A Little Nonsense Now And Then Is Relished By The Wisest Men.
Leiurus Quinquestriatus, the Deathstalker, a changeling raised to be a living weapon, is left without direction after the Canterlot invasion. Found by The Great And Powerful Trixie, she is taken to the Crystal Empire, in the hopes that somepony will take her in. However, Leiurus was given very specific orders regarding the Crystal Empire...
Orders regarding its destruction...
Part of the rebooted Cricket-Verse, aka The Nonsense-Verse.
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Fifth Story Up! Next time, it'll be an update on one of the other stories.
3929907 looking forword to it
Sounding good Bucking Nonsense! This is a good story and a greay Univurse! I can't wait to see what the other updates to the other storys and this one will hold!
Aw, look. Trixie has her very own Terminator.
Well, this is a great start to the story. I'm really enjoying it.
3930470 yes. Yes she does.
Heh heh heh. I don't know how but that last couple of paragraphs managed to make... her absolutely adorable.
For future reference, I'm going to shorten her name to Leia from now on, because I neither know how to pronounce her name, know how to spell, or have any interest in scrolling up to check the spelling every time I want to talk about her.
Man, I was really hoping for a Goliath story. Ah well.
3930742 Technically her name is officially and canonicaly shortened as "Elle"
But I've taken to calling her Fives.
Great, a ticking bomb going into the Empire... this is going to get interesting!
Oh, this:
Shouldn't that be "yourself"?
Also, in the description:
It's/its confusion rears its ugly head yet again...
Aside from that, awesome! At least enough to not notice anything else.
Keep up the good work!
Faved and up voted before even reading this. It was not a bad decision. I'm liking this better than the original.
It pleases me to no end to have found an author that updates both consistently and frequently. I doubt you will be able to keep this up, but here's hoping that you will continue along this trend for a while.
And please tell your loyal readers if you plan to pause/slow down/halt your updating. Otherwise we panic and set fire to things
Good as always, Thanks for being so active!
3930994 Well, let's be honest here. The Mane 6 beat up dozens of changelings on their own.
What chance does one, by itself, have against an entire empire?
It'd be like that one Japanese soldier hiding on the island in the Philippeans. Sure, he can strike with random guerilla attacks against small unarmed villages from time to time, but the odds of 'victory' are insurmountable (unless he obtains some form of Deus Ex Machina of evil).
And also there's the fact that his name is 'Deathstalker"...
Having such a name in a romantic comedy in itself is a sign he's going to be trolled by the universe.
3931476
Exactly what I had in mind with "interesting" part.
I should probably add something along the lines of "checks tags" there, as you pretty much nailed it with the last line.
Nice job, Trixie. Looks like she is taking the lessons her personal history taught her to heart.
THEN WHAT!? I GOTTA KNOW, ASAP! AAAGHH
MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *pinkie pie shoots pies every were*
3931476
Forgetting something? Changeling magic is powered by love (that's canon, by the way: Queen Chrysalis was able to defeat Celestia because she'd absorbed so much love from Shining Armor), and in my verse, the Crystal Heart is a non-stop love buffet. Add one child prodigy changeling magic user, and you go from your metaphorical single soldier to a pint-sized atomic love bomb.
My only critique:
Should be: she'd resume her more confident "persona"
Or maybe: she'd slip into her more confident "persona"
My Reasoning: "pick back up" doesn't sound natural IMHO
Nice re-imagining--Leiurus's...less than ideal childhood is really brought to the forefront here, and effectively: the fact that she HASN'T cast aside her orders to destroy the Crystal Empire despite Trixie's kindness shows that little Deathstalker has a long way to go.
3933830
Exactly. When I started this reboot for her story, I asked myself something: how far would you have to go to turn a person into a weapon, and be able to rely on their never turning against you? This is how far. And what kind of person would do something like that? Someone that would make Sombra seem almost fatherly in comparison.
3933871 Yep....kinda reminds me of the Horizon Corporation from Dalek IX's "Friends of a Solar Empire"--they treated their super-solider "project" (i.e., Twilight Sparkle) like absolute crap.
To give you an idea on how evil these guys are, all their surviving members who weren't killed during Twilight's rescue were utterly banned from any and all economic transactions. They can't even buy food, whether or not they were part of the team that created Twilight. ANYONE who worked for Horizon was simply declared a nonentity and left to wither and die.
3932203 Ah...
So he's an OP Gary Stu!
(You set yourself up for this! All according to my Xanatos Gambit! MUWAH HA HA HA!!)
hoping this has a fullmetal panic kind of vibe going .
3934529
Overpowered? In certain circumstances, yes. A Gary Stu? No. This is a girl we're talking about, after all
Never thought I'd say so, but as far as this story is concerned Trixie is Best Pony.
Heh. I like that Leiurus is able, despite being conditioned to follow orders unquestioningly, to form her own interpretations (the "as you please" and the hierarchy thing). Come to think of it, not explicitly commanding her to ignore orders from non-changelings seems to be kind of a silly oversight though...
3934966
She's five years old, so her training would be incomplete. Yes, she's a magical wrecking ball (as we will soon see), but her mental conditioning was still in process when Canterlot occurred. It was an oversight caused by no one thinking a non-changeling would ever come across her before her conditioning was completed. I kind of view her as a much less chipper version of Yes-Man from Fallout New Vegas. She's been conditioned to follow orders, but whose orders was not fully defined.
And so a fifth story is up. Don't overload yourself now. Try to at least focus on one story for a while so you don't hit burnout trying to keep up with writing five fics at once. Don't want them to get in the way of your personal life.
Many a great fic has been left unfinished due to burnout and life. I'm hoping that doesn't happen here.
I'm imagining Leiurus as speaking in a very monotone voice physically, mentally, and emotionally. When she is comparing Trixie to her programmer, it feels more like an analytical comparison of facts instead of emotional turmoil. If she isn't guided right, she could very well become a monster in one of the truest senses of the word.
3934571 It would depend on what you mean by "overpowered." Somebody could have super strength, but they would have to have a flaw to balance that out. In that case, they would not be overpowered..
It would also depend on how mentally prepared she is. Emotionally, she is still a five year old. No matter how much conditioning is used, it is impossible to get rid of emotions. They may be suppressed, but they will still be there, subtly controlling ones actions.
3937463
The primary condition for whether or not she's overpowered is the amount of love available, since she's a changeling, or course, but you've hit a lot of the high points: she is, in many ways, just a kid. Potentially a very powerful kid, but still just a kid, and one that hasn't been well taught, at that.
3937393
That's exactly how I picture her voice. She'd also have a very neutral expression as well. She doesn't smile. She doesn't laugh. She doesn't show any emotion. And for a child that young, that is more than a little unsettling.
I plan on going a full circuit, a chapter for each story, then start back at one. That way, I can interconnect each story as I go. Numbers four and five are going to be heavily connected, but stuff that happens in the others stories are going to have impacts on each other as well.
Ah, but I am going to take an extra day before I post the next chapter. I have been feeling under the weather lately.
3937499 I don't think the primary condition is love. It's more what she can DO with said magic that would make her overpowered. Like if she knew a super spell or something like that. If the only condition was Love, Cricket wouldn't need to worry about being caught since HE would be overpowered. But he can't USE said power, so he isn't.
3937499 I don't think the primary condition is love. It's more what she can DO with said magic that would make her overpowered. Like if she knew a super spell or something like that. If the only condition was Love, Cricket wouldn't need to worry about being caught since HE would be overpowered. But he can't USE said power, so he isn't.
3937531 yes, and that is what I'm hoping Trixie will try and fix. (Maybe by being the parent she never had? Wild guess?)
Again, just don't run yourself into the ground trying to finish them all.
I LOVE THIS SERIES!!!!!!!!!!
3934571 How can you be sure he's a girl?
MODERN LIFE MAKES THINGS SO COMPLICATED!!
3944843
?
How could I not be sure she's a girl
Shinning Armor leans over the table, Cadence smiles and Trixie takes a sip of tea.
SA: So, what are you doing here?
B: Obeying the order of Trixie Lulamoon.
SA: Oh and what order would that be?
B: Disregard all previous orders including the order to annihilate the crystal empire and kill all residents.
ShinningArmor is paralyzed
Cadence flinched and cannot move
Trixie does spit take
Telling Truth is super effective!
3947180
Rofbgl
3948719
.
That would be a serious moodkiller, yeah
3947180 With changelings... nothing is as it seems!
New chapter up!
YAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYA
..Random song, without a doubt...I don't trust this guy. Not one bit.
3973599
Good traveling song, though
Full disclosure? I think of all five stories, this one is my favoritest.
3973904
Many thanks
When you think about it, it makes a lot more sense for someone heading to a city that's a thousand years behind the times to be practicing ancient songs on the road, rather than something contemporary. The current generation of hits wouldn't go over well with our ancestors (playing dubstep in the middle ages would probably get you burned as a witch, for example), but something that was already old when they were around would, if nothing else, at least be considered nostalgic, and people like nostalgia sometimes.
As if I didn't love these stories enough now I get treated to some medieval music? Hell yes!
It seems that just after the city's return, two con-artists, Flim and Flam, sneaked in, and tried to scam the residents out of their hard-earned bits, selling items that were not available a thousand years ago... at absurdly inflated prices. After they were caught, and required to return the lion's share of their profits, the princesses decided to restrict travel to the city until such time as the populace could be a little better educated in the ways of the modern world."
So isolating them from all outside influence will help them learn faster?
It's called COMMERCE. The cure for being exploited by a monopoly is MORE trade, not LESS.
3974376 And I'm sure that if you had no idea what a Toaster costed and I sold you one for 500 dollars that you would not be pi$$ed off then?