I'm college brony who specializes in crossover stories and possible rp logs in Deviantart
A teleportation spell gone wrong teleports the Straw Hat crew to the land of Equestria and chaos ensues.
Get ready for laughs, awkward situations, and all out war that saves the nation of ponies!
Takes place post time skip in One Piece between Punk Hazard and Dressrosa, along with pre-coronation Twilight
MLP: FIM (C) Hasbro
One Piece (C) Eiichiro Oda
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I like it so far. the concept is rarely done in my opinion.
I don't see much problems in grammar, so that's good. I recommend putting more info or small details to really bring out the story in your vision. I also like how everything is going too, I hope to see some interesting things happening soon.
if I could suggest something you should really make the chapters longer that way people can get more enjoyment instead of little snippets of the story at a time but that's just my suggestion oh and nice touch on the sombra intro lol
MOARRRR!~!!!!!!!
You should make it longer i think. If you want to take your time for the next chapter i think you could statisfied more people with a longer chapter than a short at once. Or you could make new chapters faster and keep them short if this is going to be a longer story.
I would like it if they are going to stay in Equestira, if someone of the ponies stay with the Crew or if they make from time to time more spells like this and keep visit them.
And at least yeah i think i could like this story^^
well i don´t know what you have planned but i just want to say it now.
I just want to say what i wish for, it is just that i don´t like farewell´s in such movies or comics ect. I just want to have a chance for them to meet again
I want to help, i think you forget that word? I don´t speak English that good but i think the big one is missing
“Now why in the world would we do that? We just arrived and they’re already afraid of us!” as Usopp exclaimed.
Do you want me to spoiler this things if i pick some sentence ?
Well i still like it, but i think this is to short, it looks or feels a bit like they would just do only one thing in the whole Chapter
I would bet Ussop could challenge Rainbow Dash maybe, i mean he was running away from more enemies than any Character i know at the moment
Yeah i would like it if the chapters are longer.
It is ok how fast they get the Ursar Minor, but i hope there are Enemies for them, wich they maybe could not beat up that fast. I mean it would be more interesting if Chrysalis or Sombra are a real challenge for the strawheads.
Well I like the Story, i give a thumb up but the fave have to wait till i see more
Why not make Chrysalis going with Ruffy? I just thought this would be ok because no one would like to have her in Equestria i think. I just thought of this because it seems that she looks for shelter right now. It is nice, but i think you should make it longer and i don´t know if you have to or not but i think you could also describe more things like the surrounding to make it longer. I don´t know if it is what i want but it is just a suggestion
PS: Nice Chapter
I really think you should put more into the chapter, so you should do this...
Since your usual chapter consists of 1 to 2 scenes, make the next two chapters into one. For example, in chapter 1 and chapter 2, they fit together so well that they should be a combined single chapter. Chapter 3 and 4 fit well together too, so they should also be combined into a single chapter.
I know it's a bit of work, but our goal as an entertaining writer is to let our readers read something for a while, not a minute or two.
BTW I still support you!
This is good, i like it more that way and have nothing to complain this time
Well i always mean it in a good way
Did Pinkie Pie say *gulp* hot dogs?
“Worth it” as the duo weakly said reeling from the electricity.
- True
Well i like it.
shits about to get real!!
I like the story but please for the love of god check your spelling and grammar just message someone to do it for you since I can tell that English is not your first language so it's acceptable in that regard but still get an editor
P.S. I would be willing to do it
4345727
Actually I was born in San Francisco and English is in fact my first language despite my Hispanic heritage. But yes there are some grammar and spelling mistakes...this is a story, not a college essay.
4346045 I just wanna go on record and say I was just trying to help I you don't want to have it edited and checked for spelling and grammar I don't really care but I do suggest it also don't get me wrong I love one peice and this fic
4346269
It's all right, I know you mean well and I appreciate your likeness for my fic. But please be more careful when you use "For the love of God", it sounded like I did something horrible and needed to be punished.
hmmm when it is the new Nami, then i am ok with it i like the look more, but i prefer Robin if i have to choose one of them.
Is it Garp?
thought it was BBBFF, like, Big Brother Best Friend Forever. awesome story though... and is the person you? or a villain? Whitebeard?
is the child shining's
4349420
please read previous chapter
4349431 haven't reread it yet but shouldn't it be labeled ch9
4349431 reread it it was at the very bottom might have skipped over first time
4349433
Thanks for the look out! you earn a 'stache!
4349471 you get a
there needs to be more one piece crossovers they're usually very funny if luffy's the one in equestria
the fuck is with sanji
well i was enjoying this until last chapter, that just killed it for me
BON-CHAAAAAN!
Something is amiss here...
Edit:
Too
Oh, pleasepleaseplease let it be Bon Clay!?
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7ehoiqhvy1qkegu7o1_500.gif
4351295 thanks for spotting those out, it's those damn little things that throws you off.
luffy: BON-CHAAAAAAN
bon clay: LUFFY-CHAAAAAAAAAN
luffy: BON-CHAAAAAAAAAAN
bon clay: LUFFY-CHAAAAAAAAAN
(commence epic hug and sunset no jutsu)
Mr. Two yeah yeah yeah
Just them a light blue unicron awakes from her nightmare….
Just sayin unicron was the planet destroyer from transformers
one of the longest one piece crossovers ive read
4341572 sorry, but Luffy is made of rubber, making him immune to electricity.
4353973 here's my response to that statement..skip to 1:36
Okay now I know it's Bon-Clay
4353973 i didn´t thought, that i could forget that little detail
I hate to sound like an all-knowing a-hole, but Zoro is actually the First Mate and not Usopp.
Nice fighting pairs i think. I hate Flim Flam and Blueblood probably the most.
Its 36 calibre phonix not 30
Let the glorious ass-kicking commence!
The ponies are taking the whole "slaying another creature" surprisingly well?
I hope there is no Soarin Rainbow Dash romance again, not that i hate him but this pairing show up to often. It looks more me like Rainbow want Soarin often only because he is a Wonderbolt too. I just don´t want Rainbow Dash like him only because his position.
But i like the chapter, i just feel like i want to say this and not because of you or something like that.
romance really doesn't belong with one piece
4378279
Just because you went berserk and killed your girlfriend, doesn't mean you can take it out on anyone else, oh and have a present.
*buries Psaro in burning rubber chickens*
4378654 just because you can't get a girlfriend doesn't mean you can say people have killed theirs