I am the very first one , first brony in my family and i am quiet the author and i feel like this is my one and only shot at becoming something of myself as i begin my fan fiction, and stories for all
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In the midst of the night a explosion goes off, making all electronics unutterably destroyed and almost useless, and creatures stalking the woods at night, the resistance must find a way to repel the enemies or get killed in the process.
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Um. What's this about?
4243630 This is about a struggle of the ponies who are outnumbered by aliens (Humans) and are pinned in their bunker, and in order to escape they must try and fight their way out while not dying, and it is told by the perspective of the soon to be hero Jack.
4243642 Ok. Who is this Jack? 1 of your OC's?
4243642
Why would humans invade?
What do they gain?
Can you give me a good reason for their invasion beyond: Humans are Bastards?
4243658 That explosion that they heard was a paradox happening, that explosion ripped a hole in balance and opened a gate between our realm and theirs, and they see us differently then we see them.
4243665
That made absolutely no sense at all.
You do know what a paradox is, right?
How would us invading them equal us invading them?
4243665
they see us differently then we see them? Well, That may be true. But not every human is evil. Even ponies too.
4243683
4243681 Could you people please wait till I finish the other chapters to give away any more info, I am trying to keep the suspense up but you people keep demanding answers when I am trying to piece together this story and then you can judge or demand afterwards and I know that everyone sees things differently, I am going to get to that soon.
4243696
I'm giving away info? You know, you're not obligated to respond to us, right?
I'm just trying to clarify about whether or not this is an HaB fic. I don't waste time with HaB fics. Unless they have a grey area.
4243704 I am sorry, but I am just trying to keep my audience entertained and hope they enjoy this book, and hope they like it, and I am sorry if I am sending the wrong message or seem angry, I am just trying to keep up with this and my class right now.
4243696 Ok
4243755
4243642
Better way to explain it:
Humanity was invaded by Aliens (like in war of the worlds), they survived but a large fear built within their race and they see any other races as threats thus they lead a genocidal war against anything that isn't human. (Like Daleks)
4243816 I see
Yea no, if these humans are like the ones I described they would have armor that can deflect a handgun, the way you described them was just stupid. . .
Take my advice, rewrite everything! Change human weaponry from using bullets to energy weapons, like Plasma or Lasers. Armor can deflect most pony weapons like pistols to rifles. Only cannons have enough power to atleast damage their infantry. Basic human tanks are four legged machines that fire pure energy weapons as well as a few turrets on them. If one were shot by a 150mm cannon in the main body it would only recoil in effect but if it is shot in the joints you may beable to stop it but the weapons would still be operational. Fighters are drones, they are not piloted, this would make sense because the US has been planing to replace piloted fighters by remote control drones.
They didn't come from another dimension, they came from the stars.
4249424
They are not going to be from the stars, They are normal and body armor is not bulletproof, It merely reduces the chance of a bullet penetrating, a 9mm can go through a military vest, I am using true facts, not fake ones.
4255631
Besides you are the author yeah?
Sounds like a better plan to me.
4256024
Yes I am the author of this book.
4256047
Sorry I meant that question as encouragement. It sounded like theArchAngel wanted to write your fic for you.
4256066
Ohhh XD, how did you like the story so far?
4256075 I thought it was ok. It needs some work though with layout and grammar. Mostly punctuation errors. But the premise seems good.
The only thing I would have is a bit more detail of what is gong on. The story pretty much sprang right into the action and I was left wondering who they all were.
4256106
That is. What I'm looking for, honesty, not criticism, and I will try tomorrow, but I must sleep, sunburnt bad.
4255631
` Well the Paradox thing was a stupid remark. Why in the hell would we attack them for this so called 'Paradox?'
4256989
Captain anus I am not going to reply, the audience will have to wait till I release chapter 2, and as you said I don't have to reply.
4257503
Then why did you reply?
4267840
I replied to stand up for myself and show who is the one writing this book, ME, not YOU, and that means I make the storyline and the characters, and not YOU because there is no Y,O or U in the word ME.
Sorry for the delay of chapter 3 everyone
Been a little busy at school :l