One night, after returning from her first and worst date ever, Twilight Sparkle decides to put dating on the very bottom of her 'what-to-do' list. Upon hearing that, Spike strongly disagrees and decides to change her mind with a little more than few words.
Will he manage to rekindle the yearning for romance in his long life best friend or will he fail? Read to find out!
Many thanks to: YourNeighborhoodAlicorn and MythrillMoth for pointing out some of the most glaring mistakes which helped this story become even better! Kudos to both of you, I'll reflect on that information and try to become even better at writing!
A/N: The original idea of this story as well as the art for cover belong to Lisboa. If you wish to thank someone then please also thank him and not only me because I have only 'colored the sketch with more words!' Also be sure to check out that amazing gallery on deviantart where you can witness the art created By Lisboa!
4109099 You have more trust and confidence in my fics that I have myself
I hope this story will be to your liking 
I saw this art long time ago. That was sweet. WIll read this extended version with pleasure!
4109225 I really hope you'll like it, I tried to do my best without changing the original dialogue script from Lisboa's deviantart page under this submission
You know this got me thinking, the show should have a flashback episode with Spike and Twilight growing up together. On to the fic; I read the original and I love the idea of Spike treating Twilight out to a date. I also think your words definitely do Libosa's art justice. Seriously Niezd, don't ever change. Liked and faved.
4109336 That episode would certainly be perfect, who knows maybe I'll create a story like that in the future!
Aye, Lisboa saw this fic and liked it so I guess it's not that bad, sadly I can't promise I'll never change as I do intend to change...to be even better writer!
You never let me down good sir kudos to you and your writing skills. it seems I can learn from your works
good story
4109369 Thanks, glad to hear it as I had a lot of pressure to make this story right
This was a great Spike x Twilight story. It showed just how well they know each other, how they are not just their best friends but their partner, their other side, ether of them could survive without the other. I would love to see more about these two. A follow up about their new romance (think about all the sweet moments going from best friends and roommate to lovers living together lol), there is also the moment of telling their friends and families lol. I want to see your Spike and Twilight relationship grow into something more.
Really cute story, like it
4109379 Telling families huh? Then let's hope Spike is prepared for this:
s25.postimg.org/v5jdgo0a7/R_OM_T_C_PE.jpg
This is actually a little spoiler for my newest story that I have currently in workshop...it will be glorious
4109384 Glad to hear it! I strive to please
4109392 Cool can't wait for that new story now (even more so if that is directed at Spike lol) It will be funny seeing Shinning going from the cool big brother to being the Step brother looking out for his sis. It will prob end with him getting into a fight to have to convince him he love Twi lol.
4109406 It will be a while before I can post that story though as it is quite...unique and unlike any other story on this site. You'll see when I finish (hopefully soon)
A few grammar errors, but I'm not really that good at correcting them.
Always love a good Spilight story and this one is going on my fav list. Great Job!
4109431 Always glad to read that people enjoy a good Spilight!
Why are there two Twilight tags?
4109342 If you write it, that would be amazing! There just aren't enough Spilight stories where they're young.
4109530 Because no rules explain why there should be two tags for writers to use. I mean, some people search for Twilight stories using only one tag and thus miss half of the content uploaded. I don't know who was the genius that decided that Twilicorn is a different character from Twilight Sparkle but that is really annoying.
I updated my dA pic to include this beauty! Can't thank ya enough.
This needs to be proofread and edited. I caught way too many errors in just the first two paragraphs. I'm guessing English isn't your first language?
Anyway, much as I want to read it, I can't get past the grammatical problems.
4109879 Sorry to hear it I wish I was a better writer to avoid those, and yep English isn't my native. Finding editors and proof readers isn't exactly easy on this site (tried it many times without much success, groups included and only grew frustrated...). My only editor is currently busy with another story of mine and I simply can't bury him with work
4109830 Nice! And thank YOU for creating such awesome art, hope to see more of Twispike awesomness from you in the future!
4109896 Thought so. The specific errors I saw are indicative of a writer struggling with English.
Once your editor gets hold of this and cleans it up, I'll come back and give it a read. For now, I'll just mark it Read Later and wait.
4109961 Dunno if I'm struggling with English so much... maybe with well written grammar forms as I self learned the language but this site certainly has seen worse than my works
. Besides I'm learning by writing now so I would gladly accept pointers if you have any.
Also, I'll let my editor know although it might take a longer while for this story to get cleaned up as there are many more in need of such editing. I'll be sure to give you heads up as soon as it is upgraded.
4109983 Well, one thing I'll give you a tip on:
You have "on/in" confusion (stars are IN the sky, not ON the sky), and I caught several instances of missing "the" syndrome. That's what tipped me off, incidentally. Non-native writers often have trouble with "the".
4109993 Ahh that would explain a lot, in my native you would say that stars are "on" the sky instead of "in" so I'll be sure to remember that and incorporate it.
Agreed with the usage of "the" and "a" those are often confused. I'll also try to keep better track on these from now on! Thanks for you input it will certainly help me improve
Didn't read the story yet. Just wanna point out unicorn Twilight and alicorn Twilight are fighting over Spike. Cause Tags.
4110054 Blame the forum administrators who obviously think that Twilicorn is not Twilight Sparkle... an impostor or different personality maybe? We know Pinkie has one. I wonder why Pinkamena isn't another tag
This is a quite nice story. Thumbs up and fav.
Another masterpiece! I loved it!
4110140 Glad you liked it, as always I'm doing my best although unless I finally master proper grammar my stories are far from being a true masterpieces they could be
4109961
Oh, I'm sorry, did I miss my cue?
Another story on the work list. Hooray!
4110165 Sorry for being so...productive above the norm of sane person. It's just that those ideas won't leave me alone unless I write them (No, I don't hear voices I just have ideas and drive to write)
4110176
Eh, productivity is good. Could you drop the story onto the Dropbox folder?
4110187 Not when it is overflowing
And eeyup, I was preparing to do it now 
You get the Spilight Shipping just right
Good Job.
4110597 Thank you for the kind words, I'm glad you have enjoyed this fic but I couldn't have done it this time without Lisboa's art that gave me inspiration when writing it
*whistles* This is a lot to go through. Minus well start now, eh?
- Add a comma before a character's name when using dialogue.
- He honestly felt* for her.
- You're using repitition, "Twilight groaned* in defeat, her hoof touching against her forehead in defeat."
- Twilight groaned* in defeat
- Trying to keep a* straight face
-Try rewriting it to, "Of course, being the way he is, the occasional chuckle or snicker would make itself known, but thankfully his friend didn't seem to mind."
-Twilight agreed* wholeheartedly and prepared to get up, the idea of going to sleep and putting* everything behind her seemed to be* very appealing at this point.
- Even Pinkie has a hard time trying* to make me laugh.
- Twilight scoffed*
- mind reverting to a* not so distant
- Twilight stared blankly into* nowhere in particular
- Spike should be spaced from the period.
- Spike wouldn't be able to shoot* down this question as it was the* harsh truth
- number one assistant offered his* answer
- my comprehension levels have come through*
- giving her a* clear sign
- When Spike headed out the door to her bedroom, he heard it close* behind him*, with* Twilight finally out of the picture, he moved at double* speed
- his plan was* perfect
- Being all too* happy
- from the* old gramophone
- making it look not much of a library, but more of a small antiquated restaurant.*
- filled the Golden Oaks* Library,
- Spike agreed, earning another loud snort from Twilight.
- Spike whispered*, making Twilight stare.*
- Space out Spike and the quotation mark.
- he has* everything under control as his next response came out* more relaxed
- Remove out.
- Add a period at the end of food.
- Twilight started*
- she could have wished* it to be
- while fighting her own emotional conflict within herself.*
- Remove the word even.
- Try rewriting this to, "The Twilight I know is the dorkiest and most social disabled pony I know, but she's also the smartest and is willing to take challenges and make commitments that no other pony could do."
- painted all too* clearly
- "You can't possibly now my...", what exactly were you trying to say here?
- Remove the word started. You don't 'start' grabbing a ponies hooves, you just do.
- closing the* distance
- to initiate a* slow and relaxing dance.
- Twilight disagreed* honestly
- Comma between yes and you.
- doesn't* it?
- going with all of this*
- Remove the first a before successful.
- Why would her mane fly about when she was just simply nodding? Was she doing a solo mosh-pit?
- a* nod
- Why would that be thankful for Spike? Wouldn't it be Twilight?
- Spike started*
- in the* distant past
- Fix that annoying double space between complicated and emotions.
- Spike hasn't* noticed anything.
- Spike began*
- hold it in* any longer
- That last piece of dialogue doesn't not even remotely belong there.
- Space out the quotation mark and Spike.
- lost for words before* noticing her strange behavior
- claw scratched the* back of his head
- as a* heavy blush
- unable to add any witty remark
made her even more specialas she leaned in* once again.You did say to point out flaws.
If you're in need of an editor, it's seriously not that hard to get one. There's a whole group dedicated to editors right here.
Or feel free to curse at me and hurt my feelings, that's cool. I'll at least know I tried to help.
-YNA
4110713
*salute*
4110713 You honestly have no idea how HAPPY your post makes me! I'm going to correct everything right away and take it to heart so I won't ever make such mistakes again!
4110713 Well, I'm Neizd's editor, but I didn't see this story until earlier today. I've got about 30, 000 words to go through, which is why he choose to podt it directly.
But, since you basically just did all of my work, I'll thank you for it.
4110713 When you corrected
that sentence was fine because it was
4110713 Okay all mistakes corrected, Thank you, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!THANK YOU!!! it means so much to me and I was also able to learn so much stuff from what you wrote like for example my bad habit of writing "Started Spike" instead of "Spike started" not to mention those little missing "the" or "a" it really helped out!
As for that specific group...last time I made a thread there according to their rules it got completely ignored while badly written clop fics had swarms of editors...so uh...I have mixed feelings but maybe I'll try again sometime
And then they fucked. THE END
I did enjoy this story a lot more than I thought I would at first, mainly because the dialogue is kinda choppy and weird in places. Also, something I'm not sure Alicorn pointed out, but you need to start new paragraphs for each different speaker. Every time someone new speaks you have to start a new paragraph, that way it's a lot clearer who's talking and it makes things easier to read. I will say though that the plot and general idea were very nice, and it made for a quick but enjoyable story, even in spite of anything else.
4111668 Glad to hear it, I'll certainly take those pointers into consideration. I usually either put dialogue boxes at the beginning or at the end of paragraph and their descriptions to make it a little easier to understand while trying to avoid making it sound generic like:
-Spike said and pointed at Discord hanging from the lamp
-Twilight said and scratched her...ear.
-Spike whispered before going to cry some more etc.
I'll try to think of a new way to improve and find a solution that would be more enjoyable for writers like you
4111692 Ah, I'm not quite a writer myself, more of an editor/reviewer type person, sort of a force of habit at this point. I do like seeing writers taking suggestions from their readers seriously though, a pretty good sign for the quality of your writing in my opinion.
4111705 Well, I am writing my stories for people after all, not to get famous or something so improving their quality is always my main objective. In fact I could care less about all that 'featured box' on the site. Every little scrap of information what I can do to improve is of extreme value to me
This fic was written mostly because I noticed that short little fic under one of Lisboa's artworks. His idea was great but obviously under appreciated because of lack with words. I did it mostly for him, so people can hear his idea and enjoy it just like I did when reading that short script of his
WARNING:INTENSE LEVELS OF IMMATURITY IN FOLLOWING STATEMENT.- when I open this, the title in the bar is shortened, and it says "A Date With My Ass..."
4111743 Seriously?
Now that's hilarious...and what a date it would be for Twilight since we all know she has a very nice... 
4111765 ASS IS BEST PONY! ASS X TWILIGHT 4EVER