Page generated in 0.029 seconds
Total duration
598 users online
841,523 hits today, 2,159,462 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Imagine if Twilight pulled Spike and the Mane-iac out of the comic while their 'in session'.
the music and chapter
This chapter was... very weird.
Im sorry but this was the biggest bullshit ever....
like no reason would that have happened nor Fluttershy flipping out. I know its your story and all but... this doesn't feel like part of the story.
whorebag the weirdest insult i've ever heard.
I don't think I've ever seen Fluttershy any more out of character than I just did
I liked it
4085510 Exactly.
This story needs just a dash more in-characterness, and maybe a little more... depth of what's happening in it. Other than that it's a great idea, and fun read.
4085793 Do you think that maybe you can help me? I am starting to get a couple dislikes, and i want way more likes than dislikes. please. if you can, please help me. I already had one guy saying that this is "Pure bullshit" and I saw a few people criticizing me, because of how Fluttershy was furious on my latest chapter. I don't mean to break her character, I just thought it would be more cute. Can you help me if you can?
4086267 I'm not really sure if I'm the type, but, I can say that the Fluttershy part was not cute, as for the other characters you got them right, even Fluttershy originally, although a bit more of Mane-iac's usual behavior showing through might be good. What I said about depth is... hard to say... try going to some of the stories out there, my favorites might be good, like... "Discordant" and see how the flow of things differs from this story. I guess I'll also try to articulate it, your story snaps from bit to bit with not enough there to keep it working, most stories have a good pace, not to slow and over detailed but not fast and lacking in detail either. Also, your sex scene, and Spike rocks it in Maretropolis were good but they detract from the idea that this is Spike and the Mane-iac actually spending real "friend or something more" time together, as well as Spike's lack of reaction to such an unusual, unfamiliar, and... frankly unwarranted move from The Mane-iac. I'm sorry if this might go against any of what you plan to do with this but it's what I've noticed.
To other readers, if there's something I missed, or you could explain better please respond.
4085510 Are you saying that you hate my story, now? because I can make a few changes if you want.
4087672
I don't hate the story, just put up an OOC warning next time XD
It'll help when people flame it
4087676 What does "OOC" mean?
4088006
Out of character
4088008 Oh! I see. I don't mean to get Fluttershy out of character, if that's what you think. I thought that it would be cute to see Fluttershy stand up for Spike like that, because I wish that Fluttershy would pay much more attention to him on the show. And I was starting to worry that Fluttershy doesn't care about Spike on the show anymore, because she hasn't payed that much attention to him since the very first episode. You understand what I'm saying?
4088025
I getcha, but her calling Twilight a cunt is just a litttttle bit out of character.
A bit= A fucking lot.
4086346 I understand. I just wished that Fluttershy would pay so much attention to Spike, like in the very first episode, you know?
Please could you try to use other music references then kingdom hearts, also did you have to use that dopey slave idea, he's not treated like a slave, he's treated like a kid who can't stand chores. maybe he knows twilight prioritizes appointments, and saving ponyville/equestrian over cleaning. spike has fun a lot too dude.
4088045 What about the rest of what I said?
gah! This chapter came from left field.... i don't even know how to respond to this.....
So.. many errors... release the grammer dalek!
4263676
Corectinate the mistakes, cor-rec-ti-nate, cor-rec-ti-nate, COR-REC-TI-NATE!!!
Woah. Shit just got real folks
Whoa. Fluttershy snapping was totally out of character. That came completely out of Left Field. I don't even want to go near Left Field cuz i have no idea what's gonna come out of it. It's scary.
Still and interesting fic, tho.
I guess something I could add that doesn't seem to have been said yet is why Fluttershy seems to want the credit for the Mane-iac in the first place. She's really not the kind of character who cares at all about taking the credit for something, regardless of whether or not she deserves it.
Damn, remind me never to make Fluttershy mad. It is kind of strange that Twilight never invited her to her birthday party during the time when Rarity had to work on Twilight's dress. As for that last moment Spike had with the Mane-iac, I like how you added KH music, since I even love the first Kingdom Hearts game since I was 10. I think you've got really good talent as a writer and I hope you excel at many more stories you might write.