A New Friendship

Silver Starlight

Silver Starlight #1 · Apr 27th, 2014 · 3 · · Skylight and Teleportation ·

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I've seen better grammar from toddlers. Pass.

FicusCat

FicusCat #2 · Apr 27th, 2014 · 2 · · Skylight and Teleportation ·

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Starshine a unicorn and a half dragon pony,

Reeve

Reeve #3 · Apr 27th, 2014 · 2 · · Skylight and Teleportation ·

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Wow the writing in this is atrocious I need to find who attempted to teach you English and have them sacked

Leafall

Leafall #4 · Apr 27th, 2014 · 2 · · School Time ·

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Oh, my... You know, this could actually be an awesome idea for a comedy fic, but I guess you put 'tragedy' in the tag section. But I guess it's possible. Yes, this story could have some sort of potential, but your grammar and writing style needs some cleaning up. Really badly. I don't know, read some guides, grammar books study things like that, please. I mean, there's even a guide on this site that you can read. And many more!

Some things:

Starshine a unicorn and a half dragon pony, though she doesn't have the appearance of a dragon, instead she breathes fire if she sneezes and hiccups.

Not only do you need to fix the first part of the sentence (verb, anyone?), but half dragon, half unicorn... Seriously?

"How I love the Moon and stars! they always make me happy and very cheerful!"

Why would she just randomly say that?

"No buts Starshine dear, but you need to go to school so you can learn and have friends instead of writing fanfics."

This sounds so fake, it's unbelievable.

Earlier that morning

No, please don't do this. This is the worst possible transition ever. Please.

"Morning Starshine dear." Rarity smiled as she readied the food and look happily at her daughter

And then Spike is the father... Now this is where you got me. I guess the dragon thing makes sense now. Although, this is still a bit bizarre.

At Celestia's school for gifted unicorns

Again, horrible transition.

Near the Recess Time

Brrrr! You like doing this, don't you?

Umachan

Umachan #5 · Apr 27th, 2014 · 4 · · Skylight and Teleportation ·

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English writing not your forte is. For is difficult to reading what is you wrote. Much strangeness you use. Thinking maybe English not your language?

Leafall

Leafall #6 · Apr 27th, 2014 · · · Skylight and Teleportation ·

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4300249
Trust me, I've seen much worse.

Reeve

Reeve #7 · Apr 27th, 2014 · · · Skylight and Teleportation ·

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4300269 Yeah so have I, just not today

Quillamore

Quillamore #8 · Apr 27th, 2014 · 1 · · Skylight and Teleportation ·

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"No buts Starshine dear, but you need to go to school so you can learn and have friends instead of writing fanfics."

Who says you can't do all of these? I write fanfic and still get pretty good grades.

Scootareader

Scootareader #9 · Apr 28th, 2014 · 2 · · Skylight and Teleportation ·

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Starshine a unicorn and a half dragon pony

Looks like Starshine finally got a fic featuring him. Lucky dog.

though she doesn't have the appearance of a dragon

Of course not. She'd be ugly at that point, or look exactly like Claire. Her looking half-dragon definitely wouldn't work out.

instead she breathes fire if she sneezes and hiccups

Hilarity ensues.

"How I love the Moon and stars! they always make me happy and very cheerful!"

Somepony's been reading too much Shakespeare.

"Did I not say your sleeping early? for you had school tomorrow."

More Shakespearean speech. You're a far better writer than Shakespeare, though; I'm actually enjoying this story, unlike his plays.

"But Mom I don't want to sleep at night for I want to stay all night!"

Is... is Starshine an autistic Shakespeare?

it was her fanfics

I bet she wrote this story. It's certainly written like a self-insert.

"Morning Starshine dear." Rarity smiled

images.wikia.com/mlp/images/a/aa/Pinkie_Pie_excited_%22ooh!%22_EG.png
This just gets better and better.

"You know dear sleeping, at day and staying all night is a bad habit, for you might get cranky when you get to your school and you might have no friends."

Ah, it looks like autism runs in the family. I thought it might be because of the whole half-pony half-dragon abomination thing she is that caused her to talk like that, but it looks like it's just genetics.

I support you for writing this fic with remarkably human characters. It's not everyone that can write autism believably.

"Starshine what if both me and your Mother is not here for a long time what will you feel?"

Probably abandonment. Most children feel that when their parents abandon them.

"I'll be going now see you later." said Spike as he kiss both the cheeks of Rarity and Starshine and hug both of them and leaved.

Spike, you stud, you. I didn't know you were into ponies younger than you. Or your own family.

she place a saddlebag at Starshine

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"But why? this is for unicorns who knows powerful magics and I can't even do any magic I can only levitate things plus I don't have a cutie mark!" Starshine cried.

Sounds like autism. I'm sorry, Rarity dear. You knew the risks when Spike told you, "I want to come inside, Rarity!" and you let him in out of the rain.

"Dear, that's why your here, so you can learn magics and have a cutie mark where your good at." Rarity replied her daughter.

Oh, so unicorns have to be trained as magicians to find their special talent now? Way to set the bar, ya hypocrite.

"Well Mom I'm good at writing fics I even read it to your customers and they said it was very good and said I could be a writer,

Oh, yes, yes, you're a very good writer.

plus I think the ponies there will make fun of me!"

What? Who would make fun of you for your terrible grammar? Those scoundrels!

I don't even know why haven't you got your cutie mark of writing fics

If that's her special talent, why are you sending her to school?

maybe it's not your real talent yet

Because real talent doesn't happen until you reach a certain age.

and tell the teacher if the ponies were bullying

Someone go get Meeester. He's not that busy.

ok Starshine be good and don't let them see your flank

My blank flank brings all the colts to the yard and they're like, "Oh. How depressing."

she saw all of them having a cutie marks

She's literally the only pony in her entire class without a cutie mark. Wow, that's surprising.

she saw her classmates laughing at her

How dare they laugh at the autist. That's just not okay in today's society!

Ok class that wasn't funny

Thank you, mystery teacher, for standing up for her. Celestia knows she can't do it herself.

Oh Starshine! I didn't recognize you!

Her aunt has no clue who the new student is?

"hi I'm Starshine."

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"Ok class let's begin our lesson but before that I have an announcement!" Sweetie Belle said "for tomorrow we will had a big test and a special guest." Sweetie Belle smiled as heard the class gasp and started her lesson.

what
who is the guest
i must know

why are you at this school when you don't even had a cutie mark!

The same reason that he's at school for having shitty grammar.

"Stop laughing!" cried Starshine as she covered her ear and started to cry.

Only one ear, though.

The mare walk to Starshine and look at her worriedly she lend her hoof "here let me help you." said the mare as she smiled.

Do we have a romance tag?
We do not have a romance tag!
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You better fix this to have a romance tag and make it mature-sex and put in some hot lesbian action. Your readers demand it.

"Go away! I don't need your help!"

Wow. Such edge.

as she stared at Starshine

If this doesn't get them in the mood, I don't know what will.

"y-you won't h-hurt me?"

If only this was stallion x stallion.

"F-Friend?" Starshine raise an eyebrow.

Ah, and the autist runs across a word unfamiliar to her.

"you know your the first friend I ever had."

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"You wrote fanfics? oh how I love to read fanfics!"

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"Well my Mom said I got this cutie mark when I was born she said that I glowed bright just as the sky's light." Skylight replied.

Literally, from the moment she was born, Skylight has had her cutie mark. Shit.

"Wow that's pretty for a Cutie Mark and she's right you do glow like the sky's light." Starshine smiled at Skylight.

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Then the bell rang

"Ha! you can't even do a telportation! no wonder you don't have a Cutie Mark." mock one of Starshine's classmate.

I know, right? Some mary sue she's turning out to be.

Then Starshine let out the spell and suddenly she vanish nowhere to seen.

That's the mary sue we've been waiting for!

as she rub the dusted off her coats

I love this line. This is exquisitely crafted.

"the names Fritter what brings ya here?" said Fritter as she lend a hoof at Starshine.

Oh, see, I was about to point out that Applejack may be uneducated, but she's not autistic. It appears Fritter, on the other hoof, is probably the spawn of Applejack and Big Macintosh. Poor Fritter.

"Fritter who r ya talking too?" said across them as it came closer.
"Oh aunt Applebloom,

Stop right there.

Does Apple Bloom speak in text message now?

"hmm.. is ya teacher Sweetie Belle?" Applebloom smirks at Starshine.

Not only does Apple Bloom now speak in text message, she also has clairvoyance. That explains the cutie mark just being a huge eye.

"Hphf!" snorted one of the class "how do you expect us to believe that?" It said as all the class agreed.

Every. Last. One.

"Look! you broke the teacher!"

Oh? I thought only a stallion could do that.
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"I got A!"

Got a what?

"Wow! that was high!"

An A+ is high? What kind of grading system do they run in Soviet Equestria?

"Yeah, at first I thought I can't do it and you hating me."

Very true, she would have hated you if you couldn't do it.

"Oh Star I would never ever do that to my best friend!"

What a liar.

I will be there to support you!

Actually, they're in different classes. Skylight will be nowhere near.

"You too! and don't forget the fics!"

Let's hope she writes a Starshine x Skylight fic tonight and brings it tomorrow. Maybe that sexy mare friend of hers will get the picture.

"Wow darling that was amazing I knew you could do it I am so proud of you!"

My first question would have been, "Wait... my autistic daughter can do magic?" We all know how uncommon that is.

Okay, review time!

This goes leaps and bounds into disability awareness. It shows that even an autistic pony like Starshine can still manage to survive in modern society, albeit with some huge struggles. This is probably the most believable story of an autistic pony that I've ever read. Props to you for being able to bring this character to life, czaert234. I look forward to seeing her future struggles with her disability and how she manages to overcome these limitations in the future.

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