My time in Ponyville

by booscus

Chapter 4

My house was in sight when I heard the laughter again. I turned around as fast as I could and saw a little filly. I haven’t met her yet. She had her front legs up like she was about to scare me. She groaned loudly when I saw her. I chuckled to myself.

She reminded me of somepony. I looked at her closely and realized that she looked at lot like Rainbow Dash; except her coat was bright orange and she had a pretty purple mane. She held her hoof out and said “Hi, my name is Scootaloo. Who are you?”

I took her hoof and shook it. “I'm Scout. What are you doing out this late, kid?”

“Well I saw you walking around and thought it might be a good opportunity to scare somepony”

“Ha, I think you should get going home. Don’t you think?”

“Nah, I couldn’t sleep. Why aren’t YOU at home?”

“I couldn’t sleep either” I smiled a little hoping she would believe me. She nodded.

“So where did you come from, Scout?” I stopped in my tracks.

“Um… I can’t really remember.” I started walking again, rattling my brain for an answer. She stood in front of me, blocking my path.

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“What do you mean you ‘can’t remember’?”

“It means I can’t remember, but anyways, where do you live kid? I’ll take you home.”

“Um…well…there’s this box that I sleep in most of the time.” Her face turned bright red.

“A box. You live in a box? Well I have a guest bedroom if you’d like to stay with me for a while.”

“Really?” Her eyes widened. “I would love to! I mean if that’s cool with you” She said regaining her composure.

“Yeah, sure. C’mon” I unfurled my wings and jumped trying to gain air quickly. She followed right behind. I tilted my left wing down slightly and turned 90 degrees to the left. We flew until we got to my house. I opened the door and showed her around.

She walked into the guest bedroom and flopped on the bed stretching out her wings and legs. Her breathing slowed and she snored slightly. I never knew anybody could fall asleep that fast.

I walked out of the room and closed the door behind me. I went back outside and started flying again. I flew up really high, until I could see all of Ponyville. I looked down. “I can do this” I said to myself. I closed my wings and faced down, not unlike a diver.

I saw the ground getting closer, closer, closer. I opened my wings at the last second and soared up again until I was back on my lawn. I looked off at the horizon and saw an orange glow off in the distance.

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The sun hadn’t risen yet, but this was different. I flew in the general direction that I saw it coming from. As I got closer, my suspicions were confirmed. Somepony’s house was on fire. There were no fire trucks there and there was a blue pony waving his arms out of the window, yelling for help. I flew up to the burning building shielding my face from the heat.

“Hey, Kid! Kid, HELP!” I looked around and there was still nopony there. I flew up to the window and he climbed on my back. I struggled to keep from crashing to the ground, but I managed to slowly descend.

“Kid, my wife and kids are still in there. You have to help them, please.” I nodded and flew into the window that I just saved the pony from. I stepped on the floor and I fell through to the bottom floor. I maneuvered through fallen support beams and debris. I heard faint crying coming from an upstairs room. I flew up as fast as I could, smashing through the floor again.

I saw a mare shielding her small colt and filly with her arms. They all looked terrified. I noticed the mother had wings but neither of the kids did. I put the colt and filly on my back and told the mother to follow. We flew back to the window that I came from. I handed the mother her kids as she flew out of the window. Right when I handed off the second child, a piece of ceiling fell and landed on me.

I smashed through the floor; the large piece of wood was on my wing and back, pinning me down. I started coughing from all the ash that was falling around me. I tried to pry the piece of wood off of me. *Cough, cough* I croaked out “help! Help… *Cough* help.” I held my elbow to my nose to hope it would help make it easier to breathe. It didn’t help at all.

“Help…somepony…anypony” *cough, cough, cough* I heard the faint sound of sirens through the crackling of the fire. He heard a loud creaking noise and looked up. I saw a piece of support beam falling. It came crashing down on my head.

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When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed. Fluttershy, Scootaloo, and the family I saved were all sitting next to my bed looking at me. I coughed a few more times, clearing some of the smoke out of my lungs. There was a painful throbbing in my head and wing. There was also a burning feeling in my chest. A few awkward seconds passed before I finally managed to croak out “How long have I been out?” this was immediately followed by more coughing.

Scootaloo said “Only a couple of hours. The firepony that carried you out said that you were pinned under a bunch of wood.”

I looked to my side and saw a cup of water on the end table. I picked it up and drank it fast. It made the burning feeling subside drastically. The family I saved looked like they were doing ok. They thanked me numerous times before leaving. Fluttershy hadn’t said a word the entire time I had been awake. She had a worried look glued to her face. Scootaloo kept asking me questions about it.

“How did you know to go save them?”

“I don’t really remember.”

“Well what do you remember?”

“Um…I remember there was a fire and I saved that family that was here but that’s about it.”

“AW, BO-RING!”

“Sorry I couldn’t remember more. I guess a hit to the head will do that to a pony.”

Fluttershy piped in. “You don’t have to be sorry, Scout. It’s not your fault. If anything you should get an award for saving them. I'm sure that with time, you will remember.” I looked at her and smiled. There was a knock at the door and a nurse came in. Scout, you have another visitor.

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The beautiful Rarity and daring Rainbow Dash walked into the room. Rarity looked at my face and without saying a word, took a wet nap out of her saddle bag and started wiping my face off. Rainbow Dash looked at my busted wing. “Whoa, kid, looks like you won’t be flying for a while.” I could see all the soot that Rarity had wiped off on the little napkin. “My goodness, Scout, How in Equestria could somepony get this dirty.”

“Fire” I coughed some more.

“What could you possibly be doing around fire? I'm sure you know how dangerous that is.”

Scootaloo thankfully spoke for me so I didn’t have to. “For your information Rarity, he just saved a family from their house burning down.”

“Oh, well then I apologize for my rude actions.” Rarity’s face turned slightly red. I nodded, accepting her apology. Just then the same nurse from earlier came in. “Okay guys, I'm sorry, but visitor time is over.” The nurse turned to me. “Scout, your mom and sister can stay.” She walked out before I could say anything. I looked at Fluttershy and Scootaloo and we all laughed a little.

“You guys don’t have to stay…unless you want to.”

“Scout, I wouldn’t dream of leaving you here by yourself. I even left Angel in charge just so I could stay longer.”

“Yeah, same here, Scout. I mean it’s the least I can do for you letting me stay at your house.” I smiled.

“Thank you guys that means a lot to me.” Rainbow Dash cleared her throat. “Sorry Dash.” The nurse came back in. “Okay guys, I'm afraid time’s up. Say your goodbyes” I said bye to Rainbow and Rarity and the nurse led them out of the room.

I looked around the room for a clock. I found one next to the door. It said was almost 5 in the afternoon. Even though I just woke up, I was still tired. There was a knock at the door and before waiting for a response, the doctor walked in. He was a royal blue colored unicorn. He had a clipboard floating in front of him. He was flipping through the pages.

“So, Scout, I’ve got good news and I've got bad news.

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To Be Continued...

Comments

[thegoodcritic]

Again, good but would be better without all the 'I this' and 'I that' that slows the pace of the scenario's down. Half of the I's used are unneeded btw.

Also, the scenario's seem a little too unrealistic. The characters are jumping into things or letting things slip without giving them too much thought, as if they don't care how it could lead to something bad. For example: The part where Scout invites Scootaloo to live with him could have fit better simply by scoots asking "are you sure?" somewhere in her questions for living with him.

I'm not saying your story's bad but, it could become so much more with better detail.

Keep at it!

[booscus]

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I appreciate the tips a lot. i'm actually writing another story and i think that this will help out.
-Booscus Out