It's a normal day for every pony out there Ponyville, one minute they're enjoying themself and the next...chaos is hunting them one by one. Six best friends are separated abruptly, finding each other thrown in a tricky situation. New feelings arise while they adventure on a new quest.
Featuring my first story Forbidden Honesty, I hope you all enjoy it as much as I am and any comments, ideas and your point of view could help me.
7-11-16: As of right now, this story is under rewrite, I repeat Rewrite, thank you, have a wonderful day.
Just In case you are wondering the song is called.I'll wrap you in rainbows.
This is pretty good for a the first time.
Thanks to all of those who took their time to read my first chapter.
4170111 thanks
4170137 well come!
I feel there is some real promise here in your story. I can't wait to see the struggle they both go through trying to come to terms with their own feelings. I hope we get to see why they AJ fell for Spike and what it is about her that Spike likes about her.
hey music4ever nice OC
Very well , for nao it was a little about aj crush con spike , i hopebto read more bout this c:
pretty good story, and if I may give some criticism: it was kinda hard to tell when they were talking and not... try to work on your quotation marks and have things like songs and important thoughts in a different style (like songs in italics and important thoughts in bold)
4171978 thanks for the help
Then, the hell came.
4170314 thanks yours is cool too
TO EVERYONE
I'm going to be posting a new chapter each week most likely on TUESDAY or WEDNESDAY
4174149 thats not my oc
4176677 it's still cool
Nice chap !!
Nice !!!! Keep it up !! :D
Your writing is good but if you need an editor i can do it for you if you want
4252281 I appreciate the help but someone already sent me the request but don't worry I'll keep doing more stories I'm sure you could help me later.
4253492
It never hurts to accept multiple proofreaders. You never know when somebody is going to be unavailable.
4273964 true, thanks for the advice
Please continue with this story! I it!
Niceeeeee
4318496 don't worry I won't leave the story till it's finished
4333297 thank you girl!
I support this story and ah hope you continue with it! I it! Please send me a message when you do the next chapter!
4346286 thanks for your support!
ohh its me again! very interesting chapter! liked when Applejack hugged Spike ! keep up the good work! doesnt matter if you dont upload in a few days! ill contain my anxiousness!
4391096 Thanks for your support, I'm glad you liked my story
I'm soooooooooooooooo excited Can't wait for more!
Yay new chapter! I liked it but I think you should fix your writing before publishing it; also if you need someone to edit your story , you can ask me! ! Ohh and great chapter! Greetings from your friend, Sugarcube_scoots!
4442899 If I ever need help I'll tell thanks for asking and as always thanks for reading.
~Music4ever
Dammit, Discord, did you learn NOTHING after what happened with Tirek!?
NO! AJ don't give up, Spike loves you!
Never give up on love, Applejack! yay! No more school, which means more chapters! I'm loving this!
Next Chapter; Please!! exellent
I'm with Applejack in this story? Sweet!
Sugarcube, ah'm right here....
I know.
Aura Zero's favorite ship! I know he will read this!
hey! I thought he liked Me and Spike together the most?
Sorry Sweetie! You're second with Spilight and Flutterspike right with ya!
.........
...........
Swag
I loved that lullaby! it was so cute!
Ah love this whole chapter. However, am ah really that bad at hiding mah feelings?
Nope, you're worse!
Gee thanks Pinkie...
No problemo!
Anyways, back to the story, I noticed quite a few capitalization errors and incorrect punctuation. Also, you seemed to leave out quotations for when somepony is talking. It seems like you don't have an editor for this story.
That's obvious!
At least her spelling is top notch. Can't say the same for you rainbow.
.......
Hey, Aura is a good editor. maybe you should hire him!
Excellent idea Spike, however it really depends if the author would like that.
Let's ask her then! Would ya miss author?
4594322 Sorry, already got an editor. But, there's always next time! Thanks for asking though.
P.S. Thanks for telling me there were errors on chapter one.
...... I cant continue this right now I'm sorry. There is too many grammatical errors and it really interrupts the flow of it.
We highly suggest you get an editor for this. Aura would be happy to help if you ask.
Yeah he makes good stories and like to help edit other stories. He has done a few already.
Also:
This part kinda bothered me and it looked so forced. It was like she knew she was gonna die or something.
Me and Twi are bro and sis in this story huh? I'm okay with that, as long as she doesn't act like my mom.
I wouldn't do that...
Awesomeeeeeeeee C:
Perhaps Teleportation would be better here.
Yeah most unicorns would rather teleport than lift themselves across
Gah, you're really squeezing this love thing dry aren't you?
forget this! Applejack, I love you.
Ah love you too Spike!
And I love cupcakes!
Pinkie, you are so random.
On another note, Fluttercord huh? Not so much a fan of that pairing, but will still read regardless.
So, about that kiss...
Later sugarcube. Ah aint forgotten.
Sweet!
4616889 by the end of the story you'll be a fluttercord fan, I just know it!
Applepike is best ship in the fanon
Fluttercord i a good ship, but I will always been a Pinkiecord