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On her journey to Ponyville, Trixie stops to plan out her next move, she wants to try to get some things from her old caravan in the dump. deciding to camp out the night in the White Tail Woods north of Ponyville. A fire sprite introduces herself to Trixie. A creature that Trixie actually made with her magic by accident. The fire sprite offers to help Trixie out of her jam, and they both get into some very interesting situations.

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Comments ( 4 )

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Aoki

Aoki #1 · Jan 3rd, 2015 · · · Chapter 1. Trixie's new friend ·

Ok, your premise has a lot of potential. However, your going to either have to go paragraph by paragraph and edit or get ahold of an editor. I'm not an English major, however I could help you nail down some of the more common edits like typos, basic sentence structure corrections and the like.

In terms of content, perhaps rather then describing what happened with her last show, you open up the story with her on stage as she takes the audience's abuse.

Also, the scene with the spell-book needs to be fleshed out. How did she come across the spell book to begin with? Perhaps she bought it off a Zebra peddler who specializes in magical conundrums and oddities both large and small (you could use episode 57 "magic duel" as a resource).... just a thought.

Firelightflash

Firelightflash #2 · Jan 3rd, 2015 · · · Chapter 1. Trixie's new friend ·

5457367 ok good ideas yes. i was told that i had a few scene gaps and such so yeah if you would help that would be nice. and i know i have some work to do. i really sucked at English

Aoki