Time Turner is the stallion you go to when you need any help with a clock, however lately he's not been himself. At the same time he starts getting his nightmare on a nightly basis ponies go missing. Why dose Time Turner feel the need to investigate? Better yet, why dose Dinky keep trying to get him to work on that odd watch?
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My first story on the site (Please be Gentle) I have not seen anyone take route for the doctor yet (in this fandom) and decided what the hell, I also hope you guys like the surprise at the end. Currently under going editing Eldamur. If you haven't read his story 'Rifts what are you waiting for?
Chapters (2)
Awsome
Not a bad story, but you tell more than you show, it comes off a little rushed.
Also, there are times when the same word is used again too soon. Should use a synnymn for that.
4023000 Wacky thanks for the comment, I'll try and fix that for the next chapters
4022967 RAINBOWDASH78 Thank you
4024076 im guessing this is like the family episode so tome turner jas a watch with his realself in there and derpy knows all about it
4024076 That's cool. So long as you're always will to strive to improve, you're doing great.
4025748 I do, but I'm sad to say this is the only site I've ever gotten feedback on.
4024289 Well... you know what episode I was inspired by for one part, that being the watch. The rest however, you'll have to read to find out.
4027540 I know that feeling all too well.
Most of the time people will only comment if something is bad, or really, REALLY good. Just keep doing it for yourself and you'll stay motivated.
4027562 Were you suprised i guessed that is for this story on the watch part
4028657 Nope, I was hoping for it.
4028657 Nope, I was hoping for it.
4031457 I know my doctor who or whooves in this case
4031498 Indeed
4032499
The family
Looks very interesting, but you might want to slow down a bit. I shall eagerly await further content.
The sounds which got him the most however was the screaming of foal's
-Should be foals (not possessive)
that a set of soulless scream rung out,
-screams (I imagine should be plural)
It was the third time week he had that dream
- time that week?
- he'd had
You use 'mailmare' a lot in the second paragraph.
something jump out of the bushes
- jumped
this caused the clock repairer to smile
- I'm honestly not sure of the correct terminology for this one, but I'm pretty sure repairer is not a word. :/
as he looked too the two standing before the back rooms doorframe.One of the two mares
- to
-room's
- and you missed a space after the fullstop.
similar to a lavender flower,amethyst eyes
- Missing space again
brown stallion He hugged
- Needs a comma between stallion and hugged
So, who's clock are you working on today?
- whose
she could use for her cloths for some of the flawless one's
- clothes
-ones
wait for your mum in shop
- In the shop?
Both shook there heads
- their
I'm nitpicking I know, but I'm just trying to help :)
4083417 already told you, not the family.
4083429 Thank you, I will try and fix those soon and I'm glad you liked it.
I remember you telling me about this story but I forgot to mention that I too have written a story with Doctor Whooves in it :P
4083458
BUT IT MUST BE!!
4196426 nope. Remember, there are other shapeshifters in the whoverse
4196438
OH OH OH, the Slitheen!
Then there's those Daleks like in Asylum of the Daleks
Much Like.
thanks :) Im almost done with the last chapter>>4222197
does this even have celestia in it? why was it added to my group?....
6127066 I clicked on it by accident to add and I thought I took it off. I'm really sorry about that.
6127308 oh then you did , i just haven't gotten that far up my notification yet....
6127367 okay, i do have a story in the group and if you haven't seen/read it yet please do.
6127424 still working through the notifications such as your blog posts for it which i made a reply on , i left the site alone for like half a month so i had over 200 things waiting for me to sift through heh....
though also im not partial to that kind of drug/rape/bond/abuse kinda stuff , in most cases anyways.......
6127444 other then the bond it doesn't have rape or drug in it
6127478 whaaaat?! but i thought it was inspired by the luna fic that was all that stuff in full?....
6127498 Just because it's inspiration, doesn't mean it has to follow it, you know?
6127520 pretty sure that' the point of inspiration but ok....
6127523
It can, it can also be different