I had managed to go through the procedures of the conversion into a Pony, which all of its own wasn't all that bad. I guess I may have been the one most likely to make this trip, and now I had been beamed down to the planet.
I had found myself on the border of a rather dark place, apparently refereed to, as the 'Everfree forest', I could clearly feel darkness emanate from it, as if it had been a candle emanating light and a creepy scent.
The scent coming to mind is not too dissimilar to a crematorium, even if it also had the feel of an electric chair, I think it would be, the place where people were executed, back in Earth’s history.
Now I follow the chosen path leading me into the forest itself. I still feel the darkness, but I have a job to do, and a Zebra by the name of Zecora to meet up with. Apparently it had been falling on my shoulders. I expect to see why, once I meet her.
If it isn't the fact that I had trodden such dark paths, my guess is that the Captain trust in me, or that there is something similar to the Zebra I'm to find at the edge of the path chosen. He never told me, just that I was to see a Zebra, living in a hut, midst the dark and forsaken trees of this forest. I do as he commanded me, only because I know and trust him. I know he has an even harder path ahead of him, as he set off, infiltrating the Royal Castle.
Shadows haunting my path, darkness dancing all around me, as if there were lost spirits calling out to me. Words spoken, but lost in the sea of time, distorted by dark magic. I carefully hasten my steps, trying not to hit a full gallop, which is a sure sign of fear, which isn't what I would like right now.
As I finally do find the hut I had been sent to, the door is closed, so I give it a good knock, as to signal my arrival, to see if she is indeed at home. I couldn't know, since she could have left since the latest scan had been performed, and I couldn't be informed right away.
A moment later, I hear a sound from within the simple hut, and hoof-steps moving towards the door. She apparently is at home, or it is whoever was looting her home, and if so had just murdered her. Only this wasn't feeling very likely to me. It is in how it feels, the spirit of things. Maybe this is why I had been sent. Even if he may have been able to take this on, but he is away on another mission.
The speculations soon proved futile and pointless, as the face of a Zebra entered my field of vision.
“Greetings, what would you want to see me about?” she simply enquired in a curious voice, although her take on the Equestrian was strange and odd, as everything about her, I could still clearly make out what she was saying, and not just because it was a fairly simple phrase, now it finally dawned upon me, why he chose me, of all available members of his crew.
“You're Zecora, right? I was sent to see you!” I offered lightly, with a slight smile of coy amusement on my lips.
This was starting to prove very interesting a meeting, one I wouldn't have foreseen in a hundred years, not even on the Enterprise, with Picard at the helm. I guess the mood was shining through, a Pony can only hide so much.
I hadn't cast a glance at my flanks. Why would I? Even if they had explained the strange occurring detail among Ponies in Equestria.
Considering what I had been doing back at the ship, would there appear a mark with a drink, or something of that nature. What I had been missing out on, is that the mark is showing something more than a mere pastime or how to make a living, it is apparently about acceptance too. I know I'm accepted as the bartender in ten forward, but would it count here. Right now, I did hope not.
“That would be me. I guess my reputation has reached farther than could have been expected!” Zecora mused in a more delighted tone than her regular sombre voice.
“I guess you could put it that way. That would be part of the reason, why I came in the first place. If I'm to be blunt, I was sent here!” I pointed out, and thus confirming her initial impression.
“Just how much further away are you hailing from? Even though I see your coat, there is something more, and something very different behind it, something a mere Pony couldn't see. Is there a Stallion behind your quest? He sent you here, knowing you are the only one he could trust speaking with me, while his quest is elsewhere!” She pronounced with a deep truth hidden under her breath, but the amusement gone, and a seriousness in its place, as she looked at me.
“How far, several days' flight, at top speed. From your perspective, I guess I'm just as different, as a Dragon would be. He is a stallion, and my superior. He trusted me to connect with you. He is special to me, and a dear friends in manners my words can't quite cover. There is a history between us, far too long to recite!” I responded gently and truthfully.
“Flight, you say, but you are an earth Pony. I sensed you trot through the forest, as if the dangers you felt are all real. Yet, I can see clearly, you're not of Equestria. Just like my origin isn't Equestrian either, I fled my homeland long ago, in order to escape the prosecution that had just started up at the time, I was barely a mare at the time. I wandered off, and eventually found myself here, the spirits led me to the place where I now call my home. Sadly, I could bring with me precious little, aside from the knowledge I had already picked up, then expanding upon it throughout the gears in this very forest. The decorations are just the remnants of my culture, such as it was before I left for what now is my exile here, among the Ponies of the land. In part, I earned their trust, being kind and sharing what I could with them, my knowledge and experience. From time to time, I help them, with what little I can. I didn't create the magic of the forest surrounding me, but I guess I do make good use of it. It's a living fortress for me, in a sense. It is as strong and reliable as the castle of Canterlot, but isn't that where your Stallion headed off to, in his part of the quest?” Zecora explained, her voice becoming more dreamy and thoughtful as she prodded the vistas of her past.
“Yes, that is true, I'm an earth Pony, but I'm not quite of this world. I sense more than the eye could possibly see, and thus I feel a sympathy for and with you. In some ways, I live a life of a similar exile, serving the Ponies around me. My place appears humble, but the trust from my stallion is as deep as the ocean, and thus I can serve him. He would currently trotting the halls of Canterlot, but I can not know where, or how he is doing. His quest is noble and important. He is a stallion of peace, thus I hope he will find what he is seeking.
“In this case, your secrets are safe with me, I have little to no contact, directly or indirectly with the Ponies of Canterlot. The only once I interact with, are the Ponies of Ponyville, you may have seen the village, it isn't all that far from here, after all. I'm mainly giving them advice, when they ask me, and preparing potions, when required. Then I may ask them to help me gathering the herbs, Flutter Shy has been very valuable in this quest of mine!” Zecora explained.
“When you said potion, you don't merely mean herbal medicine, right? Some plants does after all have very potent effects. I just have little to no experience with how this would affect Equestrian Ponies, with the herbs at hoof!” I responded truthfully.
“No, it is no mere medicine, not of the traditional type, anyway. It laces the potion with the spirit, the magic of the intent, making it far more potent, then merely mixing chemicals together!” Zecora continued.
Then she stood still, for what seems to be an eternity, yet it could never have been more than a few minutes. She just looked at me, as if she had seen me for the very first time, as if something had changed. Since it wasn't Zecora, it had to be me.
Then I looked about, casting a glance back at my flank, only to find something actually had changed, there is an image, a pictogram there. What it is, or what it represented, is still beyond me.
“Apparently I had ignored your blank flank, but it is blank no longer!” she just stated in a confused and amused manner.
“What does it mean?” I pondered.
“It means that you've found your talent, it is a very important moment to Ponies of Equestria!” she informed me, in an unusually sombre tone of voice.
The cutie mark, such as I had been gifted with looks like a green leaf in a heart shape, and with a blue border, a yellow star on top, a red star bottom right, and finally silver star bottom left.
“To my knowledge, this would be a very rare mark, but I don't know enough of Ponies and their marks, so I couldn't say with certainty. Though he significance of it is powerful!” she pronounced.
--- --- ---
it would appear that most of the story is just mediocre. i would suggest a re-write of the first chapter, as it basically sucks.
3992923 going by what you've pointed out, it would make the chapter considerably longer, aside from just addressing the initial problems.
If you have red any of my other stories on site, you'd notice that my initial chapter(s) are commonly shorter.
Seems I'm more out of practice on the subjec then I had expected.
This far, Picard, la'Forge and Guinan are going.
On occasion, Data had proen that he can go out on a limb, like when he stated;
"I think I speak for everyone when I say; 'To hell with our orders'!"
Picard, he certainly do have a informal tone to him, maybe they chose Data to be particularly strict, in his speach as a counterpoint?
Inventing the name of the system should be simple, there can be no canon on the matter.
as small a side path as it may be, the system still do require a name, but I need to figure a time it could be, without going off, into a time before or after the critical characters ere in service.
As vague as they are in expressing how it is done in the show, I was going by the idea that I merely need to make them look like ponies, or earth ponies. very few would pick up the small discrapencies.
Finally, a serious comment again.
I hope my characterisation, once the actual adventure is in place is better, then the on ship scene was. I'm trying to explore how chocen characters will interact, mingling with the ponies.
Question is, who goes to the remining locations.
From what I have seen, I recall Picard is great in infiltration, as well with older women, among other things.
Guinan is a mystic character we know very little about.
La'Forge is the better of out Engineers, and his blindness could be used for something later on.
Once Picard is out, Riker would be bound to stay onboard,
just as I can't quite see Data turned into a pony, as amusing as it may have been.
he he yay dan dan dann now if i remember it right hi ginan i think was the cater name aka whoopi goldberg i think that right any way loving the story so far and hoping to read more soon
4024198 I guess I could make use of freshing up my memory on the show, I can openly admit to that much.
Even if my first/initial chapters tend to be short in several stories.
I need material and details to fill the chapter to the prefered length, if this even isn't longer,
how do I make a chapter longer?
4024221 thanks, this would be where the adventure supposedly starts off.
4024246 first gen? it's picard in the royal casle in this chapter, right?
ah yeah, this chapter is shorter then the previous, the question is what could make the scene better, by adding more at this point. I hope the discussion(dialogue) adds something to the story, more then merely pointing out characters and a general mood to the time period.
4024284 seems I passed the first boundrary of chapter size here?
though it is fun to play around with our Engineer too.
4024392 Woopie did play Guinan, alright, it is even stated on the character listing.
I just may have made a good call, sending her this challenge, since someone had to face Zecora.
oh, there sure will be more, I'm still introducing 'mane cast' here, as it were.
I hope you'll enjoy the next few sequences, the way I've planned them.
4024575 fist of all there is at less 5 ok or good story in next gen which is probably be good for you to look at that are first contact and q ones are always a good look as for this then there the klingons which you can look story for the griffins ideas and far as i know picard never went above captain in rank well not in the series of the tv show but i'm not sure about the moves though.
that know as first gen is captain kick series of the tv show and he is one that did be a amaral add less in the moves not sure about the tv series.
the caters you're using so far mostly good Guinan and the Engineer, were very good and that flowed and the timing and the pacing was lovely. the picard is hard to do good or lovely and when i read it some was ok and maybe good but one chapter where is mainly from him it seem flat and just pass abell most of that one had good stuff in it but it kinda got let down by picard you may need to spice that up there.