A world of happiness filled with ponies and equines alike gradually turned into one of sadness, hopelessness, and despair.
(This story is currently under work and revision. Please excuse all current mistakes and pace of the story. Thank you. It may take a while by I will get to it.)
Update: The progress of this story is near. Their will be a rewritten version of chapter one and updating four new chapters along with it.
Crossover: Attack On Titan
Author's Note: Yeah... I've been thinking and working on this idea for a bit. So all who is reading gonna have to bear with me on the speed I upload these chapters with. Also, forgive me for the grammar mistakes. I will find an editor who would run through them and clear them up. Thank you and well hopefully this will turn out to be a story for the better of views.
About Picture: The picture is not owned by me in anyway and am I'm trying to get the permission with artist to have this picture remain for the cover art. Also, I only got this picture for the story to look cool. Contents from this picture may or may not be in the actual story. Just letting you know. If there are any grammatical mistakes don't worry it won't be for long I'm sending this to OEE, so that it doesn't remain with those mistakes for long.
love it.
I actually covered Titans in a Known World post.
they're extinct
Echo used to be my tulpa's name
I thought I'd give this a look. I'm a fan of SNK so I thought it'd be an interesting concept to tackle. But what I saw I didn't find very appealing. The pacing feels a bit rushed and there are a few grammatical errors, some of which I'm sure will be covered by other reviewers with a lot more energy to willingly scrutinize the story, as I don't feel like giving this a full look as I have other matters to attend to.
Regardless, it's an interesting concept but I feel as if it could have been executed better.
4144964 I see. I want wouldn't force you to read future chapters but if you keep your eyes on it you may find it to get better. I wanted to go for new approach in this story, trying my hand at something for a first time isn't easy but if you care to peep every so while you'll find the full execution for what I'm try to write(if I even worded that right..) As for the errors, I will definitely get it taken care off. Thanks for reading.
Hey, Fantasia Archsage! I know this guy's name.
An Attack on Titan crossover, is it? Well, I've never seen the anime, but I have played a related game and the titans are really mean.
I feel that, armed with this knowledge, I will be the most well-suited to judge this fanfic on its every minute detail!
What... does this mean?
And so, without further ado, it's time for a review, Scootareader-style!
This is a very generic intro paragraph. You need a hook to grab the reader and pull them in, and this doesn't do the job. Not well at all.
Some word processors will convert an ellipse (that's the the dippin' dots you got there) into a single character that looks like an ellipse in the word processor and even on the text side on FIMFiction, but the visual side of the text turns it into three floating dots. You need to make sure you're consistent in making them the three separate dots or the special single-character ellipse. Consistency!
Oh you did not just end a sentence with a comma.
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpjdqaTT3Y1qfph6q.gif
You're setting up the stage here. A little detail on her actions would be nice. Think Heavy Rain shower scene, but probably with less nudity... unless, of course, you're into that kind of thing.
This sounds so out of context it sent a shiver down my spine. And not in the good way.
Present tense.
Past tense. Unless she's dating Zilean or Nozdormu, I highly doubt she's this confused as to whether this is past or present.
She remarked quite recently that everypony seemed to be sleeping in that day. This sounds like a contradiction. You can explain it away by saying everypony is already at their destination and she leaves when they're all gone anyway, but the important part is to clarify it in the story.
Please tell me you already see the error I'm pointing out.
Well, there's the end of the story.
It's fine describing the giant as a giant consistently, as it makes it easier for the reader to draw the image (especially in action scenes), but using a descriptive term of "giant" when you're talking about something other than the giant just seems unimaginative.
These seem like really stupid creatures thus far. They ram their faces into things and try to eat. That's about as complicated as you've made them. I think staring vacantly would be the proper description, not giving the stink-eye at everything.
Why quickly? Wouldn't she do so cautiously?
You... you mean molars?
That is one of the most botched spellings that leads to a nonsensical mental image that I've ever seen. It made me imagine a bunch of dudes wielding hammers (a large hammer is commonly known as a maul) all chilling in the creature's mouth.
You suddenly switched back to present tense here.
Stop that. It should also be "overrun." "Overrunned" isn't a word.
Try this:
"Notify the Wonderbolts that I would like them to perform an 'extermination mission.'" The Princess's eyes narrowed. "I want them to wipe the enemy out completely."
Also, that's extremely OOC. I'd imagine she'd at least try to learn something about these giant rampaging ponies before condemning the lot of them to death. But... ah, what do I know?
All right, review time!
Your grammar is pretty bad. You need to get yourself a proofreader.
I don't think an editor is necessary, you have a great concept here and are telling it properly... the words could do with a rearrange and all, but there's no plot holes or story elements that are really lacking to speak of here.
Honestly, I somewhat enjoyed what I read. With such a weird-looking cover picture, I was hoping it'd be cringeworthy, but I came out of this feeling like I read a decent story thus far. How dare you.
Please continue, Mr. Archsage... and please get yourself a proofreader.
4147509 Yeah, I'll get one but I don't have time to edit what the proofreader says which is why I need an editor. It's not easy juggling between multiple projects at a time. I even have another chapter that comes with this story in over four thousand plus words but not enough time to check the sentences and what not. I only have time to put out and I published this one because I didn't want it to be lost in the hundreds of documents I have either different stories or rewrites. I love the comment however. Now the only problem I have now is get a person to do all of what you suggested.
4147562
I just pick out some of the more noteworthy issues with the story. Those do all need to be fixed, of course, but you certainly need someone who can look over it more thoroughly and catch all the errors. 
Oh, there's a lot more errors that I didn't point out because I'm not proofreading your story for you.
4147596 Right.
As the first author on this site (as far as I know) to have written an Attack on Titan crossover (and a successful one at that), let me tell you why you why this story needs fixing, as well as why I added it to the Plan 9 group:
1. Nothing of value is described. You call the titans "giant ponies" and expect that to be sufficient enough of an explanation. The atmosphere of the world you've created is breezed over (and unrealistic to boot, given that a situation like this would have panic the whole city over) and gives no real emotional attachment to the reader.
2. Over 80% of this story is just exposition. Phrases like:
just tell the audience what is happening and is in no way a realistic way that someone would speak to themselves.
3. Adding the Mane 6, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna as as your primary characters is extremely cliche, and it comes off that you're trying to milk your view count by using the most popular character tags.
It's just bad storytelling, which is exactly what people like me look for when submitting stories to Plan 9.
4161056 Hmm, I see what you're saying. Thanks for the comment, much appreciated. I'll definitely rewrite it and make it better.
4161091 I like your story. Why does it have down votes?
4239973 Because It was written poorly, so much so that it has been put in Plan 9 Of Equestria.
4240365 I feel the same way. My story Ace Combat: Divided Feelings also have down votes. Want to check out my story?
4240468 Yeah, I have it in read later. Quite back up with a lot of different stories.
Are you the meal? No! We are the hunter!
Interesting. Personally I would have kept the Titans looking like humans, but that is just me. Still I like how you set it in the current timeline instead of having it set years after the Titans came.
4370513 Hehe, thanks.
4370518 You're welcome. I just got into the show and frankly I was hoping someone would write a crossover. I don't usually read mlp stories but I make an occasional exception. I can see how it would make sense for the Titans to resemble giant ponies. If they were too resemble humans, it wouldn't make much sense. That is unless ponykind was ravaged by war to the point where cloud civilizations were a thing of the past and then that way giant human monster would make more sense.
4370565
Yes, Indeed that's why I made them giant ponies instead of humans :3
4370570 Though the Equestria Girls universe probably has giant humans running around. I bet human Snips and Snails got eaten within the first attack. Not sure how their pony versions would fare. Probably not any better.
4370580 To be honest, I'm not really sure.
4370591 Still interesting to think about
4370604 Yes, that is true, and I shall.
4370618 Oh? About the human world or Snips and Snails?
4370621 Snips and snails.
4370629 Oh okay lol.
4370629 This sound like attack on Titan even though I don't watch anime that much.
4430212 Yeah, it sure is. But I'm gonna rewrite it and make it better than what you see now :) So if you want, you could wait around for that :3
4430406 Alright. :3
LOLOLOLOL
you have no realistic sense of the pony world
'slid off her bed onto her hooves'
best way to break your hooves by sliding, equestrines are not able to put a 90 dergree angle on their hooves unless they want to break their leg
' She scratched her itchy wild red fuzzy mane'
how?, no magic unless she wants to break her neck by itching the top of her head with her head, hmmm must be a alicorn
'After spending quite some time in the shower, she remembered that she had to go to work'
fail, you don't just realise anything, unless shes a stupid pony, wait shes a pegasus forget that
'“Ugh, now to start my day…” She said placing a pair of headphones on her head'
Seriously?, headphones?, how on earth will that work?????????????????
first your going to need mines
then your going to need factories
then your going to need to power those factories
then u need electric and other techology equestria doesnt have
and then you got a damn big fucker trying to eat everything
also your pony didn't go to one of my partys
instant frowny face
you got no Rhythm so maybe i need to have a wonder into the story and do some shiz
animated-gifs.eu/leisure-music-notes/0097.gif
(make it more funny, since i decided needs a big plot twist, and i got bored at pointing out flaws)
Twilights House
Twilight walked out of her house carrying several books on transformation magic, she flicked her purple mane and looked at the ground fowning at a very large footprint, "wonder what made that, for once it doesn't look like discords" she muttered to herself a puzzled expression visable on her face, she glanced up and saw a blue unicorn with yellow eyes staring at her. She decided to walk over to her, when she got halfway she smiled "hey im Twilight Sparkle, whats your name" she asked flicking her mane and waiting for her reply.
Rhythm flicked her tail and frowned at Twilight, "ahh target aquired" she grinned slyly and levitated a Violin and its bow before playing several notes on it and smiling at Twilight, "it is done, your Elements are now mine, thank you for your help, now where are the other special mare's?" she asked before flicking her tail in dismisal, "actually i don't really care, you've ignored me before i rose to my position so its my turn to ignore you while fluffy feasts", with several quick rubs of her bow on her violin a low Thump Thump Thump was heard which grew louder.
Twilight glared at the mare wondering if she had completly lost it, then she remembered the blue mare who had tried to take over the music industry and make a sort of empire which failed since everypony with sense hated this strange mare's songs "eugh not another scheme again Rhythm, last time you thought it was a good idea to deafen half of ponyville, thank celestia for earmuffs" she sighed wondering if she was able to banish this pony yet. When rhythm started playing she didn't feel any different, "give it up you have no powers here" she sighed getting ticked off with this mare, however after the second tune she started to mutter "play one more tune and I...." but stopped when she heard a low thump noise what started getting louder, "what have you done?" she asked horrified
Rhythm grinned as a large brown unicorn apeared, this unicornwas ten times the size of Twilight's house, and she played another melody "Fluffy Food" she called to her pet before pointing at Twilight. Fluffy horn glowed levitating Twilight into the air at a alarming rate, soon she was next to the monsters mouth and then was gone. Rhythm then levitated herself into the air and onto Fluffys head, "onwards to Canterlot" she ordered her beast before playing another song to get it moving.
Las Pegasus
Rhythm's ride stopped outside a nearby hotel at Las Pegasus making her frown, "oh what now" she grumbled before seeing another huge pony wrecking a nearby hotel, she rolled her eyes before playing a song quickly on her violin stopping the beast in it tracks, "move it your blocking the damn road" she growled, however unlike Fluffy this monster was rather stupid, Rhythm then glanced at Fluffy "use teleportation on that thing" she growled. Fluffy quickly obeyed causing the other gigantic pony to teleport away, however Fluffy teleported away as well leaving Rhythm standing several feet above the hotel with nothing to stand on. Rhythm quickly fell onto the roof of the hotel and though the roof landing on the floor hard with a loud bang, then she started grumbiling curses, her violin then dropped down ontop of her head along with the bow causing her to see stars
(end of plot twist XD, you can use or not use lol XD, took me 5mins to write so probally gt mistakes and grammar errors XD)
4731141 Your are a dick.
4731074 Did I say you are a dick?
4161056 I read your story (all 300,000+ of it) its ok.
Lone. This was going to be a good read. More please!
6358895 ...I actually didn't think anyone would leave a good comment on this story, saying they want more. Thanks. I think I will continue it although there will definitely be a lot more words this time around.
6358921 I know how the haters (I hate using that term!)are. You could have a great story but it will be work.
Daaaaamn, we have the exact same story title, but mine has Star Wars in the crossover as well besides AoT and MLP in it! I don't know what to do about this.
This seemed like a pretty cool idea...to bad it's probably dead