I need him...
I want him....
I love him...
I think about him every day of my life, I want to tell him how I feel,
I can't... I must.
My Discord, my handsone, kind Discord.
All the men are nice but sometimes they start whispering things to me and start tugging at my skirt.
That's when a dark knight comes into my life and saves me from danger.
All I want is to feel his arms around me.
I want to know he's protecting me.
I love everything about him
Him disfigured body, they way he makes a joke or pun about everything, the way his beard and mane glistens after he showers.
But most of all I love his amber eyes and his manly voice. He makes me feel safe with him everywhere we go, I just hope he loves me too. If he's the man I thought he'd be, if he'd reject or cherish it....
I just wanna shout out loud that I love him, I LOVE THE LORD OF CHAOS.
But I can't... I don't have a voice so I must.cry....
The galas this week and me, my friends and bulk-biceps are going.
It's a masquerade gala so I'm excited, its gonna be like my favourite book "the phantom of the opera"
Where this girl name Christine diay meets a mysterious man who teaches her how to sing and well I'm not gonna get that into it
I'll leave the rest for you to read. Anyway that's gonna be the night I tell Discord hope he feels the same way....
I'm so scared
D'awww
Love it but I saw 2 mistakes.
1. But I can't... I don't have a voice so I must.cry....
is that dot between must and cry meant to be there?
2. Where this girl name Christine diay
it's Dae not diay
Typo: "I love everything about him Him disfigured body..." I love everything about him: his disfigured body, his jokes, his X, his Y, and even his Z.
Typo: "I don't have a voice so I must.cry" Should be "I don't have a voice, so I must cry"
While it using literary devices like the allusion or foreshadowing can enhance a work, I caution your use here. You may be giving too much away. Let me guess: they both go to the gala in disguise. Perhaps one mentions "I like you very much, but I have a crush on X" and the other is like "What a coincidence, I am X". Love ensues. If, on the other hand, you bring your audience to expect this, and then surprise them, you are genius. Well, no, I don't think this story could ever be genius because it's got way too many ellipses, but I digress. It would be neat if Fluttershy's mention of her favorite book was mere characterization, not foreshadowing. Well, I say foreshadowing, but you might as well be telegraphing in bold 24 pt. font.
Was that too harsh? I mean, sometimes in order to learn how to do a thing, you have to learn how to NOT do a thing first. Like when Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb.
How about a run-down on grammar. It's useful to know even if you're going to flaunt it like e. e. cummings.
Do you know the difference between a Dependent Clause, an Independent Clause, and a Phrase?
A phrase (P) lacks a subject and predicate. (Or "subject and verb" if you prefer) An example of a P is "Being responsible". By itself, a P is not a complete sentence; it is a sentence fragment.
A Dependent Clause (DC) has both a subject and predicate, but it can not stand on its own. An example of a DC is "If you win the bet". If you win the bet, then WHAT? I have to sing My Little Pony in public? Give money to charity? By itself, a DC is a sentence fragment.
An Independent Clause (IC) has both a subject and verb, AND it can stand on its own. "I ran" "The dog bit me" Without an IC, a sentence is not complete; it is a sentence fragment.
You can combine P, DC, and IC in a variety of ways. You need a comma after a DC when it's followed by an IC. "If you win the bet, I do the dishes for a week" "When you come home, I'll feed the dog" If the IC comes before the DC, then a comma probably isn't needed. "I'll feed the dog when you come home" Phrases pretty much always need a comma...I think. "Being responsible for once, Naruto decided to eat his vegetables"
There are several ways to combine 2 ICs. The most common is a comma and a coordinating conjunction: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so. "I went to the movies, and Joe walked the dog" "I wanted to play outside, but it was raining" "The light turned red, so I hit the brakes" Another method is the semicolon. However, remember not to use a comma and that the ICs must be related. "I love butterflies; they're so pretty" "I hate A Tale of Two Cities; my favorite character died for a pathetic girl whose main character trait was that she fainted a lot" You can also use dashes. I am unsure of the rules regarding colons. YOU CAN NOT CONNECT TWO IC WITH A COMMA. That is a comma splice, or run-on sentence. Well, OK, I suppose that it's not completely illegal because artistic liberty, but if you're writing a comma splice at least be writing it on purpose.
By the way, don't put a comma every time you see the word "and". It's possible for a subject to be used for more than one verb. ex.) I ran down the hallway and smashed into a door. The subject "I" applies to both "ran" and "smashed". If you wrote "I ran down the hallway, and smashed into a door", then you're connecting an IC with a P using a coordinating conjunction--which are supposed to connect 2 ICs. To correct your mistake, you'd have to change it to "I ran down the hallway, smashing into a door" IC, P.