Limits of the Horizon

by Beware The Carpenter

To be continued...

Two days ago I said that Limits of Mercy would be posted yesterday.

The time it takes for a story to get approved varies, but usually happens for me within an hour.

I submitted the satellite story that goes with the first chapter of Limits of Mercy (so the link would be instantly valid) at about 1:40. When it passed moderation at about 4, I submitted Limits of Mercy a few minutes later, and it didn't get looked at before I went to med around midnight, and then got rejected, as I'd made my own prequel link in the description, rather than using the box they provided

I apologize for the wait; but here we go for round two.

This is where things get complicated.

Comments

[Archivist Nightwatch]

OK i don't know why but i am backing away from this story can someone tell me what happened to twilight so i know if i wanna go down the rabbit hole or not. Normally Tragedy tags make me instantly leave a story but the premise makes me curious. SO i need to know what happened to her before i know if i want to move on or move away.

[Beware The Carpenter]

5736772

What happened to Twilight in her blackout was horrible. I think I implied that rather clearly in chapter 1 saying she was disfigured and confirmed it in chapter 3 when Shining Armor said that in the later part of it, she'd tried to kill herself 74 times. What I will tell you though is that I despise putting in horror, purely for the sake of horror, but even more than that I hate the way that the ideas of evil/forgiveness are belittled in the series:

Luna attempts global genocide out of pride. You blast her with the magic rainbow, she's sorry and then you make her co-ruler of the country and suddenly she's a favorite character.

Discord spends an indefinite amount of time torturing everyone in the country/ planet for his own amusement; but so long as he promises to be good he's allowed to walk free, and no one tries to re-imprison him even after he betrays the main characters twice.

Sunset Shimmer attempts to turn everyone into mind-controlled drones; and her punishment is needing to fix the door she broke while everyone else is inside partying, and then we're meant to feel sorry for her that people don't trust her after that.

For anyone who has had anything needing forgiveness done to them, (all of us) this is an absolutely useless portrayal of forgiveness.
For anyone whose done something needing forgiveness; (all of us) this is an absolutely useless portrayal of redemption.

If you went to Syria and met a guy who'd had his arm blown off by rebels, seen his kids killed, his wife raped, and his home/ business stolen or destroyed; mlp cannon's message would be that nothing that was done to his family was serious enough that something needs to be done about it. And if he'd been a fighter for another group, and done similar atrocities to other people, mlp's message would be that so long as he doesn't do it again there's no point dwelling on the past.

Fantasy is worthless if it can't help us understand reality better. Forgiveness is free, but that doesn't mean it comes without cost. Limits of the Horizon, and it's sequels, are an attempt at responding to how mlp cannon has blasphemed the price paid for the greatest gift in the history of the universe.

As for telling you what happened to Twilight during her blackout; all I can do is tell you where to dig:

Celestia's Smartypants is sad but short and contains a clue to what happened to Twilight.

Forsaken takes place shortly before, and led to Twilight's blackout beginning. (It's probably the less dark of my serious stories; it mentions previous deaths which would have been mostly quick and painless, but in the story itself everyone survives more-or-less-unharmed.)

Hint: Celestia's Smartypants and Forsaken will tell you more together, than each of them will alone.

The first chapter of Limits of Mercy also contains a hint to what happened, and isn't dark at all.

I might also suggest re-reading the start of chapter 10, and then going back to chapters 1 and 2 ; keeping an eye out for behaviors that... don't make sense.

If you're still not sure if you want to continue; wait a few months for a story I'm working on called Sea Me which also contains valuable clues.

Also, if you come up with any good theories I'll tell you how close you are. Intelligent deductions may also be rewarded with more hints.

[Beware The Carpenter]

5847871

Have you clicked the 'see more' button on the description?

If you have and you're still not sure about something, feel free to PM me any specific question.

[Beware The Carpenter]

5876871

Celestia wants to protect Luna, and for Luna to love her.

This is her top , and at at times, her only priority.

[Beware The Carpenter]

6146700

is derpy's memory block covered in another story

Storm of Secrets; though I will point out that right now it's under revision. I started SOS as my first story completely on improv and tried to mix a serious story while mimicking the frivolous illogic of the show. The reason I haven't updated in a while is I' currently working back and rewriting the first 3-8 is chapters. Hope to be done soon.

I'll also mention that this isn't strictly middle eastern culture; at least it's not Islamic, (most middle eastern culture predates Mohammad). Let's say it began with ancient Israeli culture, following the Torah; mixed with a bit of Chinese, Burma and whatever else I want.
Shaman of the Zaharren provides more details

what was celestias again? 1211? ... who could have such power?

Extremely powerful yes, though not ridiculously so. I go distinctly against the trend of making Alicorns larger than life. Shining Armor actually has more power than either of the princesses, and white elephants are referenced as being the most powerful magic users in the world; except possibly Twilight and Shining Armor's savant younger brother who was incarcerated in a maximum security mental asylum when he was four years old.

Thanks for the comments, it's been a while since I've had any new insights.

[Beware The Carpenter]

6210174

Sorry to hear that, though I did began the description with three trailers, implying three main stories I would jump between; and ended it with saying that I almost rated the story mature as I would be discussing a lot of heavy issues.

[Beware The Carpenter]

6461543

don't give it all away in one sub chapter.

Everything?

I'm not giving away more than a few rice crackers here, some of which have red herring on them; the feast is yet to come. If you can get to the end of LOTH, (part one of a four part planned series) and think you have any accurate idea of 'what happened' you are probably wrong, though I would love to hear your theories as they develop with new information; or any of the anomolies you can spot.

(Also don't forget that the satalites I attatch to this will all contain important information as I go on; though after months of re-writing; I'm hopefully within a week of re-posting the final draft of Storm of Secrets, so don't read the prequel to this quite yet.)

[Beware The Carpenter]

6694484

I don't think anyone else has ever proof read my work in this much detail since my mom stopped. Sometimes I would mull for ages about which things should be in bold or italic ect, believing no one would ever really care and you've proved me wrong... and now I'm not sure how I feel about it.

You were right about a few things like the quotation marks and putting the semi-colan in italic; but so far the things I've put in bold or italic are staying in bold or italic. Comments about the story itself, theories about the multi-leveled mystery, or pointing out actual spelling or grammar errors are much more appreciated.

Glad you're enjoying it.

Also for the record; Zaharren is the zebra home country. More details about it can be found in Zecora's story in Shaman of the Zaharren.

[Beware The Carpenter]

6773907

Firstly; let me express my appreciation of people actually saying what it is they don't like about my stories instead of just down voting and leaving.

...Shining and Spike going along with all of this, when at the very least Spike would have stood by Twilight before anyone else

Or Rainbow Dash, Element of Loyalty, or Storm who has an almost mirror image of Shining love for Twilight. The answer I'll give is that you have no idea what "all of this" is. You don't have a fraction of the pieces yet as to why for instance: Twilight gave birth to the first stable unicorn telepath in over a thousand years, with magic that dwarfs hers, better control over his magic at fifteen than she does at forty-eight, and doesn't have a single speck of white on him; supposedly fathered by at earth zebra from a long line of earth zebras.

and most importantly for this chapter, Slavery being painted as an okay thing,

A large part of this story's themes will be an answer to modernest claims that all ways are equal and no one has the right to judge anyone else (Which is self-contradictory in and of itself); but also explored in the backdrop of a deep discussion about culture and language.

Let's say you live in ancient Rome, and the government says every young man in your town is going to work for three months building a highway, and those who try to avoid duty will be put in jail; is this slavery? Let's say you live in modern day America, and the government says it's going to tax one quarter of your income (three months wage) and spend it on building a highway; is this slavery?

Later on, Twilight is going to tell Fidora she'd never be anyone's slave, and it then makes perfect sense to Fidora why Twilight would have abandoned Obtrillion rather than care for him. If a baby cries in the middle of the night to be fed, a good mother would feed it, whether or not she felt like getting up, and she wouldn't get paid. Would you call this slavery? Fidora would.

What about when the kid is a few years older, and it's expected to do what it's parents tell it without pay?

What about convict labor, where someone has to do a job for a set time to repay a debt or pay for a crime? Better yet, if I called it 'community service' rather than 'convict labor' would that make you feel any more comfortable?

What exactly is your definition of "slavery"?

[Beware The Carpenter]

6869624

Well it's no wonder it took you two months to write a review this long. It's massive!

Thinking about this, I might make a lecture for School for New Writers; I plan to try-out as a professor there.

All I can say is; I believe you.

Keep in mind; this is a sequel to Storm of Secrets. Both it, and it's summary linked in the description; but the hyper summary in the description are all you really need. That said; LOTH is largely a mystery, with a lot of points intentionally left blank, but let me see what I can do for the rest of your comments.

Yes, there was a giant blue that some buffalo were carrying, that was shooting pegasi out of the air with magic.

It was a giant blue cube. The buffalo were carrying a palanquin. Sorry.

Iron Will was hired by Cadance near the end of Twilight's 'Blackout'. Officially he's her bodyguard, though safety wasn't her main concern when she hired him, and Iron Will's main motive was neither helping Cadance or earning money. I stays in the background mostly, but he is important. (I swear I will one day finish 'The Minotaur, the Princess and The Train Tracks' and when I do, his role will be a bit more clear.

By Dictionary.com; Vista means watching something from far away. Somewhat reminiscent about his outside views of Celestia, but specifically his name means bird watcher, and generally means to watch carefully what's above him. (This is a hint!) He might not be optimistic in the current circumstances, but he is rather modest. His father is rather high up in the Royal Guard. Luna's former warden in fact.

So if Flutters lost her Element of Kindness to Cadence, then does that mean Applejack, shipped with Fancy Pants, lost her Element to some other pony as well?

That was before Twilight's blackout period began. Actually when Twilight woke up, AJ was in a relationship with Caramel who she later divorced. Fancepants came afterwards which is why their kids are much younger than those of Storm/ Rainbow Dash or Shining Armor/ Cadance.

I planned out a story about the Fancyjack ship a while ago; but given how slow I've been writing it will probably be delegated to a one shot or just getting mentioned later on. Neither them, nor their kids are important characters. Fair Trade is just a little guy who knew that Jonagoald was an earth pony, and Applejack was his mother; and he was seeing Twilight almost as much as Applejack so he was slightly unsure if Applejack or Twilight was his mother. Applejack got mad.

Horn locked = lock goes over horn, stops magic. (Ring made out of magic dispelling metal called Tylithium.)

Uthraig is a Ranger base in the Everfree Forest. Main characters stay there in Storm of Secrets, it will not be mentioned again.

And I'll look over the grammatical errors.

Thanks

[Beware The Carpenter]

6869624

Also yes; the story is rather convoluted with several interlocking threads. There are three plot hooks/ summaries in the description, there are three main threads. Twilight, Sky Blaze, and Shining Armor's son Clastic Strain.

Also for the record I'll say that Cadance isn't 'the alicorn of love'. She's mortal, and has slightly above average magic, but nothing spectacular. Nor is there any Crystal Empire. There is a faint strain of telepathy that runs through her family and her special talent is for a specialized memory spell that will make someone remember the time they were most in love. (No telepathy to read anyone's mind or do anything but that.)

[Beware The Carpenter]

6869624

One last point I forgot to mention. The messengers who came in were not Wonderbolts. They disbanded about 20 years ago, a few days after Luna's second rebellion.

Soarin's Pet Rock begins a trilogy that explains why.

[Beware The Carpenter]

7341294

You're almost right.

[Tali_The_Lamia]

*Reads the discription*
Bull crap, no way Shining Armor has more power then Twilight AND Celestia.

[ShadowXper]

So spikes dead?

[Beware The Carpenter]

9237654

Spike is a valuable and injured prisoner.

[ShadowXper]

9237782
Where does that show up?

[Beware The Carpenter]

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Limits of Mercy - Chapter 5

After Fidora had helped Obtrillion secure the dragon in the dungeons on the bottom floor of the sanctuary; they came back up to the lounge to find Twilight pacing tiny circles in the middle of the floor muttering arguments with herself. She'd obviously needed help, but someone needed to plant the tracking device in one of Raggarock’s warehouses as soon as possible and Fidora could not do that alone, and so Obtrillion left her to talk to Twilight while he went to plant the false trail.

Twilight's pacing was something she'd seen in Obtrillion when he was at his lowest. If it had been him acting this way Fidora would have known exactly what to say, do, and would have had him sleeping peacefully within the hour. But seeing as how that was unquestionably out of the question, so she tried engaging Twilight in conversation instead.

[Aether Spark]

You shouldn't have done that Spike.