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Sequels1

  • E Scholar's Mate

    A Sequel to The Unchosen One. Trixie has to deal with politics and rivals as she begins a crash course in learning to control her new powers while also keeping them a secret.  · MagnetBolt
    64,161 words · 1,226 views  ·  157  ·  7  · 

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Trixie has returned to the only life she hasn't failed at, rock farming. When her old rival comes to help her make amends, she's thrust into an adventure she doesn't want to be on, but it may be what she needs to reclaim her confidence as the Great and Powerful Trixie she once was.

First Published
19th Feb 2014
Last Modified
29th Mar 2014

For

Inspiration and

Recognition of

Story

Ttelling

A curious take the characters here. Trixie in depression while Twilight is unsure if she should be doing anything. I will be looking forward to how this plays out.

Well, this is an interesting new take on an old concept. Instead of Twilight just taking Trixie home and nursing her back to health, it looks like she will have an opportunity to get back on her hooves on her own by realizing her real potential.

Very promising. I'm really looking forward to seeing how this will unfold.

I look forward to reading more of this.  I do wonder If somehow there is going to be side effects and/or consequences for Trixie taking off that ribbon.  I also wonder how much more of this fic is going to be an Adventure.

I will sound like a hypocrite, but please HURRY UP! This story has the thing I like: Trixie, and Twilight being annoying while trying to be helpful. I need more!

Great work so far! I can hardly wait for the next chapter! Also, judging by the romance tag and the main character focus being on Trixie and Twilight, I'm very happy to see 13k words without the two being lovesick teenagers pining after ech other, and that there might be an actual chance for building affection before romance.

Trixie's horn burst into light, and her goat flashed with a mirror sheen

I don't know which word you intended here, but I suspect this one wasn't it.

>>3979768

I'm very happy to see 13k words without the two being lovesick teenagers pining after ech other, and that there might be an actual chance for building affection before romance.

Hear, hear. I wholeheartedly agree. It would be nice to see the relationship building naturally as they get to know each other properly.

Story developing well. The ooze plot and malfunctioning magic plot are both intriguing. You have an interesting take on Trixie, contrite without being either too angsty, whiny or attempting to lose her old personality. I like it.

And it's very refreshing to see Twilight's friends not act like petulant five-year-olds.

>Mooncalf

You're right, that wasn't the word I wanted. *fixes* It should have read *coat* not *goat*. This is why editing your own work is difficult - it can be easy to miss small mistakes.

I am loving this. Trixie is so depressed. I wonder what is up with her magic though. Give her more power!

Some fresh ideas are being explored here. I like it.

Mooncalf brought up a good point about how the characters are reacting to Trixie's presence. They seem to have shrugged off the past and are making efforts to mend. It's nice to see against all the fics that depict them as hostile jerks.

Looking forward to more!

I really am liking the way that this story is flowing.  I can see that eventually, the cause of this ooze is going to have to be investigated.  As well as how the ribbon that was on Trixie's horn is causing how her magic to be all screwy.  I, too, am looking forward to the slow build-up of Trixie and Twilight's relationship...at least I think it will be Trixie and Twilight.

hmmm...I like parts of this story, I just can't pin down my feelings on Trixie atm. At times she seems pretty in character and others she keeps on shifting in and out to me. I get she's been affected badly by all the shit flung at her and by the mistakes she made in the past. It's just hard for me to get your character of her down when she keeps on shifting I guess? She seemed fairly confident in her abilities at AJ's, but then again she keeps on trying to be humble and then getting arrogant every other time she speaks in some scenes. I get you're trying to show her going from being confident to beating herself up everytime she starts to think something good about herself, and I do like that aspect *partly because its not a good thing to do to yourself and shows how messed up she is now*, its just a bit jarring I guess.

Quite curious to see wth is up with her horn, I did enjoy the part where Trixie and Twilight were analyzing things and talking back and forth, showed Trixie has quite a background you wouldn't really expect her to, funny enough her magic background which she specialized in is the one she hates the most now. Kind of surprised that she is trying to figure out whats wrong with her horn and just not going back to not using magic again since after the fight with the wolf she didn't have any life-threatening reason to keep using it.

Looking forward to the scene involving where Trixie is staying in the town, I have to assume at Twilight's, though that also depends on whether or not something happens that causes Trixie to try to head back to the rock farm. Kind of amusing that the thing that convinced her to stay at least until the party was Pinkie's threats. Wonder if Twilight will try to get her to apologize to snips and snails or if she'll consider them to be even now since they did screw up Trixie's life with the ursa minor. Yeah....I write long posts ^^;;

Dundundun!

>>3980306 Oh, definitely. It's painful when your error doesn't get caught because it's a legitimate word - just not the right one.

This comedy clip illustrates the issue quite well, actually. Enjoy!

Ooh yeah. When that ooze came up in chapter one I thought of the Smooze, but I didn't think you'd actually use it. Inter-generational canon fusion can be really interesting. Of course, I've never actually seen any pre-4th gen material, but still. And darn it, Trixie, even when you try to go clean, you end up messing around with dangerous magic artifacts. At least they have some control of it, and magic immunity has its uses. I like where this is going. Your pacing is holding up well. And the relationship is proceeding nicely.

Fluttershy's bit of forgiveness was touching, and it did bring up something I agree with, Trixie wouldn't have let the beavers out if she didn't have some kindness left, and Fluttershy would notice that.

The exam scene was interesting, and it neatly demonstrates the differences between our two heroines; Trixie may not be more than a bit above average in power, but she's highly imaginative and can come up with novel solutions. Of Mares And Magic showed the same thing, as I remember.

Errors I caught are mostly the occasional use of 'someone' instead of 'somepony', and this:

Trixie has saved countless ponies from all sorts of disasters, yes because of one minor incident

Well, it looks like the real adventure is about to begin.  I liked seeing Trixie at those entrance exams.  She definitely knows how to improvise.  Stupid question:  Did Scootaloo ever get down in the last chapter?:derpytongue2:

>>4000953 Frankie2

She eventually got down, but she was very disappointed that she didn't get her hangtime cutie mark OR her 'being hit by a miscast spell' cutie mark. She felt somewhat better after deciding she didn't really want the second and that the first would be pretty lame for a pegasus.

My comments pretty much mirror Mooncalf. Still enjoying this and the growing call for adventure.

Lulamoon's having a connection to Luna in the past seems to be a popular theme in fanfiction. Easy enough to see why and I'm wondering if that will play in later. We shall see.

Till next time!

This I like. :pinkiecrazy::heart: I'll continue reading. When I'm done, this has so already earned a fave from me.

Was having AJ use an improper plural form of pegasus on purpose? :rainbowhuh: I'm just nitpicking. I like the idea that she has to cast spells backwards. It's probably the unicorn equivalent of writing with your non-dominant hand.

I loved the part with the final exams. Both Trixie and Twilight were very clever. I do wonder what Twilight did for the third part of the exam, however. The chapter seemed to end very abruptly, but appropriately, I suppose. I'm extremely fond of your writing style. I think you'll be getting a follow from me as well. :raritywink:

>>4008680

It was on purpose. I'm sure AJ knows the correct term, but it fit into the flow of the story and AJ is more worried about her orchard than correct pluralization of latin roots.

Pleas no twixie

My takeaway for this episode is that Twilight and Trixie are getting more comfortable around each other. Trixie is getting a little snarkier, which is a major improvement from the crushing self-deprecation from the beginning and Twilight is cracking more jokes around her. Pretty cool development all around.

Also, Luna was a hoot! It's too bad we don't see more of this in the show. She seems grumpy most of the time there. Not here! She's full of life and taking a amusing interest with the new Lulamoon plopped down into her lap.

Looking forward to more!

Oh, this continues to be awesome. I really, really love how Twilight and Trixie bicker and banter and joke with each other now that Trixie is out of her funk. It's kind of how I like to write them.

Even my magic would be blocked my the Smooze.

Typo there. Also, you keep using the word "people"; I'm not sure if ponies use that word instead of the more idiosyncratic "ponies". I might be wrong, though.

“You'll also need rope, and torches, and crampons-”

Luna, they're not playing Ogres and Oubliettes... ah, who am I kidding, Luna's pre-Nightmare life was one huge O&O LARP campaign.

“Sister! I have prepared Consort Lulamoon for the adventure!”

And Luna joins the shipping squad.

“Do you know anything about the Lulamoon family and Luna?”

And this is the part where I start to seriously worry that you might be sneaking into my home at night to siphon away my thoughts, because I had the very same idea for a story. I guess it makes a fair bit of sense to see that connection. Much approved.

So yeah. Action, adventure and shipping. Twilight and Trixie continues to be awesomely adorable together and the romance angle moves slowly and gently, just as it should. And Trixie gets sorta kinda drafted into the Royal Guard as a bodyguard. That is so incredible.

This story is going on my Favorites of Favorites list. Well worth rereading.

“You're the only pony who can use magic where we'll be going. Whoever's controlling the Smooze won't be expecting anypony to be able to do that! We'll have the element of surprise!”

This is funny to me because the headcanon for my Twixie story is that Trixie's the element of surprise. :rainbowlaugh:

I'm loving this so far, by the way. :pinkiehappy:

Screw Twilight! Luna must get Trixie!

>>4020850 The long-lost Element of Surprise! Surprise and Fear! Fear and Surprise!

That is, the Elements of Surprise and Fear and Ruthless Efficiency...

Ahem. Among the long-lost Elements of Harmony are Surprise, Fear, Ruthless Efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to Celestia... I'll come in again.

Obviously not the Lunar model armor, but she wears it well. No wonder Twilight wants a bodyguard now!

>>4021152 She is cute in that. :twilightblush::trixieshiftright: I can't wait for the inevitable, "Well now you really are a consort," comment. :rainbowlaugh:

>>4017542  What not?:rainbowhuh:

>>4020850 Are you talking about the sequel to 'Something About Her'?:duck:

>>4021152 I love that picture.  *Proceeds to copy it to image folder*:derpytongue2:

All I have to say is that this is definitely getting interesting.  Let's see what happens next.:pinkiecrazy:

>>4031737 Because I am sick and tired of every trixie story I read that has them hocking up in it. why can't they just be rivals is that so much to ask for.

>>4031737 ...ok you caught me. Lol. :raritywink: Sorta' ruined the surprise a bit, but I guess that was my fault. Lol. :twilightsheepish:

Comment posted by LightningBass94 deleted at 1:38pm on the 4th of March, 2014

>>4032078 In that case, I recommend this story: Unlikely Allies. A very good take on the nonromantic rivalry.

So kissing, when?

Personally I think it was just a bit too early for them to refer to their future get-together as a 'date', as it implies that they're consciously aware that they have feelings for each other. I was really digging their circling around each other and the way Twilight kept justifying it ("Just friends, friends who enjoy each other's company without anypony else and share beds and cuddle") and didn't want it to move ahead too quickly. But you call the shots on your story, it's all good.

That said, loving the story even more than ever. They have an unbeatable chemistry here. Heck, they're even comfortable enough that they can bicker over mapping methods while in the middle of danger.

And I'm absolutely digging the idea of Trixie as Twilight's guard, and not just because it puts her comfortably within reach at all times. It just feels awesome. Not sure if I mentioned this earlier, but it's better to be on the safe side.

Mooncalf has a habit of reading my thoughts. :twilightangry2:

I'm digging the bonding, particularly after Twilight heard Trixie's story about her first love. I bet that's partly responsible for Twilight getting flirty ideas in her own head.

And Smooze attack just as it's getting good. Darn Smooze!

Looking forward to the climax!

Expect a lot more in the way of fighting and magic next chapter as Trixie has to push herself to her very limits. This chapter is a little shorter than usual because I decided to push back some things into the next chapter to let it flow better.

....

“That wasn't my stomach,” Twilight said, with a sudden sense of dread. The two ponies looked back over their shoulders and saw a wave of brown muck surging towards them, filling the passageway. They screamed as it overtook them, the mud enveloping them and sending them careening through stone halls, both of them fighting to keep their heads above water.

Hah! Sorry, couldn't help myself.

>>4035926

*wiggles eyebrows*

Sometimes you need a little fiber to keep your smooze flow regular.

>>4035926 Yeah, talk about going with the flow.:rainbowwild:

This is just as excellent as every chapter before it. :rainbowkiss: I loved the stallion line. :raritywink: :rainbowlaugh:

>>4036415 Better let that slide for now.

Your transitions could use a little work, they feel very abrupt and stop the flow of the story. I keep getting the feeling "Is there a there a paragraph missing from here" almost every time.

Liken this. Nice Trixie heckling. The nightmare, to me, took too much of the chapter, but it was still fine. Can't wait for the next chapter

I think I've mentioned before (somewhere, at least) that one of the character traits I like most about Trixie is her courage... or, rather, confidence. The kind of confidence that can make her stand up to an Ursa, or challenge a princess-in-making. I think you captured it perfectly here. Trixie sassing off the villain seems so right. Soo badass. (Even if she was clearly counting on her magic immunity to save her.)

The nightmares were interesting, if a bit obvious. Nice to see that Trixie seems serious about her new job. Also nice to see that her orange-blue color scheme returned. Have you studied color theory?

Typo:

The ooze around Twilight and Triie

I love when Trixie does what Trixie does best. Using her big mouth.

The nightmares were obvious right away, but they help highlight some of the darker fears the two have so they are still effective.

Let's see how Trixie manages to con her way out of this one. Looking forward to it!

Oh, Trixie's going to rescue the princess.

Then she'll snog her, I hope.

Your nightmare scenes were way better than mine. :trixieshiftleft: I begrudgingly and absolutely loved them. Lol.

I actually thought I couldn't love this fic any more than I already did, but you proved me wrong with this chapter. :heart:

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