Yep. It's true. I live in Equestria now. Ever since a few days ago. It started with Derpy Hooves, who fell through a hole and landed in an alleyway on her head. I found her, and some interesting things happened since then, and this is the story that tells all.
(Warning: tagged teen for mild swearing, suggestive themes, and a lovestruck Derpy).
WARNING: a sequel will be here soon for those of you who love this one. The link will be below this edit here when it's online and posted and all the formalities.
Edit: THE SEQUEL IS UP!!! YAY!!! To go to the sequel, click here.
Chapters (9)
Yay Derpy shipping! :D
4019186 Thank you! I'm glad you commented on my story. I wonder why it's doing so bad, though...
Is it because of the chapter 2 ending?
4019277 In a professional opinion, I'd say that Derpy masturbating is kind of hard to comprehend, unless you provide a completely different background to give her reasons for her actions.
In a more professional opinion, if she is talking about loving someone, and fapping at the same time, that wouldn't make sense. I know from experience that lust can destroy feelings of love for someone, much more a relationship. I'd say what she was doing, would be more of a sexual craving that a love.
But just an opinion.
4019348 Opinion noted. Going to have to change that, Derpy! Sorry!
Aww...
Derpy:
4019352 x3
4019379 Derpy says hi, BTW. She can't type it to you right now because she's in the kitchen making herself some muffins for tomorrow.
4019379 Derpy: Hi! I heard from Ian that you subscribed to his YouTube...whatever that is...
Is that true?
4019406 Yes! His reading was funny. It made me laugh!
4019387 So let me get this straight, Derpy
, is making muffins 
, to eat...12 hours from now? 
4020537 Kinda, yeah. (Just don't ask, it's Derpy we're talking about. You know how much she loves her muffins).
Derpy: That's true!
How does she do that?
Dude , this is a self-insert. You know how much self-inserts are hated here? And things seem to be moving quite fast. Romantic feelings don't pop up the moment you lay eyes on a gorgeous girl. You need to know her personality in order to realize if you really love her, cuz she might be a bitch. Seriously. And Derpy/Ditzy didn't seem to show signs of confusion. Like, she just arrived in a new dimension and finds it completely normal. Might need some improvement.
4021321 Yeah...tell my inner-boy (and my mother) that.
4021321 But opinion noted, nonetheless.
4021328 It's good to see that you accept neutral criticism. Most authors delete those.
4021339 That's the whole reason I decided to write on this website instead of just add stories to my favorites and click the read later for those I don't have time for. You never know if you're good until you get cold, hard criticism slapped in your face. Until then, you're never learn.
4021339 Only one problem though; in order to re-do the pace of the story, I'd have to revoke it's submission. And everypony who thought the story was good and wanted more would be screwed because they'd have to wait for the story to gain approval a second time.
4021394 There's no problem with this. I nyself am rewriting a crossover. No one's whining about it. But it is you fic, not mine.
4021444 I guess I care too much about the way others feel, I'm not sure anymore...
Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh Deeeeeeerrrrrrrpppppppyyyyyyy yyyyyyoooooouuuuu aaaaaarrrreeee aaaaaawwwweeeesssssooooommmmeeeee!
4020953 Shes Derpy
Don't question it
4022005 Your keyboard broken?
4023738 Good point.
Okay, just a couple of formatting mistakes
1. Everytime someone else is speaking you press enter.
Instead of "Hi" I said. "Hello," He said back, it would be
"Hi!" I said with a smile, and waving.
"Hello!" he replied, returning a smile.
2. When the protagonist is thinking, in my story, I always put it like this:
'I hope she likes me...' I thought.
To avoid confusion between out loud and to self. Always put thoughts in italics, and instead of " put '.
Okie I'm done :3
4023782 I do like how the story is going though. Good job keep it up!
4023785 Thanks. And Opinion noted.
The Feels! Need new chapters!
4024983 I will. By the end of today, I should hopefully have a new chapter out. I work fast when my mind is set on something, so be on the lookout!
4025479 K
This is amazing music within us you should make more chapters
4027385 Thank you. Working on it now.
Hey im writing a story myself and I was wonder if you wanted to edit it
You dont have to if you dont want to im juat asking
4028479 im just asking
4030210 I've never been asked to edit a story before! It would be an honor! I would try to do my best to make your story really worth reading! Thank you! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!
4030831 youre welcome bro also this is the first story ive wrote
4030913 also do younhave a gmail?
4030913 Ah, first stories; I remember mine. It sucked at first, but then it got 7 likes, cutting ahead of 6 dislikes.
4030919 Yes, I do have a G-mail. I use it most of the time for my YouTube channel, which is why the channel is named after me.
What is it so I can send you part of my rough draft
4030994 I was thirteen at the time, so please excuse the stupid username; thabigid1@gmail.com
It meant Tha Big ID. Now that I look back on it, I feel kinda funny.
4031002 btw I aubaceibed to yoy on youtube
4031013 I subscribed to you
4031017 Thanks for the subscribe! What video did you see that made you subscribe? Was it the songs I made with GarageBand, the readings, or the vid where I sang Story of My Life?
4031032 the readings of coarse ill check the music later
4031048 Thanks.
4031048 And now, I've subscribed to you.
4031067 did you get the story I sent you
4031092 I'll go check now.
4023741 nah just excited!
4031251
Dang, so many comments!