Worth Something

by DashiesFavoriteHuman

Feeling The Heart

Applejack felt a cool breeze sweep by her as she lay in the darkness, a tear began to form in the corner of her eye, her thoughts growing more and more rapid. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but her stomach turned with ever breath, her heart beat was too loud, her breathing was too fast. She lifted her head and looked around, "it's gettin' late" she said silently, "Ah'd better head home" she stood up and stretched before starting to walk home. On her journey she kicked a pebble, a small insignificant pebble, a pebble that seemed out of place, seemed like it didn't belong, "you're lonely too, aren't ya?" she said, still kicking the pebble, "Ah think we have something in common", she sighed and kicked it away, "Ah can't believe Ah'm sympathizin' with a pebble", she thought, nearing her home.

When she walked in through the door, Big Mac awoke from his sleep in the chair, "huh?" he looked up and rubbed his eyes, "Applejack, why're you home so late?", he asked weakly, still waking up.

"Ah was just out for a while, no reason to worry", she said, not even looking at her brother as she walked up the steps toward her room.

"Ah wasn't worried, Ah was just askin' ", he responds, shrugging and slumping back into the chair.

As soon as she opened her door she trudged into her room and laid down on the bed, it wasn't comfortable, nothing was comfortable for her now, everything felt cold, lifeless, and totally alone, alone like her. She covered herself up and closed her eyes, though she knew she wasn't going to sleep, it wouldn't hurt to try.

"Applejack!" she heard the sharp yell of Granny Smith downstairs, "Applejack, it's time to get up!"

Applejack slumped out of bed and fixed her hat which she had forgotten to take off before going to bed, "Ah'm comin'!" she shouted back and slowly walked downstairs, "good mornin' ", she waved as she sat at the table.

"Mornin'?", Granny smiled, "it's past noon."

"Why didn't you wake me up earlier?", Applejack asked

"We tried, you wouldn't wake up, you just kept sayin' 'Ah'll do it in a minute', next thing ya know, you're wakin' up at noon", Granny explained.

Applejack huffed and slumped down.

"Are you alright?" Granny asked, a worried expression on her face.

"Ah'm fine", Applejack lied.

"You ain't a good liar", Granny's expression grew more worrisome.

Applejack sighed and looked at her old grandmother, "you ever loved somepony so much it hurts, then when you tell them, they do everything but love ya back?"

"Oh, so that's what this is", Granny sighed, "well...maybe the pony you loved ain't ready for that yet, maybe they want to love you, but don't know how."

"How do ya not know how to love? Ya just...love"

"Sometimes it's harder than it seems to love somepony, sometimes they feel like they don't deserve it."

"Everypony deserves love and whoever thinks otherwise...is stupid!" she gets up and stomps out.

"Applejack!", Granny watched her granddaughter leave, "who hurt you?", she asked silently.

Applejack bucked a tree angrily, "stupid!", she bucked it again, and again, tears flowing from her eyes, her vision blurred, she didn't care, she was furious, she was mad at the world, at her feelings, she was mad at love, how could love treat her this way? How could something so passionate and caring be so hurtful and sharp? How could the feeling she trusted, the feeling she embraced, turn on her, betray her like this this? Was it her heart, was her heart not ready, was she one who wasn't ready for love? She felt those feelings, she told herself she loved her, she said she was ready, but was she?

"Applejack", Big Mac said, approaching her, "maybe you should stop, Ah don't want you to get hurt", he reached out and touched her shoulder.

"Get off of me!", she pushed him away, "Ah'm fine!", she kept bucking the tree, her hooves causing the bark to peel.

"C'mon", he reached out again.

"No!" she pushed him away, "Ah said Ah'm fine!", she wiped her face, "just let me do mah job!"

"But you're not fine, look at you, Applejack, you haven't bucked a single Apple", he pointed to the empty bucket.

"It ain't me, it's this blasted tree!", she kept bucking, "it ain't doin' what Ah want it to do!"

"Applejack just stop", he reached out again.

"No!"

"Please, you're not doin' any good by--"

"No!", she repeated.

"Damn it, Applejack, just stop!", he yelled.

She stopped and looked at him, her eyes wide and full of tears, she closed them tightly and looked away from him.

He put his hoof on her shoulder, "what's wrong?"

She tried to hold it in, but couldn't, she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly, "Ah loved her!" she said, now crying, "Ah loved her and she rejected me!"

He hugged her, "who rejected you?"

"My best friend, the one Ah thought loved me back, but Ah was wrong, she doesn't love me like Ah love her, she doesn't feel the same way!", she squeezed tighter.

He hugged her tighter as well, "oh, sis..."

She cried on his shoulder, her tears falling, finally she released her anger, her fury, her sadness, finally it was being washed away. Her embrace loosened and just began sobbing, she needed this, she need to cry, to let go of her emotions, she had to get them out of the way, they were only hurting her, and now she could think, she could see clearly, but she couldn't one thing go, one thing stayed in her mind, one thing was clinging to her tightly and she couldn't shake it, love. Her love for her best friend was still there, it never left, it wasn't washed away, her tears couldn't remove that feeling, that emotion, that heaviness. The feeling she trusted, love.