• Member Since 3rd Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 1st, 2023

Diceman


Comments ( 36 )

Hope yall don't judge me to hard on my first try at fic writing.:derpytongue2:

Well , at least a few liked it. I'm planning a follow up to this but kinds short on ideas. Twifire maybe?:rainbowhuh:

A slow start, and I saw the word "arm" in there, but a good end.

387700

yeah I kinda did a all nighter on that one. Dyslexia started seriously kicking in from 5-9k words area and editing was a nightmare in a half. Still not bad for no pre-readers or editors.

390613

Thank you. The follow up is on its way ^^:pinkiehappy:

This is hard to read.

394546

Suggest improvements if you would please? :rainbowhuh:

396729

reread that part, the page number changed when it was taken away from her. :pinkiehappy:

420110

Glad you enjoyed it :pinkiehappy: hope you enjoy my next fic which is based on this but with Soarin/Dash

Dude, you oughta write a bonus chapter for this story. A chapter that tells us what happens between Twilight and Spitfire.

447201

I thought about it but "Soaring hearts" is awaiting approval which contains RD/Soarin/lyra/spitfire orgy. Its kinda long at 17kish words but it is the follow up to this. Lets just leave Twifire / firesparkle to the imagination eh?

ps: don't forget to follow or ya might miss the follow up :p

Huh, that's too bad. Oh well, the images of Twilight and Spitfire are MUCH better when you leave it to the imagination. There's no limits.

CLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOPCLOP
:rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild:

Here was me before I read this chapter: :eeyup:
Now here is me through the hole in the wall: :moustache:

447215

I took your request to heart, SpitSparkle is on its way :p

I vote for more SparkleFire.
We need more of that shipping NOW!

464000

It's on the way. It's about 3/4 done atm

Good for your first fic. Dialogue seems a little dry and sometimes corny. Also it makes it easier for the reader if you give each segment of dialogue it's own line. Anyways, this is definitely better than most people's first fics, keep it up.
Also, love the pairing choice

She remembered that most species hunt by feeling out moving prey and tracking them via the sound of muscles moving.

:ajbemused:

Makes the first two chapters completely useless to be honest. Cut those out and you have a nice clopfic. :rainbowkiss:

Here comes the shitstorm...

Oh, and you really need an proofreader/editor for your sentence structure. I'd offer to help, but I am so swamped right now I don't even get time to write my own stories...

Hmmm:

"The fern had an orange sporange."

Start rhyming Lyra, and that's without using one of the several half-rhymes.

(Sporange is an alternate form of sporangium.)

The newborn chilver had fur of silver.

(A chilver is a female lamb.)

1086760

Huh didn't think of either of those. Is chilver another language or old english?

1088127

Regular English, just rare.

Amusingly, you can actually justify Zecora knowing both: A sporange is part of a fern's reproductive systems, thus something she would know about. Meanwhile, in Equestria it would be likely for many people to know the various terms for ungulates of given species, age and sex.

I enjoyed this!
Good, logical set up, funny, easy to believe story. Great for 4 hours of work, bro!
If you plan on writing more clops, this obviously has TONS of room to expand on (friendly reminder).

A question for other readers, does anyone else imagine these scenes with humanized characters? or at least anthro?

um the pages flipped 4 in the book hope it works better then my alchemy experiments last one messed royally

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