I personally like reading romance novels, like "A Twilight Dinner Date". (Go read it. Now. >:D) If you have any recommendations, please let me know. :)
It was only supposed to be a normal day. But it wasn't. Ponies were disappering without a trace. So it's up to Twilight and her friends to figure out what is going on. But once they stumble upon The Gregory House, what will happen next? Will they find out what has happened to these ponies? Will they make it out alive?
Credit to ZombieDash for writing some of this fic, and for the cover art! I greatly appreciate it! :)
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Just from reading two chapters I can see 2 major problems. First, why a group of people? Would it make a better more focused story if you just had one character who just finds the hotel instead of being task by the princess, like Twilight while flying crashes into a tree and finds the hotel a few days after her coronation.
You have to think like Silent Hill for why they are sent to this torture and it doesn't have to be complex, like "Am I too nice?", "Am I ready to be a princess". Heck even Discord feeling like he's losing his identity can be a good reason to come to Gregory House.
And second, why is Gregory a pony? Why? I like the characters in the GHS but one reason is the designs of the guests. Along with the creepy but cool personalty each guest has a unique design to them like Hells Chef, Mirror Man, Poor Conductor, and Sleepy Sheep. Heck Gregory being a rat fits into his character being a slimy, deceitful, backstabber. If you just use ponies, you'll remove a good portion of the charm of the guest.
So yeah, First impressions let it down.
Hells Chef is a candle, not a pegasus. At least he was in character.
This should've been at the end of the last chapter.
Parents dying. Really.
Okay this is bad
. Not only was there no mystery about the main guest, but these was no morals with the encounters, or in general. And the killing of the cast one by one felt very cheap. while I agree Hell's Chef and Roulette Boy can and will kill people, Judgement Boy is a big nono
. And I didn't like Gregory just killing someone. He's a lot more subtle and elaborate than just throwing a knife, mainly letting the guest do it.
This story needed more thought.
The rarijack seem forced here.