Howdy there.
Name's Applejack, and I like to consider myself a simple mare. I had a job on a rock farm, and before that, I was a simple dress-maker. I ain't bein' humble, but those days, nothin' too out of the ordinary really happened to me.
Then I met Earth Pony. She came out of the blue, but she was the sort of pony who could drag you along on anythin'. Lucky for me, I wanted to go, least at first. After that... well, I'll let you read those parts.
This story was written as a commission for someone who wishes to remain anonymous. He or she also provided the cover art, so credit goes goes to the anonymous commissioner of this story.
Chapters (10)
I've read this, and all it does is confuse me. What's up with the AU everything?
Interesting way to post a story. Also, an interesting story in itself, and the fact that you can practically taste the atmosphere, and that it feels like I'm actually listening to AJ talk, makes me like it even more. Hope to read more like it!
Absolutely wonderful charecter voice. I love it.
I'm really enjoying this so far. It's an odd AU, but I'm eager to find out what has happened to these characters who are, despite the circumstances, still the characters we know and love.
I had a couple of notes on the first google doc chapter, in case you're still picking out the nits:
"And you, too Applejack. I have some water on the stove if you’re interested in tea, and help yourself to whatever’s in the cupboard. It’s been far too long!” - to me this implies that Rarity knew Applejack in the past, but Applejack's hesitancy a few lines down implies the opposite.
"Rarity took the opportunity to magic a sponge into the room and mop up the spilled tea—her tea kettle had taken the brunt of Earth Pony’s pile drive." - Despite the name, kettles are solely for boiling water; I don't know anyone who BREWS tea in one! I have heard of metal teapots, but Rarity strikes me as more of a fancy-tea-set kind of gal
I've not yet read the rest, but I look forward to it greatly!
4314328
I did not quite know that. My "teakettle" is a Pyrex 16-oz measuring cup I put in the microwave, steep tea in, and drink from.
4314344
I've clearly been in England too long - even before I bought an electric kettle, I used a saucepan on the stove!
I like this. I like everything about this. The prose style, the dialogue, the seamless world-building. It's awesome. I saw that some reviewers were confused by the AU, but it seems pretty straightforward to me: The mane 6 (except Twilight) have their destinies screwed up (presumably by the spell from Magical Mystery Cure, but maybe not, maybe this is an entirely different universe from cannon), Applejack is working on a rock farm, there is a serial killer on the loose, a pony (who seems to be an earth pony version of Fluttershy, but I could be wrong) has come to investigate the most recent murder and she befriends Applejack. Nothing too complicated there.
Oh! It finally clicked for me, and now the story is extremely interesting! Can't wait to see more and how/if they figure out what happened with Twilight. (I'm trying to comment without outright stating spoilers lol.) I'm a tad worried about who White Ribbon may be now though...
4315152 Pretty sure 'earth pony' is Rainbow Dash.
Is this....the universe that takes place when Twilight does NOT find a way to return her friends' Cutie Marks? I'm quite interested in reading the conclusion.
Welp, now I get what happened. Poor Twily :c
4316340 I've gone back, and your totally right. It's blatantly Rainbow Dash, based off the description of coat color.
When I read the words white ribbon the first thing I thought of was Rarity. That said I hope it isn't her.
I'm leaning towards 64 not actually being gone. No evidence of course, but I have a hunch the mane 6 will be together once more, but that would require 64 to be staged.
"After all, I had spent the day prior in two towns"
I'm a bit confused. What was the other town?
Well shit, that was one hell of a ride. Thank god FiM's just a kid's cartoon where this shit can't happen.
Well, I wasn't expecting the rest of the story to arrive in one big rush, but I wasn't mistaken where its enjoyability was concerned.
I'm a bit disappointed by the killer's identity, but otherwise it's a nice little noir mystery.
Kinda feel like this could use an epilogue.
I can't find anything negative to say. Besides a few grammar-ish - perfect. Favorite.
This part of the story is too intense for anyone to post a comment.
This is a sign of an engaging story.
Ann lies.
Signed,
The Other One
They aren't going to enjoy what they find on the film.
Ann lies.
Signed,
The Other One.
That last part was perhaps the most frightening part. I really should have, but I didn't think she'd be in the theater with them. Talk about jump scare, that giggle scared the frank earnestly out of me!
Ann lies.
Signed,
The Other One
So.... what's Discord been doing all this time?
This does come after his reformation episode, after all.
Well that was pointlessly depressing.
4348260
Smoking trees off in Zihuatanejo with Tim Robbins?
I honestly don't know; the story didn't really call for it. For all I know, Celestia could have re-imprisoned him in stone, since she forgot that he'd been rehabilitated.
Oh man... This is getting good.
When I first read the description to this story, I didn't expect any of this at all. I loved the character interactions and the way you wrote Applejack as the narrator. I don't think I got bored of it at all during the entire course of it. That scene in Rarity's house had me on edge, and I really felt for the characters there. My only complaint is that the reveal felt really sudden, like it should've happened later on. But overall, the good far outweighs any bad I could find in here.
This was a beautiful example of alternate universe done right. Just like with the rest of your stuff, I don't know why this isn't more well-known; that was a great read.
Hey, I wrote a review for this story. In case you are interested, it can be found here.
Overall, I felt this was a very surprising story, and certainly one of the best interpretations of a Dark AU that I can remember. Can't say I loved every second of it, but the things you did right, you did so well to make up for the weaker points. Fantastic work.
Well, that now has an entirely different connotation than I've thought of before.
Right there, the very first line, that's where you had me hooked. Now I have to read on and find out what's going on. Now that's good storytelling.
Stories like this with memories of lives that could (or should) have been always make me cry.
I'm glad they decided to undergo the process anyway, despite those misgivings, even though I'm now imagining them making a white ribbon suicide pact down the line.
Dude we get it already you hate pinkamena Diane pie. Why write subtile hatefics about her? I know someone paid you to do this one but jeez why pick her? Because you have a seething hatred for a pink cartoon horse. You'd do anything to villianized her.
7121183
Why ask stupid questions if you already know the answer?
Go troll someone who cares.
This story was mostly good but the ending seemed incredibly wishy-washy. Like "yeah no you don't get to see what the acutal resolution to this is, you just get to imagine"
You can has review!
Gosh, I really just wish there was some more to go with this story. It was a thrilling, unexpected ride!
8863259
This feels like a pinkie hate fic
9415389
If that's what you think, you must not have read the story.
9415394
I skimmed it. If I had actually read it I would know it’s about the consequences of switching cutie marks.
9415398
Yeah, so not a hatefic.
Heh, Earth Pony WOULD get a spell that's unstable and probably stress it to the point of it ending early. Leastwise that's what I figure happened. A mini mystery within a mystery!