Sombra's influence was dispelled upon the returning days of the Crystal Empire, but only his essence. Far be it from him to give up after only one attempt. If the straight approach would not work, then by another mean.
He'll just waltz in as himself.
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Well this looks interesting enough to keep an eye on.
A few things to fix/think about though:
I'm kind of uncomfortable with Rarity lying to Twilight about where they're going. She may not be the element of honesty, but it still doesn't seem right to me.
Plus I think that she would have told her friends that she's been working with the Diamond Dogs sometime over the past three years. Maybe at first she would have kept it a secret, if she thought they would stop her or something (and even that is a bit of a stretch, I think). But why didn't she tell them after a few months of peacefully working together? And the whole setup only works if this is the first time Rarity has taken Spike digging for gems since the Diamond Dog incident three years ago. And while that is possible, especially if she's had the Diamond Dogs to help, it doesn't explain why she chose the bring Spike along this time but never before. Unless she's suddenly decided that she wants some Sparity shipping.
I believe you mean Radiance.
I find it hard to believe that Spike and Rarity haven't picked up on the Somber/Sombra connection. It's kind of really obvious, especially since he's told them that he was a prince of the Crystal Empire.
Somber really doesn't act someone's who's lost his memories. He acts more like someone doing a really bad job of pretending he's lost his memories. I suppose that might be your intent, but if not, you might want to change things.
In fact, with how fast Somber seems to have regained his memories, what's the point of having him lose them in the first place (other than his memories of his time as Sombra, obviously he still needs to be missing those)? The only thing that his brief lapse in memory seems to have accomplished is telling us that his siblings look suspiciously like Cadance and Shining Armor. But even that could probably still be brought up with his memories intact, if it is important.
4231930
I think he could go about this two ways:
1, he could do sombra pretending to have lost his memories in another bid to claim the crystal empire.
or 2, he could go all ace attorney on this and somehow prove that the so far unnamed brother impersonated sombra because he was next in line for the throne and magicked him through time and memory wiped him so he wouldn't get in the way.
Witness statement: "If king sombra did indeed travel through time, there would be a record of it!"
Present: History Book
"Objection! This history book contains no mention of king sombra travelling through time..."
Witness: "Which is what I am trying to-"
"Hold it! It DOES, however, record the disappearance of king sombra's younger brother! Now tell me, witness. The throne would have been sombra's anyway so..."
*Close up animation*
"What reason would king sombra have to make his younger brother disappear!?"
Witness statement later in the trial: "Time travel didn't exist 1000 years ago"
Grand Grimoire: Time Travel
"Objection! The time travel spell was invented by starswirl the bearded 1500 years ago! Your argument is invalid!"
Witness: Time travel spells only work temporarily
Lawyer: How do you mean, exactly?
Witness: After a certain amount of time has passed after casting the spell, the caster is sent back to where they came from.
Co-counsel (Twilight): It's true, I've tried it myself.
Lawyer: Your honor! The defense requests that this last statement be added to the witness' testimony!
Witness statement: As time passes, the caster will be sent back to the time they came from.
Grand Grimoire: Time Travel
"Objection! In the grand grimoire, it clearly states that if the spell is cast on another, the time it takes for them to be pulled back is increased! If enough power is put into the spell, the effect lasts indefinitely! The fact that the defendant is still here confirms that he was in fact NOT the caster!
Witness: Well then, if that is indeed true then there's something you still have to prove. How did they acquire this additional power?
Present: Crystal Heart
"Take That! The crystal heart is an incredible source of power. If the caster was using it to amplify his own magical power, then casting the spell would be easy!"
Prostecutor: "Objection! The crystal heart's purpose is to amplify positive emotions and use them to repel evil. The heart could not have been used in this scenario!
Judge: I hate to say it, but that is correct...unless you have evidence to disprove the prosecution's claim?
Grand Grimoire: Dark Magic
"Take That! There are many qualities that are exclusive to dark magic...one of which is the ability to "corrupt that which is pure". I believe that dark magic could have been used to corrupt the crystal heart!"
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...did i go too far with that?
PLEASE CONTINUE THIS AMAZING PEICE OF WORK!
I like where you're going with the story, but you seriously need to find a proofreader before you go forward with the rest of it.
Well if Sombra does regain his memories I'll enjoy seeing what happens. I am so reading this!
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here. And if you need a prereader/editor for this story, I'd be happy to help.
So when's the next chapter come out?
I'm doing this story by myself without anyone to really bounce any ideas around with and I am really new to this writing community, so any help would be very much appreciated.
As for a next chapter, this is really written in spurs of the moment, as chapter 3 was at the end of the Sharla Mane part right after chapter 2, but you can see the upload date distance. My goal is to have another chapter up every month at least.
Edit: and we can see how well that's gone
If Somber Tones was voiced, what would he sound like?
Is Rarity going to end up with Sombra?
Are you using the Tale of ones Shadow back story for Sombra in this story?
Glad to see you back.Can't wait to see what you do next.
I find it actually pretty neat that Rarity managed to bargain with the Diamond Dogs over gem-mining, some of the gems less desirable in return for her using her magic to make art out of some of them. I could feasibly even see it as an episode, given the whole 'friendship' theme of the show, making peace between two groups that have had an antagonistic relationship in the past. However, I would expect that she would tell at least somepony else other than Spike several years after the case, in the event some less scrupulous Dog decided to kidnap her again. I also notice the 'Tom' and 'Riddle' of course, being a HP reference :)
'Somber' is obviously Sombra. I wonder if he had a genuine memory loss as a result of losing most of his body outside of his one horn-tip, if it's a magical memory loss that he induced in order to fool both himself and others, or if he's faking the whole thing.
So Rarity and Spike pretty much leave Somber alone with Twilight for a little bit, without anypony mentioning that he appears to be over a thousand years displayed out of time? That's liable to lead to some misunderstandings.
Sharla Mane, eh? Sounds a rather lot like a French King Charlemagne
Right at the end of the scene between Twilight and Rarity, you may want to consider editing it a little bit. I understood after Somber's scene that it was Rarity who he was pining after, given that she was the first pony he met after waking up and talking with her in the mines, but Twilight's thoughts right near the end of the chapter are confusing, so you can't tell if she's referring to herself or Rarity there.
The first half of the chapter needs a lot of editing work done. I see multiple instances of the wrong word being used, or a few spelling mistakes.
I notice that Spike used his fire breath on the scroll he wrote up to jot down Somber's dream. Did that maybe get sent to Princess Luna to investigate, or just some sort of repository he has elsewhere?
That happened
So now Somber's met 4/6 of the Mane 6. No doubt Pinkie will be Pinkie, but I wonder what Rainbow Dash will be like.
Eh, could still be that somepony left out their documentation. Just because it's claimed that everybody didn doesn't really mean they absolutely did.
But Twilight! The love of a good mare can surely redeem him!
Seems like Sombra is playing a pretty long game here.
That said, the show REALLY skimmed over why Cadance and Shining Armor were apparently the best solution to rule the Crystal Empire, and the politics of it (apparently one of the books say something about Cadance being descended from Crystal Ponies). Sure, kid's show and everything, but there's material to be mined there for potential fanfics.
Why was this cancelled?