Just a dude who writes mainly clop with some action and some GrimDark on the side. Also, If you don’t like futa, you may have a bad time here :P ;)
Twilight and her crew aboard the Stardust come across an abandoned space station. Upon further investigating, they discover that it had only been recently abandoned. What happened there remains a mystery for the mares to unravel... while another party interested in the find closes in...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Wow... Just wow
Eh, it's... Interesting. The convo is choppy and I feel that you spent a little too much detail and attention on what they were wearing rather than their inner thoughts and feelings in the third person view. It was more omni-pervert than omni-present
3951678
You realize it's just a preview; right? All the emotions happen from when they step onto the space station and afterwards.
3953848 I realize that, you realize the point of a preview is to persuade someone to view your work? I just felt that some work needs to be done, never said it was bad.
3955627
Well, it's the first 1,000 words or so but I see your point.
Good concept, good idea's. But for all that is holy this was a very bad start.
first, space your paragraphs so you can get rid of the wall of text you currently have and second try not turning this instantly into a clopfic it just doesn't work well for the readers and especially not for me.
Good luck
3956863
It's sorta needed now since the rest of Season 1 will be them running for their lives through said ship. Not many other places to have a scene like this. Plus, it sets up moments for later.
pretty interesting so far, but the clop kinda threw me off because it wasn't really space/adventure/etc. i'll definitely be reading it when the next chapters come out.