TheCamel
Joined 16th Jan, 2013 ·
Offline
Featured In20
Clopfics11,546 stories ·15,814 members
Slice of Life8,152 stories ·1,460 members
- Uncommon Shipping Pairs2,099 stories ·1,269 members
Completed Story Compendium21,045 stories ·1,701 members
Rape2,197 stories ·3,946 members
Straight Shipping6,611 stories ·2,892 members
Everypony is the Best Pony6,491 stories ·1,050 members
Horny Pony Porn14,028 stories ·3,134 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.143 seconds
Total duration
673 users online
1,005,912 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Eh, feels a bit OoC for Dash. I feel like she would beat the tar out of him for what he did and how he treated her. We've seen time and again how her pride has massive sway over her actions, and that she's denied herself her dreams to do what is right. I get that you want to have some dark sex things happen, but making it Rainbow Dash just kills it. If you changed it to one of the other mares, then it's be fine. But as it stands, it's just mean-spirited and unbelievable. You make Rainbow behave in ways that we can logically assume she wouldn't for the sake of the plot. That's not good story telling.
So, yeah, downvote. Decently written, but character trumps nearly everything. If you're gonna write a clop with Rainbow Dash, make it Rainbow Dash, not "Random Polychromatic-Maned Pegasus."
Sorry.
4419462
First: No need to be sorry. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions (especially when it comes to clop-fics about fictional magical ponies). Also, this type of criticism is helpful. You didn't leave it at 'OMG i hated this downvote u suck'. So thank you for that.
Second: Yes, we have seen RD's immense loyalty and her level of pride. However, that's usually when her friends are around to either help guide her or to make it abundantly clear what the right/wrong thing is to do. However, the few times we've seen her alone she's been quite vulnerable. ie; the best young flyers competition, we see her self confidence crash faster than a brick tossed out of an airplane. It is clearly demonstrated that when things overwhelm her, she panics and may not think clearly.
Also, the events of this story only affect her, not any of her friends. She's in the Wonderbolts, and a scandal like this is sure to ruin her reputation and self image. It's pretty easy to see that her public image is very, very important to her, so it's likely that she'd do whatever it takes to protect that image she has built up for herself. Sure, she could kick the crap out of Thunderlane, but that would be sure to raise questions and the truth would be revealed.
I'm not trying to convince you to change your downvote/opinion, just hoping it helps show my train of thought while writing this.
4419462
Also, I may have to steal the term "Random Polychromatic-Maned Pegasus" for a few things...
4419506
Wow. Sorry, it's just that most people get more hostile when you criticize. Thanks for being genial.
Honestly, I think it's just that parting shot from Thunderlane that makes me cringe. I just feel like Dash would have reacted more to that. Grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and threatened him. Yeah, she was caught off guard for the most of it, but that bit would set her off.
Bah, it may just be my overinflated sense of justice. I can't stand the bad guy getting the last word. I blame too many cartoons growing up.
4419648
Well, there's always the chance that Thunderlane suffers an unfortunate 'accident' when everypony comes back...
But yeah, the ending kinda had me stumped. Would RD flip out and beat him to a pulp, or would she be in a daze/shock over everything that's happened. From personal experience, the latter is the more common outcome.
And that is one thing a lot of my stories share in common; the good guy doesn't always win. Again, it's a take from life experiences... I've seen people literally get away with murder with a slap on the wrist and then go free.
I like it, it's not as dark as your other works, but nice none the less.
4419667
And that's where we reach the impass in tastes, I guess.
You're absolutely right. In the real world, the bad guys win all the time. Rapists get off with probation, genocidal dictators live their lives in house arrest. That's why I read fiction: to escape our unfair world. I love these characters, and I want to see them suceed. I want to spend time in a world where justice can prevail, where the bad guy gets what he has coming to him.
I fully get your position, and I agree with Tom Aryara when he sings about "the beauty of death we all adore." I just feel that if you want to see the bad guys win and good people suffer... Turn on the news, you know?
But, to each his own.
Oh okay its a porn
Well at least these Thunderlane stories make more sense than some griffin army strongarming Equestria with the Power Of Rape. Partly because they are isolated incidents.
Another job well done
I came.
4426866 Interesting
4427365 very.
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/338/f/6/cool_story_kaiba_meme_generator_now_thats_what_by_fox_fire_vash-d6ws8pt.jpg
Huh, and here I thought you'd gone away.
Seems Thunderlane's back up to his old tricks... though at least he didn't smear some sort of hypnotic aphrodisiac drug on the inside of the costumes, that'd be more his style from previous appearances. ^^()
EPILOGUE: Soon afterwards, some mares found the camera and he was arrested for spying on the mares in their locker room, Dash, finding out she was not pregnant, got his promotion, and Thunderlane was locked away in prison for several years as he endured many sodomies.
I'd like that ending! Think what he got what he deserved then. 
Thanks for the delicious story, let's see if there are any more... Oh, sweet jesus yes!
4419667
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120215173555/jakehastomuchtimeonhishands/images/5/51/Hugh_Jelly.png
But yeah, I agree with you that she would be in shock.
so thunderlane is the rapist of this universe? not who i would of picked but i do want to see more of him and maybe one day he finally gets whats coming to him but for now i do hope to see more stories :D
You should do more rape fics about Thunderlane, with him raping the other mane six, starting off with Fluttershy. That would be good.
4673757 yeah! or just continue on this story, and make him rape rainbow again and again, until she begins to likes it
I like it but whats up with mares and stallions sharing a locker room?
You are actually making start to hate Thunderlane...
here wouldn't happen to be a sequel to this one would there?
I'll never get tired of reading this story. Always does it for me.
Sorry, Rainbow wouldn't act like this. Sure, she could get addicted to pleasure- anyone can. But this was one time and she wasn't on drugs. She'd murder Thunderlane.
The comments and general feel I get from your fics do not enthuse me greatly to read these...
Like, I get where you're coming from with the whole "Real life is dark" thing. But like Jake the Army Guy said, I prefer happy endings. Bad guys having the last word in a conversation, or winning in general, just leaves a bad taste in my mouth and the pit of my stomach. I read what I'm pretty sure is the sequel to this, and while it was hot, I did not like Thunderlane simply because he was a general douchebag and refused to learn a lesson even though he was hospitalized. Just makes me want to punch him in the face until he's swallowing teeth, really.
I want to be able to read your stories, but from the sounds of it, at this point I'd just be reading for an erotic thrill every now and again rather than reading it for the story. And that's not good.
7554974 dude the good guys always win!! Fuck that shit we need more shit where the BAD GUY WINS!!!
4419648 I love to see the bad guy get the last word!!!
7599114 And that's acceptable when an author can write a bad guy in a "good" way. Just being bad because he's meant to be an antagonist is lazy as hell, and Thunderlane was the stupid kind of bad.
It's an annual event, though. Not exactly once in a lifetime. And didn't she already go as a wonderbolt?
meep. The chance for a mare to get preggars while not in heat is almost 0. So they can enjoy as much raw unprotected fun as they like. A mare knows her own heat cicle and can get help from an alchemist or a unicorn who knows the right spells.
And if "picking on rainbow dash" means "have her mounted and rutted hard by stallions" to you then please never stop