Friendship is Revolution

by ultiville

June 18, Entry 1 - Destiny

After everything I'd read, I couldn't sleep at all. It's in the early hours now, and I'm writing by hornlight, lying on the couch, so I don't disturb RD. Well, any more than I already have.

She was on an evening shift today, and didn't get home until after midnight. I pretended to be asleep, both so she wouldn't feel bad about going right to bed, and because I still didn't really know what to say about what I'd read.

Eventually I got up to use the bathroom, and ran into her on the way. (I need to remember to tell the girls about earth bathrooms, they'll get a hay of a laugh.) She was dressed for bed, which I'd never seen before, wearing a small shirt and some kind of lower garment I didn't really recognize, but that left the side of her flank uncovered. (*Note to self: look up the correct terms for parts of the human body, and those weird clothes they wear under other clothes.)

I guess I'd never really thought about whether humans had cutie marks before. I was only a human for a few days, after all, and since I didn't have anywhere to live outside the school, I never really got a chance to take a close look at the parts of me my clothing covered. Even I wasn't going to check myself out in a gym shower. I think since all the human versions of my friends were so similar, I sort of assumed they had them too. Now I'm wondering if they did in that world, and just don't here?

RD certainly doesn't, and she said other humans don't either. Not so strange, I guess, since nonponies don't on Equestria either. But I think maybe it explains some things, at least a little. It must be so strange, having no guidance in your life like that, no innate feeling that you fit into some larger plan. I told her that, but she just looked at me like I was crazy, and said it sounded like we weren't really "free" in the way she, and most of this country, value.

I guess I don't understand quite what that means. I asked her if she didn't feel that police work was her special talent, that it was something she needed to do. She said no! She felt like she could leave it, and likely will someday. Also, she said a lot of humans never really find anything like a special talent at all - they just do a job they can find, so they can earn the money to live, and try to find some joy in the time they aren't working, or in what their job lets them buy. Or in their friends.

I can understand the last one at least, but still, the whole thing feels so sad to me. I'd be lost without my cutie mark. I remember how messed up everypony else was when I accidentally switched them, and they didn't even lose them, they just had the wrong ones! Or how listless they were when Tirek took them, ugh. I know RD thinks it's somehow better not to have one, to have to find your destiny yourself, but we find ours; we just know for sure when we have.

Her way doesn't sound free to me, it just sounds depressing. I wonder if those great monsters from her history felt the same way, if some destiny would have saved them. Would Adolf Hitler have gotten a panzer as a cutie mark, or a paintbrush? Or something else entirely?

Anyway, she was too tired to talk about it, and seemed upset at what I thought, so she went right back to bed. I guess I should try to do that, too. Maybe we'll hear back from Alanna tomorrow with some longer-term plan.

Comments

[michaelb958]

Yow, that's heavy stuff. Also, my new favourite makes-sense-in-context phrase is "Adolf Hitler's cutie mark".

So far, I like this story. Very good characterisation of Twilight, especially her observations on our world. If it keeps going the same way it's definitely getting a star from me.