Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo are very close to each other. So close, that they even see each other as sisters.
But so far, Rainbow Dash never told Scootaloo about her birthiversary. When Scootaloo finds out about it, she sallies out on a quest to get the perfect present for Rainbow Dash.
She even works together with her biggest enemy to get it.
But is the present she wants to get for her really what Rainbow Dash wants?
Is it really the best present she could wish for?
And what does a mysterious threat for Equestria have to do with it?
Written for #006 of the Season 4 WTG from Equestria Daily.
The prompt is:
"Author, Equestria is in peril! Assemble a team of one Mane Cast member and their foil with attitude!"
For this story I chose Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara.
Unfortunately, Scootaloo doesn't have a real foil, but since Diamond Tiara was the one that began to pick on her because she can't fly, I thought she is close enough for a foil of her.
This is also the very first My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfiction I ever wrote and also my first real fanfiction in general!
I'm no english native speaker, so, there are maybe still some grammar mistakes in it, even when I checked it carefully.
Feel free to point them out in the comments!
As I'm new to fanfictions, every feedback is appreciated!
The picture I use as cover art was drawn by RizCifra on Deviantart.
Nice story idea! Some grammar and punctuation edits would make it even better!
3912937
YAY, first comment! (\o/)
Thanks for your input and I'm glad you liked it!
And yes, there are probably still some grammar issues with it.
I'm no native speaker and this is the first time I wrote a story in english.
And unfortunately, I didn't had the time anymore to find a pre-reader before the deadline.
I hope it was enjoyable enough, even with some grammar mistakes!
ugh every time DT says that i feel sad
but good job none the less
3930248
That was intended. Scootaloo feels always sad when she says that, and so should feel my readers to get an impression of her sadness.
It's good to see that I was able to deliver this feeling.
Thanks for reading it and I'm glad you liked it!
Sheesh, Diamond Tiara is such a little bitch.
Another cute little story from you — here, have another follower.
4078728 Thank you so much, it's very appreciated!
I'm so glad my stories are liked!
You can't just make Diamond Tiara say that they are lost in the forest, then just go, "You know what? You will never be able to fly." Flying has nothing to do with the situation. That is pretty much the only real problem I have with this story. Other than that, I think it is pretty good.
4083663
You misunderstood the scene. Diamond Tiara is not simply calling her out for it that they got lost in the forest because of her.
She is angry, yes. But she is also afraid. And she has a condescending opinion about Scootaloo because of her disability and shows that off here.
What she does here is, to reflect Scootaloo's inability to fly on the situation. She is aware of it that being flightless has nothing to do with it that they got lost.
But since it turned out that Scootaloo is currently useless for them to lead them safely through the forest, she draws the line to the fact that she is useless for flying, or, more accurately, that her wings are, and uses that to wreak her rage over the situation on her and to insult her at the same time.
4084172
Well, I wouldn't know about that. I have never heard of someone doing that before. Seriously, never.
4084212 Well, then I apologize for putting something in my story you never heard of.
4084613
Despite some mostly minor grammatical errors (there is one sentence that is a bit hard to understand due to the formatting of it) and the lack of spacing between individual paragraphs making it a bit hard to read, it was still a great story
6447236
Thanks, it makes me happy that you like it. It's my first MLP: FiM fanfiction I've ever written, so it holds a special meaning to me.
About the spacing, if a story is really good or someone likes a story very much, he/she can enjoy it even without spacing.
I only make spaces when I switch the scenery.
Thanks for favouriting it!
6447292 You're welcome
I figured I would go back to the start of your works and read what you've done. This one is rough. Poor grammar and poor story structure: "And then" kind of story.
But, having read the other comments and knowing the context of its age, I still think it's fascinating to see the beginnings of a burgeoning author.
11649465
Thanks! I am currently pondering whether or not I should rewrite this story next year for its 10th Anniversary, to compare it with the original version and to see how much better I can write it today.