TheCamel
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I think Ray is going to find out about the phrase "With great power, comes great responsibility" the hard way...
Interesting start to this series... I'm out for blood... Ray's blood that is...
Interesting. I wonder how this will end.
Sombra's horn eh? We will see about at. This is getting interesting.
I'm still sad with the fate that the viewers gave the other, ponies (no spoilers)
...
fuck it. THE ADVENTURE CONTINUES
Wait, we're continuing the griffon war saga? Hmmm interesting. I look forward to more of this.
Also, when I read the "power comes at a great price" line, for some reason I had one of those brain dead thoughts that said he would lose his dick as the price.
don't judge, I am way too tired for logic.
call me a plot Nazi if you have to. i'll tattoo a swastika to my chest if I must. but the concepts you are working with do not mesh well with at all with what is known and seen. sombra was overpowered by the regal sisters, likely much younger ones and by their own raw power than the elements since sombra did not lose his powers. thus what use would a fragment of sombra's power wielded by and inexperienced magic user, against the regal sisters? any one of them alone could eliminate him now, and would cause he has madeh imsefl a target.
and there are a lot of logical fallacies. discord not coming because the character chose? the characters lose influence the moment discord and the likelihood of him coming along came up. not to mention he stands as a completely impossible obstacle, especially for a user of a far lesser dark magic. so it basically makes rainbow and spitfire dying meaningless cause he has no chance.
there are a whole lot of toehrs but I do not want to rave and rant too long. just nothings fits. the moment this guy encoutners disord, a regal sister, likely even twilight, he loses. simple as that. story over.
story telling has certain rules to it. you have to work around what you want done with the capacity of the characters, as characters make the story. you need to know how your plans could be unraveled. basically if solution is so simple as the regal sisters and twilight teleporting and surrounding your oc and blasting him till only cinders remain, which is full in their aiblities and he lacks the ability to stop this, and their anger over his actions would allow them the twisted will to outright kill a hen, then there is a problem here.
......uugh, I feel like I have been nothing but critical with almost every story I have come across. I am story if I am being harsh but I feel flaws need to be addressed. just that I cannot think of anything that would be constructive here.
Well, the elements are now useless, I'm cutious what comes next
4327780 When you say that. Something tells me that this is not going to end well is it?
4327780 celestia and luna killing his ass?
they did not use the elements to defeat sombra. we have seen what they do. they either purge darkness from a target, petrify one that is dangerous but not outright wicked, and possibly outright destroy someone who is purely wicked. sombra's fate was likely a working of their own magic and not the elements, else he would have no power.
that means they kicked his ass personally.
it also means the horn is about as useful as the alicorn amulet on snips or snails. it is a crticism i had since the last story and i retain now. it makes no sense and the object is worthless agaisnt the enemy........ meaning dash and spitefire's death is moe idiotic because of it.
even more so Discord would have killed him already. no matter how you interpret his reform or not, he doubtlessly loves fluttershy. the opening has him hiding in her cottage watching her with a soft expression. dash's demise would leave fluttershy broken and grieving...........
there is no stretches of the imaginiation that would either allow the gryphon to defeat discord or for discord not to rent a tiny piece off of the gryphon for every single tear from flutter's eyes.
Hmm. Something doesn't feel right or sense about this story. :/ Somepony enlighten me please?
4327892 basically it is a continuation of his last fic.............. it had a really forced ending.
biggest problem might be one we shared. how would sombra's horn actually be a weapon agains tthe regal sisters? all evidence points to them defeating him under their own powe, a thosuand years ago when they were younger. so what would that horn, probably not even containing all his power at all, would be against the beigns that overhwlmed the sisters?
not to mention we gots discord. discord, definitely not gonna be possible to defeat.
4327948 Hmm. True. But if King Sombra's horn is cut off. How is it still active?
4327956 think the idea is that it etain sombra's power or something. and the gryphon somehow connected to it..............
as i said, i cannot see why that would give him any powe to fight the regal sisters. hell i would almsot say that the youngest alicorn, twilight, could either overpower or fight him evenly.
4327962 Hmm. Now I'm confused.
4327971
It seems like the horn is like the soul stones from Diablo...
4328257 soul stones from Diablo? What's that?
4328283
They contained the souls of Diablo, Baal and Mephisto, in Diablo 1, the protagonist gets the one with Diablo in it, stabs himself with it, and its corrupts him, and he will resurrect Diablo in Diablo 2, in short
4328637 I see. Now before I can get confused. How in the hay did Ray the griffon found King Sombra's horn?
4328643
I don't really remember the details, but it was in a cave somewhere north. How did he learn the exact location is beyond me.
4328703 I see. And I'm aware that King Sombra's horn has dark magic. That's a bad thing and it can be troubling. It can corrupt the user the more it is used.
I always hted ray the mother fucker. God damn it. If even a pony rescued from the caverns, yes, I bet you know who i'm talking about, were to have survived his suicide, he could use the crystal heart
Every pony in Los Pegasus was dead..........no......t.... this is just too much for me to handle anymore.......
It seems like some of the griffons are hesitating with Ray's new power and are horrified that they had to slaughter everypony they saw.
I'm hoping one or several of them rise against Ray and KILL HIM WITH F*CKING FIRE!!!!
I can only hope that Ray dies at the end of all this.
AAAnd we just reached Joffrey level douchebaggery. You have to admit, he did set a high standard.
God dammit, it's too early in the morning for this shit.
Holy shit... The other books were dark, but this... This is Spec Ops: The Line level darkness.
I am happy Mr. Camel. Here is why:
-Finals are done.
-My favorite story is continuing.
- This is a great present for making it through another semester.
-You are amazing.
-
4348045
It's never too early...
4392659
So.. Thunderbird huh......
T-They destroyed Octavia's prized cello...
RAY AND HIS GRIFFONS MUST DIE NOW!!!! 
4415998
Jeez, about time someone commented.
Also glad someone also finally figured that loss...
4416023 You may destroy Los Pegasus and pillage everything else around it, but if some body touches and/or destroys Octavia's cello, some griffon's gonna become deep fried with gravy and a biscuit with my next meal!
4416130
Better turn on your fryer, because they already have...
There's the stuff that makes this series amazing! Still keeping me on my seat with this new story!
Hmm....who's Ray talking about?...
4417650 i've got $10 down on fluer.
Camel ya know im a huge fan of all ur stories
especially this saga...but they (commenters) do all seem to have a point when it comes to rays power versus Twi Tia Luna or Discord....sorry if Im being overly critical
still gonna read cause I loves ya stories
4424403 the fact of the matter is the princesses are trying to save their homes and stop ray, ray's just trying to fuck shit up, so while the princesses may over power ray, they are inhibited where ray is not, they must stop ray while simultaneously protecting their home, and any person who's watched once upon a time will tell you; all magic comes with a price. to use magic powerful enough to defeat ray's army the princesses would be leaving a pretty big wake which doesn't seem to be an option anymore considering the battle has entered the cities.
I cloped to allmost evry chapter of your story
Even the last one where RDand spitfire die.
But someone touched octavia s cello
Now im too mad to clop
Ever
EVER
We'll maby not ever if the next few chapters have clop in.
FUCK YOU RAY AND YOUR WHOLE GRIFFONS' CITY!) Hey camel, can we have that poll again to choose for ray, and can the princess can revive the three we killed ( that if we choose to kill one of them, you just kill all of them. you are evil, so you would do that.)Luna revived tank.
Grrrrrrrr!!!!!
Ray is getting me angry!!!
Thunderlane's betrayal is something i came to expect. He will die for this act of treason.... mark my words
4570321
I think it's at the point where people would be shocked if he DIDN'T betray Equestria...
Definitely not sure what to think of it. It all just doesn't seem plausible. The narrative it pure plot convenience... Storytelling in essence is plot convenience, as all things must occur at the right time to the right characters, but you have to hide it in the narrative. Here the narrative only emphasizes the convenience and plot holes.
Ray is okay, not exactly what I would call a comparable threat even to Chrysalis, but okay. Though that horn, should not be useful.
I agree with all those other guys in the comments. Sombra was very powerful. Ray with his horn would be strong, but far from Sombra's level of power for various reasons. The regal sisters are more powerful than sombra and beat him under their own power, as the beam they shot in the episode was not a rainbow.
In other words Ray is not a threat ultimately, not if the Regal Sisters fight him, even one of them.
Also it was pure plot convenience, and contrivance, to send someone connected to the nuclear missile of Equestria and capable of large scale damage to the enemy, on a mission like that. I would dare say she only went on it to die, if not for that rather flawed choose your adventure thing.
Just so you know, I would never have brought either of them on that mission if I was actually in that story. Both far too important to bring along, a Captain and a living nuclear deterrent. Second person does not really work most of the time.
4570373 Indeed
Okay, not only will I have fried chicken with my dinner, but Pegasus medium rare for my dog also!
THEY MUST DIE!!!!!
Celestia's a damned idiot in this. A murdering maniac is control of the Griffons, he's just wiped a whole city off the map...and she still thinks she can talk peace? Yeah, the British PM before Churchhill thought he could talk peace with Hitler too. And Luna's right, if they guy has Sombra's powers, better to do something to take him down now while he doesn't have full mastery of them, than later when he does. If they wait and still manage to win this, it'll probably end with the Griffon Empire disappearing for a 1000 years, and Ray coming back as a shadow monster, only he'll rasp 'RAPE' all the time instead of 'CRYSTALS.'
I think Celestia's gonna learn the hard way what being the less popular diarch is like, assuming she stays in power at all, if she doesn't get her plot in gear and start actually doing something.
4572206 Agreed