With the heat rising in Ponyville and the weeds coming, the crops aren't thriving well. Applejack is affected the most and is feeling like her worth is falling, but Rainbow Dash sees it differently.
Chapters (5)
- Member Since 25th Jan, 2014
- offline last seen Jan 4th, 2015
DashiesFavoriteHuman
I'm a brony from, Lubbock, TX. Rainbow Dash FTW!
DashiesFavoriteHuman
Joined 25th Jan, 2014 ·
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Cuuuute! And well-written, but that's kind of a given.
Awwe
Yay! New chapter :D
I dont understand why this story has so many dislikes. This fic is adorable!!
Good so far but could you add a break to show the passage of time ex.
When will be the next chapter? I really want to see what will happened!!
Okay, so... first things first. This story needs some serious proof-reading/editing. There are some tense changes in the last chapter, some mistakes here and there throughout. It's also a rather fast-paced story and AJs 'tale' about her parents seemed a bit like... thrown in. 'Here, have some background, if you want' - if you catch my thought.
But, to be honest, those things were dwarfed by the thing that bugged me the most: AJ suggested that Rainbow has to apologize. "I love you" - "Uh..." - "You're a jerk!" No. It doesn't work like that. Nopony has to apologize just because they don't share romantic feelings towards the one confessing them. Yes, it's always hard to get rejected, it hurts a lot and it is nice to find comfort in your loving, caring family. But that doesn't mean that there actually IS something AJ has to forgive Rainbow for. That's just... downright wrong.
You also need some way to separate parts of the chapters from each other - it was kinda distracting when she went to sleep and zap, it's morning already, without hint or warning. Or when you change perspective from, say, Rainbow and AJ up in Twis room back to Twi standing at the main floor of the library.
I'm sorry.