Rarity, who has lived in Ponyville the longest out of all the Element-Bearers, tells them the tale of the three legendary figures that rise on Nightmare Night. Twilight Sparkle imagines that there may be a magically-natural explanation for the consistent sightings on a particular night. She proposes they investigate this. And in the process uncovers shocking secrets long buried and seemingly meant to be consigned to the mists of history. And between the mystery, the real story of a doomed romance, two figures coming together centuries before they should even have been mutually aware of one another.
Happy Nightmare Night and Happy Halloween all!
(A note on the title: It's two things. First of all, I am Hispanic and from Southern California, so it's in my cultural wheelhouse. The iconography and feel appeal to me. Secondly, the cover image inspired the story, in the main, and I thank Bronystories for sending it to me. The story is not, itself, a Hispanic tale.)
No sabía que tenías ascendencia hispana.
It's going to have to wait a bit, but SQUEE, I love me some Dia de los Muertos too.
3326008
Was that Google Translate? According to my father that usage of "ascendencia" is non-standard and he's the one with a degree in Spanish. Also, I don't speak Spanish well just borderline competently, good enough for Spanish 102 at best.
But yes, though I show off a cosmopolitan education and a focus on classic English literature and a Francophile name I'm Hispanic, mostly a Mestizo: Mexican, Spanish, Comanche, German and Chinese.
3326886
I need to hop down to the Northgate market and get my calaveras. I never eat them but they look cool.
3327688 No, el español es mi lengua materna. "Ascendencia" se refiere a los miembros mayores del árbol genealógico (padres, abuelos, etc.). Si tu padre es alemán, por ejemplo, tienes ascendencia alemana. Por el contrario, tus hijos son tu descendencia. Writing in Spanish for the lulz.
heard that there. heard that. She's not a hick. Try watching something like Hart of Dixie if you can, different area but it's got a decent spread of eloquence.
memory form. memory from.
Using Daring Do, well played Twilight.
Ah ain't sayin'. Ah'm not sayin'. Ain't is an isn't/aren't variant primarily. It can be used for am not, but in that context it comes out too rough.
That man. That mane.
3328852
I appreciate the effort. It is not easy putting in the accented letters. I'm just glad I could understand what you said. Reading Spanish is mostly okay though some native speakers can really throw me off. But my crafting of the language blows.
3331773
You seem to have a saddle birr about my AJ. I know it's a bit rough but I really find the accent is one reason I like writing for her. She's fun
But you're right. She's no hick. She's a fallen Faulknerian belle who learned how to deal, a deb that's never coming out and is fine with it.
I'll correct that later today. A wifi day for my birthday. Huzzah!
3332326
families that. families.
Don't diss cosplay AJ.
I fix what needs to be fixed and your southern accents tend to be way too hickish. Hopefully, like with your dialogue quotation and punctuation, one day I'll get it through and I won't need to correct all the time.
This story is getting interesting, I wait with bated breath.
And finally, happy birthday!
3333212
Thank you, thank you. This story took a little while to percolate. I hope the end result is enjoyable.
3334653
Your stories usually are.
cornuscripts?
you somepony. you, somepony.
Ze plot thickens.
3343070
"Manuscript" comes from manus- hand, and ponies lackthat. Cornus is horn, meaning a cornuscript is a work written by horn. I need to check on the word for mouth, for the word for a work made by non-unicorns.
3346662
Okay, was looking all over to find something, but the internet was barren.
Cue the soap opera organ.
3363766
Heh. I hope that's not saying it's too cliche. The tropes and features are supposed to be part of the charm.
someone cased. someone cared.
I though that. I think that.
And no one was useful... Screw you pussy townsfolk, and you more Peony, maybe you could have prevented this!
3364432
I just enjoy music cues immensely.
while lamb coat. white lab coat.
stallion form. stallion from.
Fiend. Should it arise, Fiend should it arise,
luuquine. Awkward word when lupine would still fit.
is finish up. is finishing up.
jes. jus'. Say it out loud.
fare. fair.
i'd. I'd.
bunches. punches.
to his the. to hit the.
I would say that since baron and father are being referred to as titles in this case, they should be capitalized.
not longer. no longer.
loved at lease. loved at least. I'd say burn to that, but I'm not sure it would have the proper effect.
paused in er. she paused in her.
my magnum opus. Formatting freaked out here.
some of the hard. some of the hurt. ?
spirits remained. spirits regained.
Now you see what an archaeologist really does. It ain't so glamorous, is it Dash?
You know, if anypony could talk something to death, I'd go to Twi first, but Righteous Indignation Rarity felt great. May that filth burn in Pony Hell!
3392196
Rarity is pulling double duty here. She's doing her usual "a proper lady can stand up for herself" bit, but also showing that learning destroys fear and can give power if that learning connects to your indignation. It's not quite but somewhat similar to the climax of "The name of the Rose." The actual climax, about laughter destroying fear, would be Pinkie's department.
Speaking of movie references how did you like that totally Equestrianized species-tweaked reference to "Arashi no yoru ni"?
3392999
Well, since I had no clue either existed under you mentioned them and I subsequently looked them up, it's hard to say.
3393188
I watch odd and obscure things, I think that has come through.
But I'm surprised you don't know "One stormy night." It's fairly notable on the Internet.
3393400
Eh, I'm not much of a meme person. Hell, it was only last week that I finally got informed on what the 'Dayum, dayum, dayum' thing is and I've had a guildy saying that shit for a long time.
3396512
I'm not much of a meme fellow either, so I still don't know about that 'dayum' thing.
Maybe I should say it was less memetic and more popular among anime fans because of its interesting premise, good writing and quality visuals, plus because there was some ambiguity about Mei's gender and the level of affection actually being shown it could be looked on as yaoi by folks who like that.
I also just realized, in some configurations, a wolf/sheep would be a cloven-hoofed poodle.
This has been a delightful and rather timely story. You give a good detail about the time before Ponyville, and the characters are well thought out. Someday I'm gonna have to stop being lazy, and write about Jasper's early years.
3421065
You've got a good start. It's going to be a good one.
the books is. the book is. Nearly typo free.
I'd have given Baron von Cockbite's bones to Cerberus to gnaw on, but that's probably too extreme for Celestia. Another well crafted story from you, good sir.
3421065
Hey look, you aren't dead!
3424402
They never say where it's at, for obvious reasons. I had the idea that it was near the passage to Tartarus, where no one ever goes. His bones can languish with the Discordians, separatists and rare criminals like rapists, murderers and, yes, bigots. How appropriate, he's two of those.
Kipa is very not dead. He's starting a new story about the history of Jasper. While Heliotrope's story was never told, Jasper was the one who actually told Canterlot scientists about Diamond Dogs.
3424968
Kip did say as much in his comment. I just hope it's readable, as his stuff can get super rough.
3427059
I'm helping him with it, doing edits and suggestions.
3428355
Yay, readable then.
Now this... This is beautiful. :D
So I take it you're ignoring Family Appreciation Day?
This is a reference to something.
There's an instance of "heliotrope", uncapitalized, by "bloody lips." :B Figured you'd want to clean that up.
This gets a tad rah-rah at the end, with Rarity's speech to the Fiend, but otherwise, I liked this story.
3438443
My fanon was established and built on the canon established in Winter Wrap-Up. The idea that Ponyville has been there for centuries, and all the ones remaining were earth ponies with the odd pegasus.
Glad you like the lines. Things used to be a bit more mare-centered but things weren't so bad.
3438690
The famous Thanksgiving episode of "WKRP in Cinncinati", which tends to make the list as one of the top funniest sitcom episodes (along with the Mary Tyler Moore episode "The Death of Chuckles the Clown.")
That's Rarity being Rarity. She is a proper lady, which includes changing her mind when evidence presents itself. And being Rarity she goes full-out to the hilt. But I think you're the one who dislikes Rarity so I realize the climax lacks some impact.
Gracias por leyendo esto historia, amigo! Hablo en serio.
Pinkie x twilight? *shrug. Bit of a left fielder for me but ok.
So far decent story.
3758985
"Left field" to you, but normal to readers of other stories of mine. ("Elements of Discord" started the chain. There are others, like "Who we are is who we used to be" and "Twinkle, Pinkle, My Little Star." "Twixinkilda is a collection of Trixda and Twinkie stories.)
You hardly mentioned Appledash and Flarity.
3759372
Thanks for giving me the other stories. Ill definitely look into them. I didnt mention appledash because i had been previously indulged in a shipping if them. (The only thing better than flying)
And while i do more strongly believe in the pairing of dash and fluttershy, as was presented in "to shy for a rainbow", i dont have any thing to really cause me to question "flarity". The "twinkie" was cheifley brought up on shock value.
On a different note. Nice story. I enjoyed reading it and found the plot was well carried out. Some spelling/grammar issues but tis to be expected. Good story.
3759648
I've been at this for a while. Most of my stories occupy the same canon.
Now as for the errors, as you've likely seen in the comments I have some help in that regard but things still creep through.
I like it, was undestable, a bit heavy for my eyes (I kind of tired), Your head canon is that Nightmare night is on the begining of autum? I can see it!
Do you know that the Dia de los muertos is a celebracion where the decease comes to home and celebrate with the livings? I like the name of the story.
Can you tell me, from wich fic comes the couples? I know the stories are related, I want to know from where.
3911684
I don't celebrate Día de los Muertos like I should but I always make sure to buy my calaveras. Being in San Diego makes that easy.
The ships are all over: The Mane Six started in my very first story, "The Elements of Discord." Same with the CMCs, with some more polish on the Zecorabloom ship in "Hatred would be better..." For Doctor Soft Heart and Labradorite (and how the pets fit in) see "The Accident." That should be the big ones. Hope that helps.
3912788 sweet, I check it out, one my eyes rest!
3913307
Yay! Thank you.
Of course there's a logical explanation. The Great Pumpkin is logical, right?
Wonderful story and I love Twilight's letter at the end. We do fear the unknown.
Ok... This story made me cry.
SO SAD AND SWEET!
9641407
I'm glad the story could reach you that way.
*Alt chapter ending, just before Rarity motioned to Soft and Labradorite*
"Look around you! Look at all those gathered here, celebrating, laughing, playing, loving! Ponies, donkeys, Diamond Dogs- even Changelings and dragons!" Rarity threw her hooves wide, before staring the Fiend straight in the eyes.
"Tell me, oh mighty Baron, how they could be mere beasts!? TELL ME!!!"
As the Fiend took in the frightened crowd, his expression slowly changed from one of proud anger to horrible realization.
"What... have I done? Sweet Celestia, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" His flames roared back to life,, this time a cool blue with greif.
"That creature- Heliotrope- was just trying to talk to me! He was seeking my blessing to wed Larkspur because he knew how much it meant to her! AND I KILLED HIM FOR IT!!! I promised to look after my little flower and I KILLED HER!!!"
He collapsed to the ground, sobbing. "That Dog never was a was a monster... I was... Forgive me... Larkspur..."
For a moment, all of Ponyville was silent. Then Rarity spoke again. "We can't turn back time and undo what happened..." She pulled the Fiend to his hooves and looked towards the hill where Larkspur was buried. "But we can make one thing right."
The ghost stood in shock for a second, then looked back to see AJ and Dash holding the sacks of bones, and the Stonebeast, who looked at him with pity.
"Yes." He said finally.
"Let's make things right."
All of Ponyville slowly proceeded to the open gravesite, led by Dash, AJ, Rarity, the Fiend, and the Stonebeast. Twilight and Rarity gently laid the bones of Heliotrope in Larkspur's grave, placing them so the two lovers embraced.
A skeletal figure in the tattered remains of a Luna costume emerged from the shadows, gazing at the Stonebeast. No words were spoken. They weren't needed. The two simply embraced each other, their haunting guises falling away to reveal their restored forms, kissing passionately to the cheers of the crowd.
The Fiend slowly approached the couple. "Father..." Larkspur's ghost said softly.
"Larkspur... I stole the one you loved away from you... I drove you away with my own foolishness... I couldn't even keep the promise I made you..." Tears of flame began to fall from his eyes.
"I'm sorry... Oh my dear I am so, so sorry. I could apologize for the next thousand years and it would never be enough, but please... please... both of you... forgive me..."
It was Heliotrope who spoke first. "I forgive you." He hugged the flaming unicorn.
"And I as well." Larkspur did the same.
The ash fell from the Fiend, revealing the Baron August Bearing, weeping as he hugged his daughter and her lover. The Baron glanced up at Rarity as light gathered around the three. "Thank you... all of you."
And in a flash, they where gone.
(Sorry. It just had to come out or I would explode!)
9642195
Sorry, I'm no Toby Fox. I'm opposed to omniforgivenessism. I'm on the side of the Nuremburg tribunals and think Japan should have had them too. Should have had worse ones for what they did in Manchuria and to American troops. But you have your vision and that's nice.