrest him!
-You dare to impugn my honor?
-He was the one who was cheating!
-Arrest him! He tricked these sailors and took their money!
-Oh, now, I'm the thief?
-Yes.
-Take a look in the mirror, pal!
-Oh, you better give them that money back, or I'll-
-En garde!
-En garde, yourself.
-I will give you the honor of a quick and painless death.
-But not with that. Ha! I prefer to fight fairly. Aha!
-Well, any last words?
-I will cut you to ribbons,
-fool!
-Such mediocrity.
-Let your sword do the talking.
-I will. It will be loquacious to a fault!
-Ha! Take that!
-You... mincing, fencing, twit.
-Ah, you fight like my sister.
I fought your sister. That's a compliment.
-Braggart!
-Heathen!
- Kill him!
-Not the face. Not the face.
-Ladies and gentlemen, we've decided it's a draw.
-Thank you all for coming.
-You've been great. See you soon. -Adios!
Missing word.
"feeds"
To the death? No, to the pain!
Why is no one fixing all the errors...
"Stan yanked on his hair and anger,"
"pair of changelings to realize their trapped."... really? Their trapped? You should be ashamed of yourself.
"I should've know it was you!"
needs end " marks.
______________________________
ended
____________________
Another nice chapter.
El Dorado! The magnificent! And Golden! 1000 years ago! El Dorado! Eldorado! El Doraaaa (NO!)
4620887 So glad other people got that too.
El Dorado?
4620887
Haha, yep, El Dorado
4480886 Eeeyup.
4480792
You'd be surprised how often that works.
4872762 ...Yes. Now. this story has my Want, All of it.
4480886 you know, the chase scene with the bull is a direct reference to the Bull Races in Spain that are held as a Holiday...
4481288
He had your curiosity, now he has your attention.
[youtube=Yyfdcoocex8]
(Yes I know, I'm late to the party.)