• Member Since 21st Jul, 2013
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StormLuna


Princess Luna is the best princess and Nightmare Moon is the best queen.

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Two old does of Applejack's are back in Ponyville and want revenge after what happened when their cider was shunned. They meet a pony with influence in the commodities market who decides to aid them in taking down Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack is not alone though, she does have allies of her own who will not just let her get ran over by her enemies.

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 11 )
Comment posted by Cytotoxin deleted Nov 17th, 2014

Hah they got their just desserts great story

Filthy Rich needs some parenting lessons

Oh no I see where this is going. Applejack is going to drive herself out of the market. :facehoof:

Or... that. That could have happened. :unsuresweetie:

Wow, those sentences are brutal.

8495085

Well white collar crimes tend to be punished rather harshly in our world, so why not Equestria too?

In the long description I see a few grammar mistakes.

And I’m not really sure about the pacing of this story, it’s a little bit fast and you are telling rather than showing us what’s going on.

Where are they?.

Are they at sweet apple acres?

Why is princess Luna there?

Also, using adjectives to describe a characters actions are important, I am learning about adjectives myself, so I can’t give you any help there, but maybe you could ask an editor to look over it again.

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