Your formatting needs SERIOUS work. Combine your two chapters and make proper paragraphs. Edit your story description into three strong sentences to draw readers in, then wow them with your content. I feel like I'm reading a play that was slapped down, not a story that someone put effort into.

4295802 Done and done, thanks for the feedback.

Not trying to sound self-centered, but there should be a link to Ending.

And I'm putting a link to this on Ending. You can be sure of that.

Oh! Also, I hereby proclaim this story to be canon to the arc.

It's seriously that good.

You get a fav my good man. This good.

4296179 Thank you, I appreciate the praise. But be sure to let me know where I need to improve, this is my first story and I'm sure there's plenty I can work on!

4295802 You remind me of my english teacher at school

Liked the first chapter, but you got one tiny thing wrong. Nurse Redheart has a pink mane, not blonde. Great work none the less!

4297882 Fixed, thanks for the feedback.

I hobbled along, trying to give the pony as wide a berth as possible

The word berth is used improperly here. Unless you meant grin, then say smile or grin. Berth has to do with ships.

4300475

A berth is a bed in nautical terms, but when used as "giving a wide berth" it means to keep one's distance from something. He's trying to reach the bathroom while staying as far away from Redheart as possible.

so far i like

It's rare to find such a heart warming story.
Makes me feel the same way I did when my cat died! :3 awww

No, but seriously, this is a better tragedy than the prequel. "Ending" should have been, at least, a long one shot.
The pacing felt wrong, and since it all went so fast, the tragic ending wasn't as emotional as it could have been.

Anyway, happy to see that your taking your time to write an emotional story.

My thoughts were once again broken by the clearing of a stallion's throat. "You're lucky to be alive, Mr. Wright. Any longer, and a crushed larynx would've been the least of your problems."

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Phoenix:
"I should have been dead nontheless! Don't feed me with lies!" *slams fist on bed* I demand a second attempt!

4309882 *stabs* there ya go mate

Oh wow, i'm actually considering not using anything that could give off a reflection for a few years just to see myself later.
The main character is truly pathetic, it's sad really, if I didn't have friends and family with me, this is just what i'd turn out like.

4309882 OBJECTION OVERRULED

"The end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never-"

4326516 humans are social creatures and being shunned hated at every turn I could see this happening after 3 YEARS.Honestly for a herd animal like a pony if the situation was reversed I expect the pony to last a year at the most.

4327696 Akiba!

4359575 NO NO NO!!! YOU WILL GO AWAY STANELY! GO FOLLOW THE ADVENTURE LINE GO ON

I was high as a kite.

Nice.

With enough morphine, you can also BECOME the kite.

4588359 Wha... wha .... wha ....
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Brillant!!

Why am I reading this? It's so I can see the ponies guilt at what they did to him that's why.

4326516 While humans are meant to be solitary and social animals, I could easily see this happening to someone under these circumstances.

6197108 isn't that why we are all here?

You've gained some attention here after huge break. One question though: why on hiatus?

Deja vu, deja frikken vu.

When I was 11 I was hit by a truck while riding a bike. After waking up post surgery, I asked my mom what was in the I.V. (it was morphine), and she said it was just saline. My response? "Whyyy can't we have this at hoooooommmmmeeee?"

Opiates are useful, but years later I am very glad that I was able to stop taking oxycodone. Honestly, it is better to just bear my chronic pain than to bear the addiction so many people have been handed. . . Ok, this is not the place for a rant against the pharmaceutical industry, but I will say I was very lucky through genetics, not to have become physically dependent. Listen to your Doctors kids, but don't be afraid to ask questions.

We humans are worthless. Can't even die right. Gives me conniptions.

"Quick, get—sedative!"

Why did they do that?

10594128
To prevent panic. He was just brought in and his neck could be broken

6768045
Humans are social creatures. We have a pack/herd instinct. Put us in a situation where we can't talk to, see another, or have casual contact with another person and we literally go insane.

10594128
Fear? , hate? , precaution?