THE BIG YELLOW ONE'S THE SUN
Now all grown up, Sweetie, Scoot and Bloom all have a chance to go to Canterlot University, courtesy of Twilight's connections and love of studying. Naturally Babs had to come along too. Of course, the girls didn't anticipate the two bullies joining them. Still, if they just sat down and studied,nothing could go wrong,right? Sure! Until they found out who their room-mates were.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Pretty good. Can't wait to read more.
I'm enjoying the concept, but you really need to put spaces after your periods and comma's. The words cluster together way to much when you don't. Good story otherwise.
You now have your first follower.
4103186 Yeah. I know I need to work on it. Ehe. I usually do, but I was rushing to get this done in time for dinner.
4103573 owo Thanks
Hmm...this story has Diamond Tiara in it...
Diamond Tiara is my favorite character...
This story has Apple Bloom as Diamond Tiara's room mate....
I really like DiamondBloom...
Will Mattricole's hopes and dreams be realized? Or will he be utterly heartbroken at lack of DiamondBloom? Find out when the author finishes this story
4147031 DiamondBloom is one of my OTPs. Expect shipping. Expect LOTS of shipping.
You have piqued my interest. Have an upvote and a favourite.
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/cea.gif
That was simply sugary sweet all over. I hope to see many updates!
Minor thing, since there is inconsistency between not spacing after a comma and stuff, be sure to space words after the end of a sentence and break like a comma or semi-colon. And break up the two paragraphs. You know put a space between "Hello, Windy." that starts the new paragraph.
And, just for helping people know whose talking since you're not using the tab to indicate new paragraphs and new speakers, do the same for each different speaker in those dialogue exchanges, adding a break between new speakers and only using the "X Pony, said." for when a new speaker comes into play.
Not needed if you have two speakers already and you mentioned who started talking first. But, you basically have everything down. Just some visual consistency for the readers to enjoy more who happen to read on smaller screens would help them and just everyone in general enjoy the story to its fullest.
So, yeah, just that. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go stuff a new heart into my chest since that adorable AB scene caused the last one to explode.
(Do hope this ends up with some ScootaBabs eventually too. ;3 Or Babspoon <3 and I'll keep a few more backup hearts for those Sweetiara moments!)
4153917 Why thank you!
4154280 This helped a lot.
I'm not all to great at writing, as you can tell, and I'm mostly writing this to help me to get better, and things like that always help me a lot, so thanks!
Also, how does everyone always know the ships included in this?
Is it really all that obvious?
a bit short, and not a whole lot of progress. May want to avoid that in later chapters.
It's a pleasure to see you haven't abandoned that story. Even though it's sort of short, I'm still glad to see the new chapter and read it right away. It's well-written. And it was a pleasure to read. Thank you very much for putting an effort to it and writing it.
4202539 As I said before, horrible writers block. I had no idea what to write, but didn't want to give up on the story so soon, and so, with difficulty, wrote this. Once I get over it, however, you can expect much more in chapters.
4202812 Why thank you! I did want to try and get something out today, if at all this week, and so this happened. It will move forward at a quicker pace later on. I promise.
4203821 I do not have a doubt ^^ Please, take your time.
I have a question...
When is the next chapter going to come out?
I like the story so far and I've been wanting to read more.
4813155
Oh! I'm terribly sorry, but I've been busy working this, and a few other stories out in my head. There'll probably be a new chapter out soon, just as soon as I'm done working out the kinks.
4814749
Sweet.
And sorry that it sounds like I'm rushing.
are you seriously one of those writers that do those way-overdone gay shippings?!
forget it. this story had a decent start, but now with all the gay shippings you just listed, just forget it.