Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Sisters and Brothers, Aunts and Uncles, Grandmas and Grandpas, Dude and Dudets, I present to you: My User!
Princess Twilight is in her library and she finds a spell called Destinies For A Day. Twilight finds no harm in the spell...once she casted it of corse. It turns out that nothing happened, until she sees her friends. They have all become alicorns!!! Twilight is very confused as she flips through the book that she found the spell in. The next morning they are all back to normal, but to Twilight's surprise, they want to be alicorns again! (Yes even Rainbow Dash)
Page generated in 0.073 seconds
Total duration
988 users online
348,754 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
The writing could be more in depth, but the plot of the story was really nice!
It was a good story, a few spelling mistakes here and there and it could be a bit longer and more in depth but otherwise really good.
If you need an editor I'd be glad to help.
I will keep that in mind
Thank-you
I liked the concept. It felt rushed. Not that I mind but if you could make their hardships more known and follow the 6 around and see how they are dealing with things.
Twilight actually writes a letter to Celestia!
This whole story would be nicer if you just made it a one-shot, compiled it all into one. The chapters are awfully short.
And that's were the problem lies. You see, apart from the grammar mistakes, the idea was interesting. And could have been more expanded upon!
1,686 words is not a lot, and a story like this could have used more. Like 5,000 words, for example. Or split it into chapters, but made them longer. Now, I am not saying that you can't write a good story with only that many words. You can, but that's a different case.
One of the reasons MLP is good, is because the characters all act and react in different ways. So maybe you could show that they weren't all that happy. (For example, if Rarity would have to stay like that forever, she'd have to remake all her dresses. And she could be worried about that.)
It would be nice if you could actually show us their full day with their new bodies. Like, what would be the reaction of the other ponies in Ponyville? Or their families? Their other friends?
Maybe one of them would have a problem with controlling their wings? Or they would scratch their head, only to feel a horn sticking on top of it?
You should just really take your time in writing and publishing stories. Take time to show the story unfolding. It's better to publish a story later, if it means that other people and you will enjoy it more.
I know how bad I have been doing and I not saying that's what you said or mean.
I am known for my very short stories, maybe I can update these stories, make them better and longer, you know.
I don't take offense to anything that you said.
I actually find these kind of comments to be quite helpful.
I am glad that you tell me where the mistakes are so that I can fix them.
I had had an idea to show a new story and what the scheme of it is, and also get some advice on parts of the story that I will put in.
After reading this comment please look at my newest Blog to see what I am saying.
Thanks for the help.
4188130
Well, I'm glad that you understand! I myself am still new to writing.
I'm glad you can take something out of my comments. You know, people learn all their life. It's important to listen to others, but also listen to yourself... But I'm getting off topic.
Shorts stories are fine! In fact, they're awesome! But it really depends on what you want to show. For example, you wouldn't want to write an epic adventure dark war fanfic with a romance subplot in 600 words! But that doesn't mean you can't write such short stories.
Ever heard of flash-fiction?
A bit short, but nice.
4321235
Thank you
How did you get your story out with only 580 words and below?!?!?!?!
4745650
I didn't I had to wright the first two chapters before I could publish it.
4755619 REALLY THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO!!?!?!?!!?!? Crud me..............
Thanks
4756413
Your Welcome
Even though "The Mane 6 turns into alicorns" plot has been done a lot since Magical Mystery Cure, I still quite enjoy them. But with this story, however, could have been fleshed out more so that it could be more interesting. I know that the spell is called "Destinies for a Day", but maybe you could've had multiple chapters that described everypony's day as an alicorn.
5352070
I have been thinking about editing some of my chapters for my shorter stories...
So, I might come back and add some more later when I'm not working on SO MUCH SCHOOLWORK!!! (The horror
)
5352985
I feel you, man/madam.
It's actually a great story. Many people might complain about it being short, but I like short chapters. It had some spelling errors and stuff but that's fine. It has a great plot and all. I actually like it.
6928831 Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!