• Member Since 26th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen March 12th

Jet Lignite


Professionals have standards.

Comments ( 103 )

A first person tale..... Those things are rare....

4696018 Just wait, it gets better.:scootangel::pinkiecrazy:

hard to judge exactly where this is headed considering the entire prologue seems to be a recap of something.

Ahh, if only I could regulate taste. Alas, free speech.

Dem genre tags.

Hehe, pretty neat. I can see why you're getting downvoted, though. Maybe patch up your grammar a bit and try not to make references to things like Chucky. Using well-known characters from other franchises usually kills the mood.

I'm so confused on WTF is going on? :rainbowhuh:

While this idea is pretty fucking funny, I think you tend to take people out of it a lot with a lack of technical expertise. I think you need to ind an editor and work through this some, but you're got a good base.

This story requires proofreading and basic editing. So many typos in just the prologue.

The MANN Mercs!? The Caribou are SO screwed!

I've been waiting for something like this for a long time. Thank you!

FAK YES DUDE. I'VE WAITED FOR DIS FOR...2 months I think.

4696018
Writing in first person isn't actually that hard.

Can't we just have a normal pony story for once...?

Please?

Word. Why is this I don't even

This is the most pointless story I have ever read in my time on this fair good site! What possible reason could be given for it to exist? It is a crossover of a degenerate misogynistic alternate universe, a spin-off movie, and a video game! Tell me why you felt it had to exist!

4699830

There can be only one, but let us not clutter up the comments of this story with any power struggles. Also I'm following you like immediately.

4699847

this

4699847
It warms my heart to see logic manage to survive in the murky waters of this site.

Comment posted by Aardvark Jane deleted Jul 16th, 2014

How about we see what's gonna happen instead of just outright bashing this story because of what it is crossing over with? Remember what happened when you guys complained about the trailer of Equestria Girls and the Twilight Alicorn incident? After you saw the outcome of them both, you immediatley shut the fuck up and was like "Oh now I love/like this!" I bet you money that it's gonna be the same here.

4698938 Wait, didn't you get Super-Butthurt about FoE?

4702261 I have very big thumbs and a very small phone screen

4702396
Trust me, I know of the struggle. It is quite real.

4701833
yeah, but anti-FoE fics are fun.

I've yet to see one that really deconstructs the whole idea and turn it against itself though.

4702598 Me too, and with TF2 crew none-the-less!

Interesting... go on, I am interested...

-Zeph

Well, this needs a firm proofreading, but otherwise the story is great!
I am curious about how this will unfold, how the mercs start their job after acknowledging that they are in a different world...
Well, one way to find it out.
Go on.

-Zeph

4701222 "You guys" refers to the spineless idiots that populate this cesspit/fandom. They need others to tell them what to think or else they cannot form an identity at all. Equestria Girls is still shit, Alicorn Twilight is still shit, this story is still a waste of everyone's time and you're still culturally and artistically bankrupt for defending it.

Only two problems, both spelling : It's spelled Saxton and the Demomane's first name is Tavish.

4705371 Well that was honestly embarrassing. Thanks. Anything else I should know?

4705513 I think you should add in some of their special weaponry, as in stuff like the Loch 'N Load, for when they get into Equestria. Also Spell Books.

4707394
Buddy let me tell ya, you wll not be disappointed.:ajsmug: Just gotta make sure I get the next two chapters right is all.

4696913 4697076 4702920
First, I am in no way a professional for writing and let's face it, we have seen worse.:duck:

I was wondering what you were talking about. I went back to find that my corrections were not saved before I published this story and for that I apologize. :facehoof:

As for chapter 2... that's just how Demo talks. If it bothers anyone, I suppose I will change it. Later on:pinkiesmile:


4698473 4697276 4697289 4697357
The caribou will never see it coming...:pinkiecrazy:

I am intrigued. Do not disappoint.

Oh this is going to be fun:pinkiehappy:

This story is already looking good. Update soon!:pinkiehappy:

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