In Pursuit of Knowledge

by My Life of Discord

Prologue

As I was putting away one of the books in the pile, an alicorn walked in. He was new, or at least, I had never seen him before. Alicorns often came and went from the library, most of them being ambassadors from the alicorn government, and some of them being the few alicorns that had moved into Atlantis. Because of the fact that this was the largest library in Atlantis many of them would come in here to learn more about the cynogriffins.

This alicorn was a stallion. He was larger than most others, but had an average sized horn and pair of wings, making them look small on his body. He walked over, obviously nervous, despite being much larger than me. He had probably heard stories of how violent cynogriffins were. I won’t hold it against him. It’s something that is good to know while in a city populated by almost only cynogriffins.

“Hello,” I said, “Is there a book you’re looking for?”

“Not anything specific, just something on the myths and stories of the cynogriffins.” He replied.

“Okay, right this way.”

I led him down the halls made by the bookshelves for a little bit until we came up to the ‘Legends’ section of the library. As we walked I attempted idle conversation. We exchanged names, some small tidbits of information about each other, but neither of us were really interested in the other. When we got there, I pointed him to a book that would be good to start with, and went back to putting books back on the shelves. Usually I would’ve tried talking with him more, but I was feeling unusually lethargic today, so I just wanted to finish what needed to be done in order to take a nap.

I finished putting the books away, and went back to the alicorn to tell him that the library would be closing soon.

“Is it possible that I could check some of these books out?” He asked.

I nodded. “Come this way. Just make sure to bring the books back within one month.”

We walked to the counter. I marked down what books he was taking, as well as his name. After that, he left through the front door, making the door’s bell ring. Sighing a breath of relief now that I was done, I walked behind the counter and opened the door to where I lived.

The room the door led to was a miniature library by itself. There were books on the shelves, and a few here or there on the floor, or on my chair. I kept going, ignoring the mess, thinking that I’d clean it up when I wasn’t as tired. I went into the bathroom to clean myself up. I did my usual nightly routine of cleaning my teeth, and then taking a short bath.

Once that was done, I went into my bedroom and crawled into bed. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but it would have to do unless I could find some way to make more money. I fell asleep rather fast, and quickly started dreaming. This dream was strangely vivid, almost as if I hadn’t actually fallen asleep.

I was walking around a giant library, trying to find anybody that might tell me where I was. It was so large that I couldn’t see the ceiling, and anywhere more than 30 meters away from me was dark. Eventually I hit a bookshelf that was against a wall, and decided to follow it until I found the front desk.

After walking for a short time, I came to a door. Opening the door and walking through, I was surprised to see a small office room. In the office, there was somebody behind the desk: another cynogriffin. I could tell by her looks and the way she held herself that it was a female. She had grey fur covering all of her body, except for a black strip along her back that went all the way to her tail.

She looked over to me. “Hello,” she said, “I’ve been waiting for you here.”

“Where am I at?” I asked, somewhat cautious of whoever this was.

“Right now you are in my library. Kind of. You’re actually asleep in your bed, but your mind is here, with me,” she said, tapping her temple.

“Okay. Who are you?

“I am a god,” she said, surprising me with how abruptly it was stated. “Specifically, I am Seshat, a Goddess of knowledge. You should be able to appreciate that, being quite the knowledge seeker yourself. And before you ask any more questions, I’ll tell you why you’re here too. It’s because I have a proposition for you. There is something going on in your world that I want to join, but I need your help.”

“Why would a god need the help of a mortal like me?”

“I need your help because I am not allowed to interfere directly. A game was started recently between the evil God Tirek and the good Goddess Faust. It is a game that will shape the future of Equis. In this game, a God must choose a mortal that will be their champion. I have decided that because of your lust for knowledge, you would be a good champion for myself. It’ll give you an opportunity to learn more about some of the other species. Even some that have never been on Equis before.”

“What’s the catch?” I asked, knowing from living with cynogriffins that nothing was ever as simple as Seshat was making it seem.

She sighed, and said, “The catch, Andras, is that this game is also deadly. It is a fight between Faust’s champion, and Tirek’s champion, as well as their allies. I have allied with Faust, because I know that Tirek would destroy and taint any information of the past that he could.”

Having heard and digested all of that information, I said, “Okay. Let me think about this for a little bit.”

“Very well,” she said. “If you decide that you are willing to be my champion, read the scroll next to your bed, and it will tell you what you need to know. Do not open it until you are sure that you want to be my champion.”

Right as she finished saying that, I started to black out. I hit the floor of the library and woke up, back in my bed inside of the library. I looked on the table next to my bed, and saw that there really was a scroll that I know was not there when I fell asleep.

“So she really is a god. Or at least, she has some modicum of power,” I thought to myself. Remembering what Seshat had said, I didn’t open it.

I went out to the library and checked to see if anybody was there. There was only one customer. Another alicorn, this time one that I knew, and he seemed to be fine on his own. I waited until he left, then changed the sign outside to ‘closed’ and locked the door. A decision like this should be the only thing I concentrate on.

Setting a blanket on the floor to keep myself comfortable, I laid down.

“The best way to do this would probably be to weigh the pros and the cons,” I thought. “On the side of the pros, this would be an amazing opportunity to learn more. Studying a new species is something that very few people get to do. If my notes on them were good enough, I might even start pulling in some more money. It could also dispel the rumors that all cynogriffins were violent beasts. Sure, most were, but not all.

“However, if I agree to this, she also said that I might die. That is a pretty big thing on the list of things I don’t want to do. Another con is the discomforts of travel. If this game has something in it that can kill me, I won’t want them, or it, knowing where I live, so I won’t be able to stay at my library. I would just stay at any of the multiple inns that are in Atlantis, but that would mean using money that I don’t have.

“Still, if I say no, what’s to say that Tirek might somehow win, when I could’ve been there to help stop him? If something like that were to happen, and if somebody were to die, I would never be able to forgive myself.” Sighing, I stood up and walked over to the table beside my bed. Cautiously, I picked up the scroll.

Expecting some type of magic to be in it, I opened it up slowly, but nothing happened. Tipping my head in curiousity, I looked inside. Instead of any type of enchantments on the book, there were only words. The calligraphy was some of the best I’d ever seen, which I suppose should be expected of the Goddess of knowledge.

Inside, the scroll read “Hello Andras. I am glad that you have decided to be my champion. I know that you will be a very good one. Now, let me inform you a bit more about the rules of this game. One thing that Tirek made Faust agree to was that no champion was allowed to be stronger than his at the beginning of the game. Thankfully, you are allowed to become stronger than him at any point after.

“Along with that, I think that it would be smart to mention that not every champion you meet will be friendly with you. It is also likely that you might not even realize they are a champion unless some form of indication is given to you. There will be a few others who have aligned with Faust just as I have, but there will also be ones that have decided to ally themselves with Tirek. Although I am not able to help you directly, I am allowed to give you some things to help you on your way.

“Firstly, there will be a bag of supplies beside your door, to start you on your way. The largest thing I am giving you though, is access to my library. If you meditate while focusing on whatever book or piece of information that you need, your mind will eventually enter my library, right at whatever section you need to be at. Along with meditation, you can also go there during your sleep, but only if you focus on wanting to go there.

“Once you leave, I would suggest that you try going north. You might be able find some of the others that are willing to help Faust. For now, that is all I can tell you. Later on, if there is something I need to tell you, I’ll make sure you get the information. Goodbye until then.”

I rolled the scroll back up and set it on the counter. Realizing that my life was now possibly at risk, I started towards the door.

“The pieces that are with Tirek will definitely want to fight me, but Seshat didn’t say about any other possible dangers,” I thought. “It probably wouldn’t be too smart of an idea to stay in one place for too long.”

Going up to the door, I saw the bag of things that Seshat said would be there. Sifting through it, I saw some food, a tent, a map, and some money. Opening up the map, I found where I was so that I would know which way to go. Folding it back up, I returned it to the sack. I opened up the door, and took the first step of my new journey.

Comments

[Xexilf]

This. ... Um.... In short: This is terrible.
Ok, I´ll try to be a bit more constructive:

First: Show, dont tell. A lot of this is endless dry descriptions of not really important things.

Second, your writing fells wooden and repetative. Vary your wordchoices a bit.

Third, the main character. We learn next to nothing about him, we are only told some things (Again, show dont tell). He dosent draw you in, and just seems boring. He also has dangerous hallmarks of a mary sue.

Theres no buildup, he just is in a library, interacts with a character that seems barely there, then goes to sleep while endlessly narrating everything around him, gets chosen by a godess with some of the most scripted, wooden sounding dialouge ever, has an internal monologue about it, consisting of captain obvious statements and more descriptions of things and traits. And then goes off, after another long description fof things from the scroll.

The world. Now, chessgame of the gods is a thing, so it could be forgiven if not everything is spelled out. But we know next to nothing, and what we have we dont see, its just described to us.

And the summarys. They just scream "badly written mary sue". And they seem to contradict each other, unless a cyrogriffin is a winged wolf. Which may be, while there is endless description of unimportant things, the reader still dosent know much.

I will give you points for correct grammar and spelling as far as i could see.

Still on the whole.... burn it down, and scatter the ashes. This... will not end well.

[PetitPoney]

3982344

First: Show, dont tell. A lot of this is endless dry descriptions of not really important things.

If you don't explain at least the basics to people who need it, they're never going to get better... When you say that, explain. Especially when it's about "show don't tell", the less understood writing notion ever, and a notion that one could very well shrug off sometimes anyway.

the main character. We learn next to nothing about him, we are only told some things (Again, show dont tell)

How is that related in any way to "show don't tell"? Explain.

But we know next to nothing, and what we have we dont see, its just described to us.

Now that's slightly better than just throwing "show don't tell" at the writer.

And they seem to contradict each other, unless a cyrogriffin is a winged wolf.

It is.

As for the rest, well... I probably should have paid more attention to that guy's fic (I'm supposed to at least preread them all for the Chess Game prequel, but he wasn't there often so it was hard to help him, the most I could do was to fix his grammatical errors)...