Mark Stevens was just a normal, single, unemployed guy living in Columbus Ohio. He was living a dull life of consumerism, until one day, he finds a strange crystal outside in the park.
Now, he finds himself in world of talking ponies and magical creatures, with himself turned into a pony.
Now, with the help of his new equine friends in Ponyville, Mark must try to adjust to his new life as one of them. All while dealing with monsters of every type, ranging from timberwolfs to even a draconequess of chaos! But as he tries to find away back home, he feels the presence of something dark watching him.
Chapters (23)
Nice start so far. Interested to see where this is going.
huehuehuehue
It's been almost three months--are you planning on continuing this? Or should I go find another HiE story to read?
(Pretty decent start, btw.) 
Looking good so far. Cautiously optimistic
Whos pet rock is it now? dammit is it you tom?
well i hope i become more brony soon...
"And the weather, sun and moon move all by themselfs!" Exclaimed Rainbow Jack, clearly shocked by the news.
Lol
Whoops! damn typos. Thanks for pointing that out, I was tired when I finished the chapter.
So there going to be romance with applejack?
Maybe.....the jury is still out on that one. Truth be told, I was think about a romance with either AJ, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie or Twilight. If he Tried to get with Rarity, Spike wouldn't be happy with that. And Discord would be jealous if he tries to go after Fluttershy.
So only time will tell who the luck mare will be.
I seen a lot of paring with Twilight,Rarity,RainBow Dask ect.. but few with Applejack.
MY CABBAGES!!!
Definitely a good story so far.
Just don't ruin by having him master his powers super quick and then become the average, boring goody two shoes hero. So I rate this 8 out of 10 moustaches
Is there going to be a side ship with Discord and Fluttershy?
For the most part. I mean, they are close friends, and he does stay with her in his free time. So....
If I have this story go the way I have planed out so far, Mark & discord might butt heads over Fluttershy. No promises, but wait and see.
The chicken eggs we eat aren't 'unborn', they are unfertilized. There is no life in them. They are a shell within which life can develop, but since they haven't been fertilized (via chicken sex) they will never have life develop within them.
... Joor meys hmph Yol zeymah tol pruzah...TAFIIR
if anyone wants to read this comment go on Skyrim dovah tounge hehe
inthe dark?| in the dark?
"You blinding the poor guy!"| blinded
There was Also Applejack| self explanatory
helped defeated| helped defeat
"Think you." Ditzy replied.| I think you meant "Thank you"
being a young single mother.| Need a coma between young and single due to both describing mother
"I won't lie, it hasn't been easy Dinky all by myself."| I'm going to assume you meant to put raising before Dinky.
Just a few of the mistakes I found along with some other capitalization mistakes in a few of the names and with solo I's.
Sorry if this makes me look like a nit picky asshole but I feel that sometime these little things can take away from the whole experience.
Meant with love, not hate,
Aerigiim
love the last part
Its a good story... But you are not very good at Zecora... Still she is a hard one to produice dialog for....
Sweet Celestia! Thanks for the point out, Aerigrim, I didn't relize how many little things I messed.
That's what I get for trying to rush out a story without proofreading it first. I'll try to be more careful in the future. And if not, you can always tell me what I messed. Fan help is nice from time to time.
Are sisters are safe because of you, after all." Rarity said.
Our (First Are is Our)
Trying to safe the girls
Save
It's be fun
It'll
The pleased look that Twilight and Spike gave me a gave me a much needed boost of confidence
Gave me a needs deleted, You have one to many.
Thanks for both the heads up on the mistakes, PinkiePiefox. It's easy to let the little things like that slip by the cracks, and I'm glad you guys let me know when you spot them. Anyway, I hope you like the story so far.
Edits needed done on Chapter 9
"I should finish up her on the stall...."
her = here
I took it AJ do this often.
??? Don't do?
"But they went my fault!" Ditzy proclaimed.
went = weren't
my second girlfriend went out with me on a beat
beat = bet
when she ditched my at the fair grounds to hang with her ex
my = me
"Muffins areready!"
(space)
Swwetie Bell said.
Sweetie Belle
At first I thought was the type of cut you'd think
cut = Cute
"It's you're surprise patry." She stated, rolling her eyes. "Can't you tell?"
Party
"I'm no hero..." I muttered. I could my cheeks becoming hot
The word "Feel" needs placed between could and my.
but where he has been during this whole time?"
It should be "Where has he been"
[ hr ] (Without Spaces makes the line above.)
This is a good way to make Page Brakes. You can use this when changing from one thing to the next. Thus as when he was starting to dance and then you jumped forwards to when he was talking to derpy in chapter 9
"Oh come on. I bet you'll like it." Sweetie Bell said
Not a big thing. But Sweetie Belle has an "e" at the end.
Fluttershy said, blushing as she she watch Mark
One to many "She"
"What?" Dask asked
Dash
Chapter 9 edits to look into...
Thanks again for your help, PinkiePiefox. I really need to comb the chapter better before finishing it. Anyway, thank you again and I hope you read future chapters.
so what are the races in earth in goats and stuff? and was this like 20 min ago?
to answer your questions, I did finish this chapter over an hour ago (by the time this is read, it'll be longer.), and to answer the other question...... i don't know. The reason the charater was saying that was because he he nervous and was talking out his ass to advoid Granny learning about earth. But, if I could make ref-er-rinse:
Ponies: Americians
Griffions: Asians
Zebras: Africans
Minotaurs: Russians
goats: whatever you want it to be.
Just to point it out, I'm not being Racist, just saying everyone is different. But that doesn't make then bad! So again, don't get mad at this part. The character, and me, was just having a brain fart.
"Uuhhhggh! Come on your on you stupid knot!" I cursed, as I tried to my CMC cape around my neck.
Come on yout on you stupid knot! I do not understand.
As I tried to my CMC cape around my neck,
Tried to tie?
That cool.
that's
"We ever cleaned the place up for you. I hope you'll like it."
ever = even
smirk whlie she used a cloth to wipe the sweat off her forehead.
while
Sweetie Bell
Belle
Chapter 10 Edits
4445055 foreshadowing
Can destroy a golem
Can't tie a knot
Here are some edits that need to be looked into...
There did not seam to be as meny this chapter...
******
I mean, when That thing was on top of me
no caps on "That"
Almost like she had just solved the world's greatest mystery so something
so = or
unlocking your magic it to use your emotions
it = "is"
I just could believe Twilight
"not" needs added between could and believe
my raw talent made me
talent "and" made
crying out!
"loud" at end
aslo = also
*****
aproving = approving
*****
Seriously, how do the keep doing that?!
how does he keep doing that?!
OR
how do they keep doing that?!
*****
Hell, so would have I
(This just sounds off to me, But it could just be me.)
*****
ove = over
*****
Mark just just sat there watching them
to many just
*****
fave = have
*****
liitle = little
****
They stopped as the looked around in the darkness, trying to find their employer.
the = they
****
fromthe
Needs to be a space here...
*****
Ctrl + F will open a little window at the top of the screen, Place words copyed from this list into it to find swiftly. It helps with finding and editing.
On another note... Great chapter! I liked it! I cant wait to see what happens with the assassins! And Gilda. And the crazyness that is bound to come with it!
4523885 also needs to watch the use of was and were
It's cool. I'm glad you're liking it so far. The he/she thing is taken care of, and I didn't see any other misspells. As for Discord, the part where he said he was going to see Celestia wasn't wasted words. I plan to have it lead to something. As far as Fluttershy and the hut goes..... yeah. I had more planned, but just got a tad lazy.
"Are you alright?" Applebloom asked her.
"I'm... fine." Scootaloo weakly said.
"So, how was it?" Scootaloo asked.
I'm confused as to why Scootaloo is talking to herself here...
The full segment...
"Are you alright?" Applebloom asked her.
"I'm... fine." Scootaloo weakly said.
"So, how was it?" Scootaloo asked.
"It's dizzying.... but fun." She answered with a smile.
"I'm next!" Applebloom called out.
"No way, I'm next." Sweetie Belle said.
AJ and Mark? Hell yeah!
Oooo this is goooooooddd!!!!
You are totally making this worth reading! And its awesome! I love it! Its down right exciting and awesome to read. I can hardly wait to see what happens next! Also, for the shipping thing, I honestly dont mind it! Then again I dont mind ships if done right, down right enjoy them honestly!
Id like to see how the others act to him cause I know at least derpy and fluttershy like him so, I would wait or at least let it go on and not rush anything especially relationships between mark and the others, they don't all have to be the same but it would be nice to flush out the others a little more other than that great job so far :3
what is a cat and a birds enemy....Water?
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/nope-cat.jpg
The FiMFiction board needs more straight AJ romance I support your ship
Needs light editing. And he stopped panicking pretty fast.
DBZ Abridged. I saw the referense.
Love it! It was excitement all of the way though!
"The were dumb enough to get involved,
(The needs changed to They)
Besides that I didn't see anything but epic battle and awesomeness!!!
I hate it when supposed heroes acting "High-moral" they usually got beat the living shit out of them for distractions from moral debates....despite the fact that the antagonists deserve it....and said antagonists will likely repeat commiting crime when got off the hook.
I prefer the sort of Dark hero that will do what they need to do and do it quick, no distraction.
just saying.
The part with Dash & Gilda will be told in better detail in the biginning of the next chapter. In other words, it was just a taste of honey!