The Mirror Pool is a dangerous tool and after being asked by Princess Celestia our heroine Twilight Sparkle finds out what problems can arise from such strange magic. When a creature of little inhibitions and great magical power is released on the small town of Ponyville what can our stalwart friend do to stop her.
How can you stop somepony who knows you better than you know yourself?
Twilight Sparkle...meet Evil Twilight Sparkle!
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I like this.
do not dissapoint
this has potential
So Evil Twilight is evil, but appears to have feelings (purely sexual perhaps?) for the original...interesting. However, I am deeply upset that you have left out one crucial detail.
Evil Twilight has NO GOATEE
!!! HOW COULD YOU MAKE THIS OBVIOUS MISTAKE?!
I, my good fellow, am deeply disappointed.
1993790
are you saying that nothing is truly evil without a goatee?
if so my friend, you are deeply wrong
i give you....the daleks from "doctor who" and the xenomorph from "alien"
they don't have goatees
if, however you are saying that twilight cannot be evil without a goatee...i shall agree with you
Evil Twilight is not a clone, but a physical embodiement of Twilght's dormant sexual self.
Right?
1996505
Nearly there, I'm thinking what would happen if Twilight was no longer bound by her inhibitions? Normally she is a upright standing citizen who cares what other ponies think (especially the Princess). If you take that away you reveal her deepest desires and wants. Everyone has secrets, things they like but want to keep to themselves. It is my idea that Evil Twilight looks, acts and behaves as Twilight would if she cared less what others thought of her.
Hmm hmm hmm... this looks promising. Ponyville is in trouble... very, very sexy trouble I guess?
Tracked!
mylittlefacewhen.com/f/940/
Quite spectacular id say, all Twilight potential realized
Bring forth the next victim!
CELESTIA DAMN YOU DERPY!!!
Good for an interlude. It's also nice to know what Twilight was up to.
I like!!!
what twilight's voicing:
what she's most likely thinking:
this is looking good....i look forward to the next chapter when it comes out
I think it's a bit overly convenient that Rarity knows what's going on, but the chapter did a decent job of moving the plot along. I hate to say it, but this isn't my favorite chapter, good, but it feels lacking because of, well I mentioned it earlier about the whole overly convenient thingy majig.
I agree with Mattricole. If you were going to give rarity foreknowledge of Twilight's mirror pool trip, you should have put it in the earlier chapters, maybe you could put it in her recollection of Pinkie's instructions where she visits Pinkie (who is still at Rarity's having a dress made) and Rarity overheard and put two and two together. Still looking forward to next chapter mind you.
I disagree, I liked the chapter. I think you missed out on potential design space by having rarity know whats going on but that's not bad. I think "evil" twilight has a bit too much lust and not enough other typical evil aspects like sociopathic or ambitious behavior. Twilight's personality wouldn't exactly strike me as particularly concerned with romantic love in the first place so it feels odd that the first place she'd take it is lust, as opposed to wanting to become more powerful magically, and possibly politically.
Fav'd though, I look forward to seeing this play out.
To all, I do apologise if it seems overly convenient with Rarity's knowledge but I couldn't for the life of me find any other way to progress the story. I'm writing this as I go and while I have an idea for an ending...well I doubt it will be very good.
I was trying to look at it like the cartoon, or cartoons in general, as often you'll find characters have knowledge they shouldn't. Obviously I didn't bring that out very well.
As for Evil Twilight she is getting decidedly more evil next chapter. Still remember this is MLP I don't like making things truly...human evil.
Well, Rarity is wearing the deductive pants here.
It's not so much that she has a large grasp on the situation but rather how out of the blue this was. Twi didn't mention talking to Rare earlier so it comes off as lazy. If it weren't for the fact who is minding the Library (Not that this have ever stopped them in the show), one way this could has proceeded is having Spike helping Rarity in this scene and he offers the info about Twi heading to the pool. (After recovering from being shell-shocked by Dash's story)
Let us see how this develops.
Procrastination effects 25% of the world population.
It's no surprise that you also suffer from its effects.
damn disclaimers
such a tease.
I can't really say much about it though, I'm guilty of doing the same thing.
dat disclaimer
Yes, Evil Twilight is a tease.
2230606 I take it your a fan of TwiJack too?
2233676 Oh. Well crap, now I gotta get better at writing.
2233742 Oh well now that would be telling.
Tags need looking at, I removed Celestia and the CMC this morning as I did have a plan for them but it hasn't worked out like I thought. I'm not writing anything involving foals in romantic situations.
Other people can do that.
Wow, this really caught my attention. I really like it so far.
pretty good so far! just uh, when you say "could of", it should be "could've" or "could have". i know it sounds the same, but reading it just throws me off. just the only thing that seemed off.
2234039 Uh Where? I can't find the spot you're looking at.
Edit: Never mind found it.
Well this is getting interesting.
Do continue.
Disclaimer! Due to animal rights activists acting against me I am required to inform you that the three sheep harmed in the next chapters fight scene are indeed still alive. Actual level of alive may vary.
!LoL!.........Dat Disclaimer!
have i ever mentioned i love disclaimers?
Well that got different. In a good way mind you, but certainly different
Admittedly, I was at first worried this would turn into something similar to the Princess Molestia or Lunaughty stories. However, especially with this chapter right here, you've turned it into something darker, more complex, and more serious in tone. Impressive work; I hope you continue to work on this.
Love it!! (:
I like the idea of separate entities from the spell. The one thing I don't like is the lack of punctuation in certain areas. Run-on sentences are annoying.
That is all
When are you gonna update?
When are you gonna update?
2836672 Soon, I'm still finishing odd bits for Uni.
2838004 update?
Evil Lesbo Twilight..... Seems Legit.
OK WHATTUP WITH ALL THE LESBO FANFICS?! I MEAN I LIKE GETTING BONERS BUT NOT FOR LESBO FANFICS!!!! I DONT KNOW WHY I READ THEM THOUGH?
WAIT A MINUTE. OOPS. *Turns caps lock off* had caps lock on.
but still why so many lesbo fanfics? i dont get it.
Ok so let me get this straight. Twilight made an evil clone of herself that is pretty much a lesbian rapist wanting to rape everypony? I feel very safe around Twilight now! (<--- Obvious sarcasm is obvious
)
This story hasn't been updated since 2013.
Good stories always become forgotten.
5430627 why not? there's nothing wrong with lesbians.
5430627
My guess? A bunch of folks like to think of naughty stuff without parts from other guys swimming through their mind's eye.