There were drums in the Everfree, heralding those who hunted. Even here they dared molest, to try and take from her the last and most precious possession she had. That which was written into the very name of the forest itself; her freedom.
There were drums in the Everfree, and Zecora was angry.
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Oooh, I've been looking forward to this. Very good so far!
Spotted one minor typo:
Seems like we're missing something, there.
Edit: Cool song, too
Cool!
5281140 Ah, thanks. I thought I'd fixed that before I posted, but I must have gotten distracted.
When Zecora puts on the mask, you can hear the distorted guitar riff start chugging away.
To quote Bill and Ted, EXCELLENT!
This is cool, and I'm really excited to see where it's going. I love stuff from beyond Equestria's borders, as well as weird dark voodoo shit.
You do have a whole bunch of minor grammatical and punctuation problems, though, the most glaring of which is a superfluous apostrophe in an "its" near the end. If you like I can try to compile the ones I noticed, but I can't guarantee completeness or promptness.
So you are Reverbrony? I mostly don't follow pony music, but I like what that piece suggests about future chapters.
oh my what do we have here? :) hehe
Nicely done CDRW, great story, i'm truly touched that my song would inspire you to write this. ^_^ thank you
P.S. Could you please amend your author's note a little bit, it seems to imply that you wrote my song. ;)
5284719 Ah, sorry.
5284147 No, I'm not. I just worded the Author's Note badly.
As for grammatical errors, I'd be more than happy if you want to point them out. I feel like my grasp on SPAG has declined quite a bit lately.
5285587 I PM'ed you so as to not take up a huge chunk of comment space with stuff that you're going to change anyway.
5287716 Thanks!
Antagonists done fscked up now.
Good read, a few grammatical errors and some missing words here-and-there, but otherwise quite enjoyable.
Quick question: do you plan on using only African Voodooism or will you also be incorporating some elements from New Orleans Voodooism? I'm not particularly savvy in voodoo in general, only having done some slight research for a story I had written, but from what I understand there are some distinct differences between the two.
5304587 I'm just borrowing from here and there with a few ideas of my own. Don't expect me to stay faithful to any sort of real life source material.
5324489
That's fine, just so long as you keep the story as interesting as it is now, then it's all good.
Oooooooo, this is something. I am quite hooked.
And man oh man, it's good to read your stuff again.
you got me hooked i cant wait for next chapter
So, it`s incompleted? I thought it was a short-one. Interesting to see next chapter.
As for the story i like your descriptions, especially mood settings and atmosphere. From beautiful describing of Zecora`s house at moonlight to intensive atmosphere and a bit of nervousness(in story mood, not in character) and composure at the same time.
Great one: 4,5 out of 5. (took 0.5 away because found nothing "so special" about your story that could really catch me, but again at is well written)