Chapter Four
Promises
Chapter Four
The ritual was complete. Her worries lessened. She’d have time, all the time she needed after her friends were safe in a chamber deep beneath the palace and Canterlot, safeguarded by an impressive array of spells that only very few ponies might be able to break through. Its strength required a spell to keep it hidden, yet another piece of magic usable only by truly advanced casters. A requirement to keep this complicated matrix of defenses going, however, was relatively regular reinforcements, once every five to ten years, depending on the spells involved. Trying to get used to new habits that needed such rare attention was very difficult for any pony, not just a Princess.
Time did as it does, it passed. Years and years went by as the various ’deaths’ and disappearances of the Elements were investigated thoroughly and eventually dropped. A day of mourning was held when it became clear to Equestria that other than Twilight, the Bearers had vanished. During the official funeral, the youngest of the Princesses spoke at length about the virtues of her friends in the present, some taking this as sign that she hadn’t yet come to accept that they were gone. Yet, she continued undaunted with her duties. Time passed.
As Equestria grew with the decades, Twilight found less time than she would’ve liked for her studies in regards to immortality, every Princess having more work to do. So it was that a mere four decades after the original ritual, the defensive spells were not reinforced in time, weakening and so permitting curious or sensitive ponies to detect this secret chamber. Another year or so later, an alabaster pony with both wings and horn found herself trotting through the caves beneath the capital on a whim that getting to know the caves better might be nice. Chance, as it were, ruined a great many more plans than anything else in history.
The pony, the alicorn, Princess Celestia, stumbled upon a strange magical signature within these caves. Curiosity brought her deeper and closer towards it. She came upon the chamber’s entrance, skilfully removing the defenses without triggering any alarms. Walking in, she found it to look more like a shrine. Five eerily life-like statues were arranged as five points of a six-pointed star in the center of the room. One unicorn, two pegasi, two earth ponies. Something, she felt, was wrong. A simple place of worship would not have such potent defenses, she argued with herself. Moments later, she noticed the orange sheen encapsulating the statues. With but a thought, a spell was cast. Its result would have made her grow pale white in horror, had she not already been blessed with a white coat.
After a few moments to get over the shock, she carefully probed the spell enveloping the five missing Elements as well as the remnants of the Chamber’s protective magic to try and find out the responsible pony’s magic signature. What she got after mere moments of probing made her eyes widen. ’Horror’ no longer applied or was a strong enough feeling to describe what was going through her. Leaving the chamber as it was, she teleported first into her private chambers to don the full solar Regalia. In her haste, she forewent telling Luna of this development, only concentrating on the pony that had created that chamber. She didn’t even consider the effect that confronting this pony in full regalia might have. So, for the first time in a very long while, Celestia did something rash.
She interrupted another Alicorn’s court with naught but the ’pop’ of her teleportation as warning. the many shocked faces didn’t register with her, only looking at the purple pony sitting on a similarly coloured throne. "Princess Sparkle, we need to speak. Urgently."
Seconds passed as Twilight stared at her former mentor, now sister. Then she waved nobles, guards, servants and claimants out until only the alicorns remained. "Celestia, what’s the matter? Why are you dressed up like that?"
"Have you ever explored the caves underneath this city, Twilight?"
The former librarian tensed involuntarily, though so little only very few would ever notice it. The pony in front of her being one of these. "Once or twice perhaps. Why?"
"I found something close to the mountain’s foundations. So deep that I cannot imagine a normal pony ever having ventured there."
Twilight tensed the slightest bit further, keeping her expression as neutral as she possibly could. Celestia still appeared to read her like a book. Nevertheless, she decided to keep feigning ignorance. "What did you find there, in these depths?"
"A chamber."
"Containing?" Eyes narrowed a little.
"Five ponies, thought to have died decades ago."
"You imply that they’re alive?"
"In the most sophisticated, beautiful stasis spell matrix I have seen in my life, surpassing even Starswirl the Bearded’s greatest works on the subject."
"Truly?" She knew she’d been busted.
"Indeed. This chamber also was defended by a most impressive array of spells that required regular maintenance. Luck and skill permitted me to disarm them without alerting their caster."
Twilight stayed silent. She hadn’t expected for this to happen. At the same time, she admonished herself harshly about forgetting to reinforce the disguising magics.
"I then used a spell to ascertain this pony’s magical signature. Needless to say, I was more than a little surprised at finding it very familiar indeed." Celestia took a step forward. Twilight tried to be prepared for anything, by now looking ready to try and evade a pouncing tiger. Still, Twilight said nothing.
"What have you done to your friends, Twilight Sparkle, and how long has this been going on?"
"There are techniques to copy and fake another pony’s signature very convincingly," she began, though petering out.
"Not an Alicorn’s. That is an impossibility, reinforced by hundreds of learned scholars over the centuries."
The last excuse was gone, however flimsy it might’ve been. She couldn’t brush the blame off herself anymore, both she and Celestia knew that. Still, she only looked at the solar Princess for now.
"What have you done, Twilight?"
"What we agreed was needed."
"Who is ’we’?"
"My friends and myself. Us six."
"Why did you do this?"
"To keep to the plan I had formulated for us."
"What plan?"
"The plan to keep them in stasis."
Celestia’s temper flared briefly and unexpectedly, the room momentarily brightening. "Cease speaking in circles!"
"Why do you even want to know?"
"They’re the elements' holders. Their safety is imperative, and from what it looks like, they’re being tortured. Remember what Discord said about his stone prison!"
"They are safe. Discord wasn’t slowed to the snail’s pace they are. There is nothing to worry about."
"Yet they cannot use their abilities to defend Harmony. Just what is this ’plan’ of yours?"
Twilight sighed. She had been dreading this encounter for a long time, being questioned like this. "The plan is to not lose each other. Ever."
Celestia tilted her head a little, confused by the answer. "What? How would that justify imprisoning them like criminals?"
"They are in this voluntarily. Were you to remove them from their current state, they would not agree with your decision."
"And just why did they agree to this?"
"I didn’t want to lose them. I still don’t. So I’m trying to find something, anything that might keep them alive for as long as we desire."
Silence reigned for a time, Celestia staring slack-jawed at the other Princess. She shook her head, not wanting to believe what she’d just heard. "You’re joking. Please tell me that you’re not being serious about making them immortal."
"On the contrary, Celestia. There is nothing that I’d be more serious about than this."
It took a few moments, but then Celestia’s gaze hardened. "No. No, this isn’t going to happen, Twilight. This ’plan’ of yours goes against everything we and the Elements stand for. Keeping them alive will result in nothing but misery and pain for all of you, Twilight."
"Why should I believe you? How do I know you’re telling the truth?"
"Immortality is not a gift, but a burden. Very few can truly cope with the repercussions."
"Yet here I stand!"
"I had nothing to do with that, Twilight. It was the Elements who-"
"Given to me and my friends because of your machinations! Why couldn’t you have found a more willing pony who wouldn’t mind being manipulated?"
"Things don’t work that way. Your friendship had to be genuine for the Elements to reawaken. I did what I felt was necessary."
"You could at least have told me about your plans after we defeated the Nightmare."
"That would have endangered the budding friendship, Twilight. You could’ve lost the Elements that way."
"Did you ever intend to tell me? Or had you planned to keep me in the dark until I was on my deathbed?"
"I wanted to tell you. I really wanted to tell you so much... But I didn’t want to disrupt your friendship, I didn’t want you to start doubting your friends."
Twilight sighed deeply, audibly. "Well done on that one. There’s no way in Tartarus that I’d betray them in any way. Which means I’m going to keep my promise to them."
"You’re going to have to break that promise. Aside from no such spell existing, I would never permit anypony, not even you or Luna, to simply disregard the natural order of Life and Death."
"Then I’ll just have to invent that spell in the first place and use it when you’re busy."
"This is not a joking matter, Twilight. If you do not heed my warning, I will have no choice but to prevent you access to your friends."
A sudden shockwave forced Celestia to take a step back. Twilight’s horn was lit, magic shining brilliantly from it. "If you even dare to touch them, Celestia, I swear...!" She let the threat hang like an obsidian sword in the air.
"You won’t be able to stop me if I decide to put my mind to it. You wouldn’t even notice that they were gone until it was too late." Celestia unfurled her wings, spreading them in a subconscious attempt to look more intimidating. Inwardly, she regretted having allowed things to progress to this point, a tension in the air like she hadn’t felt it in over a millennium. Only this time, there was no backup plan she’d prepared, no Elements to aid her.
The two alicorns simply stood where they were, neither eager to make the next step in any direction. the tension was thick enough that one might cut it with a knife.
"I will not back down from my plan, Celestia. I will see it to fruition."
"And I cannot let that happen. Please, Twilight. I do not wish to fight you. There must be another solution."
"I don’t see any. We’re diametrically opposed in this case, and it looks to me that this can only end in blows." She kept her horn lit, the room’s walls a purple hue. Celestia sighed, then let her own horn flare with pure, white-yellow magic.
"So be it, then. Would you prefer a formal duel or proper battle?"
"Fighting without rules would only needlessly endanger ponies. Duelling is cleaner and more efficient."
"I would suggest a different locale regardless, to ensure that our subjects do not think badly of either of us. We both still are-"
"Yes, I get it. You don’t want them to see us have such a great and intense ’discussion’. How about the old castle in Everfree?"
"As good a place as any other deserted one."
Nodding at each other, the alicorns let the built-up energy in their horns take shape of a spell, teleporting them roughly into the old forest’s direction. In the moment they vanished, a third pony pushed the door to the room open, only to witness the magical residue disperse. She immediately set upon following the two powerful magical signatures, taking to the air moments after stepping out onto the closest balcony.
Canterlot beneath only witnessed the dull rumble of a pony at high altitude accelerating beyond the speed of sound with great control, lacking any sort of rainboom equivalent.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
As Twilight and Celestia reappeared high above Everfree, both instinctively spread and beat their wings slowly upon feeling gravity reassert itself to try and pull them earthwards. Celestia was the first to dive down, looking only for a few moments before recognising some ancient landmarks and so allowing her to fly towards the old castle. Twilight waited a few seconds before following the elder Princess. The flight was short and soon enough the castle was in sight. The two landed in a clearing at the edge of the ruins.
Celestia looked at her former student and fellow Princes with a sad smile. "What sort of rules would you prefer, Twilight?"
"No summons. No lethal or banishing spells. No spells with a greater area of effect than this open area here," she said, motioning with her wings to indicate its boundaries before continuing, "no direct mind manipulation magic. Until exhaustion, surrender or first blood, whichever comes first. Everfree must not be left for the duration. That would be it from my side."
Celestia nodded. "All reasonable. But let us attempt to keep collateral damage to a minimum."
"Very well." Twilight’s horn lit up in the same moment as Celestia’s. "Then let’s begin."
Any pony who might have watched or read accounts of previous battles of alicorns, be they between each other or against a nearly equal foe - such as Celestia against the Nightmare or Chrysalis, the sisters against Discord and so on - might have expected this duel to be very similar to these battles. Slow, methodical, trying to overpower the opponent with magical beams and little finesse.
One might forget, however, the circumstances of these fights. Against the Nightmare, Celestia knew that her sister still was somewhere behind that mask of terror and hate. Battling the Changeling Queen, Celestia couldn’t unleash her full power for fear of risking the castle and its inhabitants. Discord was a physical god with near-unlimited power against the Elements of Harmony, the sisters merely channelling that incredible power.
This time, however, the opponents were two ponies who not only felt sisterly love for each other but they also had agreed to a set of rules, something that hadn’t been the case in these other fights. Thanks to those factors, the two alicorns didn’t merely fire against each other at full blast.
They vanished the moment the duel had officially begun, reappearing hundreds of meters away from each other. Celestia unleashed a barrage of spells with a flick of her horn before a powerful beat of her wings propelled her into a wide curve around her opponent. Twilight took that same split second to extend her senses and conjured a magical barrier, its sloped edge angled to deflect incoming projectiles and spells. She then brought her full attention towards the alabaster alicorn who already had completed a quarter-circle around her. Moments later, Celestia broke out of her trajectory to avoid the burst of magical projectiles aimed ahead of her, barely evading the absurdly sharp icicles.
For each move and every attack one made, the opposing Princess had a counter ready despite the incredible speed at which they hurled precision magic against each other. Their spells deliberately lost coherence after inevitably missing their targets, leaving the twisted trees and bushes around the clearing unharmed. Even though Twilight and Celestia were moving and teleporting faster than any normal pony would ever manage, their incredible precision spoke of great control and concern for their surroundings.
However, knowing each other so well - and having practised duelling in the years after Twilight’s ascension - they were evenly matched. Their control and precision made it so there were no surprises: if either had tricks that might deliver a decisive victory, neither appeared eager to used them. It was a stalemate, and one neither was willing to break.
In Ponyville, the closest Equestrian Settlement to the duel’s location, only the occasional strange light could be seen. The Everfree dampened sounds far too well for the din of battle travel over such a distance. The light show was unusual but no pony saw it as dangerous, so close to the horizon over the haunted forest.
A single pony in flight watched the distant spectacle. She adjusted her course towards it. She had been following the residue of teleportation, its faint signature leaving her unsure whether she’d taken the right direction. The battle before her eyes confirmed her destination. She accelerated further: the speed of sound a mere plaything for her, tossed aside as she reached thrice its velocity with thin, elongated clouds of condensation following in her wake. As her target - the old castle - came into sight, her altitude began to drop, faster and faster as she went in an almost vertical dive.
She saw another clash and several spells impacting powerful shields. The combatants separated, ready to strike again. No such chance was given: she impacted the ground at supersonic speed, the sound and the shockwave stunning the two alicorns momentarily. An enormous dust cloud rose into the air, obscuring all sight inside the clearing. She let her magic flare up, summoning a great gust of wind. The cloud vanished in but a moment’s time.
She stood in a crater several hoof-widths deep, horn glowing fiercely with dark blue magic. In a Voice she had long ceased to use, Luna spoke.
“Cease.”
The other alicorns could only stare at the sudden appearance of the Lunar Princess. Neither had ever expected this of all things to happen. Twilight was the first to regain her wits, “L-Luna?”
Then Celestia, “Sister! What are you doing here?”
Luna only sighed. “You both should be ashamed of how you’re behaving. Like little foals, stubborn and unrelenting, you throw a temper tantrum because you might not get what you desire.” She looked sternly at the ponies she considered sisters, both stepping back, looking at the ground with their ears lowered. Still, the Lunar Princess continued, for now looking towards Celestia.
“In your blind fear of ponies who might share our burden of longevity, not only did you forget that even we immortals will one day find our end, but far worse: your actions are pushing our young sister away. What happened the last time a sister of yours felt overwhelming neglect and resented you greatly? Do you remember such an occurrence, sister?” Celestia flinched away, eyes closed tight. Luna deemed it harsh but necessary, and it would keep her older sister busy for now.
Twilight, meanwhile, was at least in part curious now. “You, you know about my plan..? But I never told you anything about it, Luna. How?”
The first response was a chuckle. “Do you think me blind and deaf, Twilight? Even before your friend Rarity confided her conflicted thoughts in me, I had more than an inkling of what you might be planning. Unlike Celestia, the memories of Starswirl the Bearded’s works were relatively fresh in my mind. Rarity only confirmed what I already suspected.”
Twilight gulped hard. “I, Luna. I’m, I..!”
A raised hoof prompted Twilight to shut up. “Though you were a fool to think we would never find out about your project, though I may find it childish and selfish, I understand very well your position, Twilight. Both I and Celestia have lost ponies who were very dear to us, even more so than the ponies of Equestria already are. Close confidantes, friends, lovers…” She sighed wistfully. “Some day, you must come to terms that the four of us - you, me, Celestia and Cadance - are both cursed and blessed.”
Twilight shifted her head a little, curious. “What, what do you mean with that?”
“Let me try to explain it. We are cursed with immortality, for we have to watch those we care for and those we grow close to live their lives and eventually die, unable to do anything about it. We are outside the natural cycle of birth, death and rebirth, for the most part. No matter how much you want it, things cannot and will not stay the same. For that very reason, you will have to say your final goodbye to your friends at some point in the future. Certainly not today and not tomorrow, either. But be it in a decade or half a millennium, you will have to revive them from their sleep and spend a last few years with them.”
“But, but..! If I find a spell, if I can make them immortal-,” Twilight stopped herself when she saw Luna shake her head slowly.
“It is not that I would not be happy for you to achieve such a thing, little sister. However, both I and Celestia have lived for a very long time. We have witnessed wonders and magics that would utterly dwarf even the greatest achievements of today. Even Discord, at the height of his reign, was unable to make immortals. He could bestow long, healthy lives, yes. Yet, giving true immortality like his own, he could never give. I and Celestia too have attempted many times to create an elixir or a spell, a ritual, anything we could think of that might permit us to keep some of our dearest friends.”
“How… How did you two and Cadance become immortals, then?”
“Forgive me, but that is something I do not remember - for myself and Celestia, at the very least. As for Cadance, she has never spoken about it and I suspect that she simply might have forgot as well. I for one do not know.”
Twilight nodded sadly. “I… I understand. And, how is it a blessing? If we’re doomed to watch everypony we love die forever and again?”
“We are blessed because we can remember them, Twilight. Though you might not have realised it quite yet, but we three - and soon you as well - are able to remember every pony we have met with great clarity. Whatever a pony might have told me a millennium ago I can still recall nearly flawlessly. We are blessed because we remember. Because we remember the best and brightest as well as the worst and most reprehensible. What is learned from books may be forgot in due time, but the things we learn from our little ponies, those will always be with us.” Luna turned her head towards Celestia, who was still cowering, but by now only mostly listening to the other Alicorns. “If we care to remember them and honour their legacy. If we do not forget the things they have done for us and all of Equestria in our supposed wisdom and all-encompassing knowledge.”
She turned back to face Twilight, who in turned snapped her head from staring at the Solar Princess back to Luna. “Mistakes were made, Twilight. Some grave, others less so, but all because we thought only of ourselves and not about others. As you and Celestia are guilty, so am I for not intervening earlier in the hopes that you two would find a way by yourselves.” She motioned for Twilight to follow, slowly trotting to the eldest sister.
“We can only hope to make amends, to recognise our failures and ask for forgiveness.” Leaning down, Luna gently nudged one of Celestia’s ears. “Can you forgive me for using such harsh words, Celestia?”
Slowly, oh so slowly, Celestia nodded. “Nothing… Nothing can compare to what I did to you, or what I was doing earlier, to Twilight. I’m so stupid, blinded myself and let myself be blinded. I forgot what sort of Princess I’m supposed to be.” She sighed, looking up at her younger sister. “There is nothing you have done for which you would have to ask forgiveness. The truth is harsh. I needed to hear it, much as I wished to remain ignorant of it. If anything, I must apologise to you for my actions.” The white alicorn then turned her head towards Twilight, eyes somewhat reddened. “My dear, dear Twilight… I, I’ve been... I’m sorry.” She bowed to the purple, standing alicorn. “I’m so sorry. I have no words for what I’ve done. For what I might have done, had Luna not intervened. Please forgive me. Not today or tomorrow. Maybe not even in ten years, just… Some day. Please.” By then, Celestia, the Sun Princess, was openly crying and staring at the ground in front of her.
“Celestia...” Twilight walked closer, carefully putting a hoof on her former Mentor’s shoulder. “I, I’m sorry, too. Like Luna said, we’ve both done things we shouldn’t have. I should have talked more with you before… before asking my friends to help me with this.” She sighed. “The truth is, I… hated you then. In the first weeks after that, uh, talk we had, if you remember. I shouldn’t have let my emotions take control of me as they did. But there I went, making grand plans.” The young alicorn turned to look at Luna, who had stepped some ways away, giving the two space. “Without Luna, it would probably have ended pretty badly today. And, I mean..,” She nuzzled Celestia just a little. “I don’t think I’m ready to forgive you just yet. And you don’t have to accept my apology for what I’ve done. But, maybe, just maybe, we can try being more open with each other. A bit more accepting too. Maybe we’ll work it out somehow, and… as for my friends.” She looked into the sky with a heavy heart.
“I’m going to try for a while longer. A century, maybe two. Two at most. After that, I’ll… I’ll free them. And we’ll have a last few, good memories.” She nodded, then looked at Celestia with the hint of a smile. “Is that alright?”
“If you wish, Twilight, then it shall be so.”
“Promise?”
“Pinkie Pie Promise.”
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Astral Sketch · 3k words · 23 3 · 1.5k views
- cloudedguardian · 3.3k words · 35 0 · 1.2k views
- Masterweaver · 2k words · 52 2 · 1.3k views
- cloudedguardian · 2.4k words · 63 2 · 1.9k views
- contodaslasganas · 20k words · 32 2 · 1.1k views
- Tortfeasor · 54k words · 43 2 · 1.6k views
- storm the castle · 2.2k words · 37 0 · 1.4k views
- TheTwerp · 14k words · 88 4 · 3.1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.185 seconds
Total duration
1,037 users online
1,505,988 hits today, 2,123,720 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
..... okay this has basically defeated my expectations. i was expecting uneeded tragedy or twilight forcing her friends into this, but what i got was far more itnersting and left with decent ambiguity.
perhaps twilight will find a way to have her friends ascend as well. or perhpas she will realize that she must let them go and spend the rest of theri days adventuring. it is not for us to know.
also it kinda works with some head canon i have. that celestia has endured the centuries by realizing that hwile all she loves is doomed to die, she has the fortune of being able to know far more beigns than any mortal ever could.
Very good story, although it ended more suddenly than I would have thought. All in all, it was interesting and enjoyable, although I didn't really see any unique spins on immortality, like the story had potential for. It could have gone into a totally different direction, and it would have made this story, ultimately, much more interesting (to me) and unique. Going with the fairly cliche direction for a theme of immortality will mean I will inevitably forget about this story, but I enjoyed it very much nonetheless.
Coincidentally, the story updated only a few minutes after I finished chapter 3.
Hang on...
It's over...?
...What the hell...?
I mean, don't get me wrong, but all that build up for, well, this?
I loved it, but I'm disappointed in the end.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Complete? Writer, I am disappoint.
Oh boo hoo, 'natural' cycle of life and death. Natural is such a good thing, isn't it? I am just so HAPPY to have a natural clock ticking down over eighty years and, no matter what I'm doing, no matter what I want to do, it just says 'Sorry, time's up'. Oh yes, I am so very, very happy!
please make an epilogue depicting whether she found something that made them immortal or ascend
or whether she let them go 
3861222 i think it is for the best we do not know. true it seemed to be building up to something, like celestia and luna tearing into one another, and i expected something tragic............... it makes more snese that luna would itnervene.
3862228
Not what I was meaning, really.
You don't spend THAT much time building up to this and end it on a flat note.
I'm all for an open-ended ending, but not like that.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3862279 shrugs, true. still a good story i would say.
Good buildup, followed by a bad ending on multiple levels. It was flat, not very climactic and I can’t even call it a real ending since there was no definitive closure.
Not to mention the fact that the five end up getting screwed if Twilight doesn‘t find a way to make them immortal. If the story were to play out one more chapter, they awaken to a world where all their friends/family are dead and Twilight goes, “Sorry girls, I just gave up, so you’re all going to die soon as well. But hey, we can still spend a few years together in what has become an alien world to you over the past several centuries so…there’s that.”
3861222
3862279
The ending's rushed, I admit that, but in part I wanted to get it over with when I was writing it. When my exams are over in a few weeks, I might revisit the last chapter, perhaps lengthen things and make it a more satisfying read if I can, but the last few sentences will most likely stay the same. In my mind, neither Celestia nor Twilight would want catastrophe to happen over their relatively 'minor' squabbles.
I'll try for a little less Luna ex Machina if I rewrite it, I guess.
3862133
I might write a sequel. It'd be interesting to see them adjust to the future, whether it'd last (spell found) or not (research failure).
3862589
It's mentioned in a previous chapter that they know that Twilight might not be successful in her search for the spell, but they express that they're alright with that (Unless I thought it but never wrote that bit down). The girls trust Twi to do the right thing, even if they might not be winners in the end.
As for the ending, as said above, I admit that it was rushed.
3845505
OH! Of course you are here!
3863274
Well... Yeah.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3863273
A possible rewrite?
Alright. I'd like to see what you do with that.
Regardless of the rather flat end chapter, this was a remarkably good story. I truly enjoyed it.
Well done, in any case.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3863291
Skeeter, you're a hoot.
Couldn't Twilight also take a different route and find a way to end her own life?
Dark, I know, but if the goal is to not live without them, that is the other successful option.
Okay, Lynn, you know I have been kinda involved in this story since the very beginning. And I loved it no matter what. It was only until today actually, that I gave my eyes the time took at the completed work and allow me to say here, that you did one amazing job on it. Everything what should have been there, was there. True that the ending might have been a bit disappointing, but look at it from the other way here. With the ending that you have, and the words it even ended upon, you can give the reader the opportunity and chance, to just sit back in a chair after reading this.
And just imagine. Imagine what Twilight and her friends would have done to make those memories and what would have happened afterward. Imagination, is the most powerful tool you can have as a writer. Not just your own, but also that of your reader. Think about that for a second or two, maybe it will give you some bits of light where it needs to be.
3863301 I'm more willing to say, sequel perhaps.
I'm not too disappointed about the ending. It feels... more open than that of similar fictions. More room for one to say "What happens next?". To let the imagination take hold. It does have room for the author themselves to write a sequel, if he or she so wishes, but I don't think it's a necessary thing.
Overall, this story kind of defied expectations for me in a lot of places. I'm happy with it. fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/363/1/e/clapping_pony_icon___twilight_sparkle_by_taritoons-d5pkpl8.gif
Good story, maybe the ending was rushed but there is something to be said for leaving the ending open like this. As for Luna interrupting, maybe she could have interrupted at a more intense moment.
As for sequels, immortality with a catch? Previous deleted comment contained a few lines of a stupid idea for immortality shenanigans where I accidentally clicked "Add Comment".
Long story short, robot Applejack lost her leg, got a new one, it was too sensitive, knocked her own head off, scurried away on it's own causing trouble for Ponyville.
Always underestimating Twilight Sparkle...
Plus, never trust Celestia in affairs that go against her interest. You bought yourself some time (MAYBE) .. Move them and keep the secret better.
I honestly hope twilights original plan works out. Maybe the other immortals start to die off and they give their life force to the others or something. But, I do enjoy the thought of such a sad story finding a happy ending.
3862133
I think it would run more like this in my mind...
200 years later:
"Isn't it time that you let your friends go?" asked Celestia in a manner that seemed more a statement of fact than a question.
"I am not ready to do that yet," replied Twilight. "And before you go looking for them -- they are hidden in a place even you couldn't find."
2,000 years later:
Twilight stood before her friends. She had never figured it would be technology rather than magic that would allow for the arresting of aging. If she had listened to Celestia she would never have had this chance...
Cue tender reunion.
Good thematic story cliffhanger.Upvoting this like a mofo.
Man... I never get my earth shattering dual between 2 good alicorns... Well the surge goes on.
Any way, good story, bro. The two things it was missing was: more argument for and against letting the five ponies stay in stasis and a epic alicorn fight. But like I said: really good story.
But it wasn't really a greek tragedy, the ending was to open and not sad enough.
Loved it. not much else to say I....loved it
You know in my opinion photographic memory in such a situation would be a curse, not a blessing. Forever remembering what was lost for eternity...