What the fuck happened to Pony ville????

This is quite interesting... I shall look forward to more.

387941

Seems like some sort of zombie-like apocalypse. Tracking.

Tracking

I like that you didn't go right for shock value and kill all but one of the mane 6.

COMING SOON TO YOUR NEAREST FIMFICTION...

I AM LEGEND

STARTING: Twilight Sparkle

....

really cool i do want to see what u did with spike did he go crazy, stay same or does he do like nonstop pushups to protect rarity and the rest

This is sad but cool

Now only one question remains... Cupcakes anyone?

DIS IZ WUNDERBAR!!!
I can't wait to read more.

Wow, very intriguing. Curious to see where this goes.

this is awsome i love your work keep it coming

Holy jeebus....they're like....giant evil moths attracted to the light or something
WTF is going on here, man?!
This is some brilliant stuff, and reading it at 2 AM makes it all that much creepier!
MORE!!
*faves*

i like it, it comes of as kind of a 28 weeks later spinoff.... BUT WITH PONIES

fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/165/3/d/what_about_zombie_ponies__by_johnjoseco-d3ivaee.jpg

Sex tag. Gore tag. Okay, I'm in.

Whoa...what the hell happened here? *Tracked*
Looking forward to more, more, more. :D

Have a good one.

In the town of the forsaken, nopony can hear you scream.

Good start, will be keeping track of this one

Applejack, keeping ponyville safe.
Its interestring story and I wona see where it goes.

>Sex
>Gore

WE RIDE!!!! *plops my ass down and reads*

Easily deserves a Meshuggah playlist as background music.
For the time being, please enjoy the following album for your viewing pleasure.

Meshuggah - Catch Thirtythree

for once, it's the non-necroses that hide in the shadows. walk forever in the shadows, my brother.
this would be bad, if then the Alan wake shadows came in.

My god this is well written.

Oh my Celestia, this seems so cool. I am SO going to read all these chapters and the sequel even though i havent slept and it is 6:00 am. I say fuck sleep this seems like a badass story. I mean really, i have never ever thought of the topic of like, reverseing everything where the survivors are in the dark and the monsters are in the light. that just seems so badass!! but enough writing i need to go read the next part...and the next part...and the next part.

interesting.. i'll continue reading.

I found that first part rather unnerving... more than I should have to be honest.

Still reading...

Is it bad that I read part 2 first?

Here's something for the atmosphere. Try reading this while listening to Night came to us or Night alone by Northaunt. Or some other Dark Ambient tracks. It ups the spooky factor.

There's an exquisite amount of atmosphere in this fic, something that sorely lacks from almost every horror story on this site. There's no shock, even though there will be gore, I'm sure. It's very tense, and I like that.

But to critique, you are putting far too much into every paragraph.

Think of a chapter as if it's a great big steak. If you try eating a steak all at once, you'll choke. So what you do is chop it up into nice little edible bites.

To properly "cut up" your paragraphs, you need to know where one idea ends and another begins. Let's take the following passage from your story:

He was lucky enough to have gotten inside with Carrot Top and Big Macintosh, even Rarity of all ponies when the event started. She'd know when he was there, watching the library and looking for her, for at 2:00 P.M. every afternoon, a white slip of paper would slip through the boards cracks. It was their little signal that let the other know that they were watching, and when another slip of paper fell through, it meant they were leaving the window. It made Spike and Twilight feel...better, sitting at their windows and looking over towards one another. Hope is what kept the two smiling, knowing that even though a small street cut them off from one another, they were still alive, and they still loved each other. She smiled, staring over towards the darkened windows, wondering if her little Spike was having good dreams instead of the nightmares that plagued her every night. Just as she began to wonder what kind of dream he was having, a dark shadow flew past the front of her window, making her leap back and fall on her flank. She pressed a hoof firmly against her mouth, cutting off the gasp that had nearly escaped her. She should have expected it, she told herself. She knew that the streets were usually empty at night, that the ones outside were drawn to the houses with the lights turned on...the lights somepony forgot to turn off in their hurry to flee Ponyville before the quarantine.

TOO LONG DIDN'T READ.

But what happens if we analyze how many ideas are in this one paragraph?
1>We learn that Spike is safe and communicates with Twilight
2>A hope spot
3>A jump scare
As you can see, there are three ideas in this single paragraph. So in reality, this one paragraph should really be three paragraphs. Observe:

He was lucky enough to have gotten inside with Carrot Top and Big Macintosh, even Rarity of all ponies when the event started. She'd know when he was there, watching the library and looking for her, for at 2:00 P.M. every afternoon, a white slip of paper would slip through the boards cracks. It was their little signal that let the other know that they were watching, and when another slip of paper fell through, it meant they were leaving the window. It made Spike and Twilight feel...better, sitting at their windows and looking over towards one another.

Hope is what kept the two smiling, knowing that even though a small street cut them off from one another, they were still alive, and they still loved each other. She smiled, staring over towards the darkened windows, wondering if her little Spike was having good dreams instead of the nightmares that plagued her every night. Just as she began to wonder what kind of dream he was having, a dark shadow flew past the front of her window, making her leap back and fall on her flank.

She pressed a hoof firmly against her mouth, cutting off the gasp that had nearly escaped her. She should have expected it, she told herself. She knew that the streets were usually empty at night, that the ones outside were drawn to the houses with the lights turned on...the lights somepony forgot to turn off in their hurry to flee Ponyville before the quarantine.

MUCH easier on the eyes. Now that each idea is separated into proper paragraphs, its readability increases.

But wait! I don't think it's immersive enough. There's something missing...
...Of course. I forgot that jump scares are different in written word. You gotta try to capture a sudden jolt like this by using your sentences and paragraphs smartly. So while our paragraphs above are more readable, we can try to separate them a little more to increase an effective jump scare.

He was lucky enough to have gotten inside with Carrot Top and Big Macintosh, even Rarity of all ponies when the event started. She'd know when he was there, watching the library and looking for her, for at 2:00 P.M. every afternoon, a white slip of paper would slip through the boards cracks. It was their little signal that let the other know that they were watching, and when another slip of paper fell through, it meant they were leaving the window. It made Spike and Twilight feel...better, sitting at their windows and looking over towards one another.

Hope is what kept the two smiling, knowing that even though a small street cut them off from one another, they were still alive, and they still loved each other. She smiled, staring over towards the darkened windows, wondering if her little Spike was having good dreams instead of the nightmares that plagued her every night.

Just as she began to wonder what kind of dream he was having, a dark shadow flew past the front of her window, making her leap back and fall on her flank.

She pressed a hoof firmly against her mouth, cutting off the gasp that had nearly escaped her. She should have expected it, she told herself. She knew that the streets were usually empty at night, that the ones outside were drawn to the houses with the lights turned on...the lights somepony forgot to turn off in their hurry to flee Ponyville before the quarantine.

By making paragraph 2's last sentence into its own paragraph, we increase the effectiveness of the jump scare.
Remember that there are all kinds of ways to convey the feeling of horror in a work. I hope that the rest of this fanfic keeps up with the creepy vibe you got going on so far. Moustache for you.

Saw never go outside in the feature box so I decided to give the first story a go. Lookin good so far.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_pea.png

am re-reading seriously one of the best fanfcis iv ever read

The first chapter was a pretty much perfect introduction to the story, hooking and building the mystery.

After that it just kinda went downhill at an almost consistent rate... It never became outright bad or painful to read but by the halfway point it really just was a consistent "seen that before, a billion times". I reall think the first chapter diserved a much better mystery and story.

Anyway, I didnt vote up or down, though I went into it planning to vote up because i was the fist story I read in months.

Zombies. One of the only things left on planet earth that I'm still afraid of.
So naturally, I'm gonna read this.

This unclearness of the monsters' identity is making me flash back to stories by H.P. Lovecraft.

We keep telling those imbeciles that the dark doesn't sting bad for long! Fools!!

This is my kind of apocalypse story. Not the "oh, let's go kill shit" kind, but the "oh, let's lock ourselves inside because in reality we're all massive pussies" kind. This is what we would all actually do, no matter what we tell ourselves.

Like, fave, and three moustaches.

Man, this story seems really good so far, I like the fact that the monsters are afraid of the dark, rather than the light like in so many other apocalyptic stories. It changes things around.

finally got around to reading thisI like how the monsters are afraid of the dark.I wonder how many of the ponies are currently alive.