• Member Since 7th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 7th, 2015

Theforrealdeal


I'm now only at thefrrealdeal.deviantart.com/

E
Source

Everyone knows that at some point, they are going to die. Nobody, however, likes to think about it. When we do though, we tend to get a little depressed.


Spanish Translation by Yanik

Thanks to Time Paradox for help with editing.
Cover image from Mandydax.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 43 )

Wrote this in under a week.

Flaws are almost guaranteed... :applejackunsure:

I don't mind if you give a thumbs down, but if you do, please give a reason why.

Such a sweet little story despite the sadness it centers around. Wonderfully done!

Very well done.


I've recommend this for featuring on Las Pegasus Tribune.

3804158
I wasn't sure if it needed the Sad tag.
Do you think it does?

This was great, and it somehow wasn't ...sad. I love sad stories and sometimes a sad story can get me thinking faster than anything else, but this... this was like a splash of cool water on my face, refreshing and unique. And beautifully short.

3804188 You can add the Sad tag, but you're also fine leaving it as is.

Sweet story:rainbowkiss:

3804263
I'm still unsure because some people have said otherwise...

3804324

Well it does mention something sad and for many people that is all it takes for them to add a tag (I have seen people add a comedy tag because there was a joke in it which isn't really what I would use it for).

Personally I don't think this merits the sad tag. Yes something sad has occurred but it really isn't the focus. The focus is more of thinking about death and the meaning of life. If this was more about the actual event that caused the sadness or if it dealt more about being sad rather than just being introspective about life/death then it might warrant a sad tag. Right now I think that the sad tag is not an accurate description though it would not hurt it either.

For me the tags are something to be used in order to help readers find story types they want to see and those story types revolve around themes. To me this story is not a theme about sadness it is about self discovery and philosophy. In other words a thinking sort of slice of life.

3804914
Wow.
Basically, you're saying it doesn't matter if it's there or not? :rainbowhuh:

Thanks for the input!
I'm still not sure if I'll add the tag or not because death in general can still be a sad topic I guess.
:applejackunsure:

Yes it is, poor Sweetie Belle.

3804952

I think the best way to look at it is what would be most helpful to the reader honestly. Do you think that adding that tag will help readers to find your story and if they find it will they be happy with it if they were expecting that type of story? If your answer is yes add it if no then don't. I think that is the best way to look at it.

On a more story related note I really love how you used Pinkie here. She seems to be a great choice for this story where you would otherwise expect Rarity or a CMC to be used. I think PInkie offers the best "out of the box" look into this issue that other characters would not do.

Interesting pick having Pinkamena Astronomy Pie giving Sweetie the counselling – I would have put Twilight in that position, myself. But, this is not a criticism at all, given that I'm actually a large advocate for Pinkie being more than just her fandom-perceived "randumb" self. She can be smart if she wants to and you certainly show it well here. A nice, casual chat about death to a young filly – I'm pretty sure only Pinkie could ease her mind the way she did. Bringer of smiles in the darkness. On that note, excellent imagery with her smile seemingly brightening the darkness.
A few errors in here, like you already mentioned, but nothing really glaring or detracting from the narrative overall.
Nice story! I'd like to feature this on my blog sometime. I believe Ogo already mentioned it: The Las Pegasus Tribune page, located here. I also recommend joining the group this fic was added to.
'Tis a good group, dedicated to finding and unearthing quality authors of low repute. You need more exposure. I'll do what I can. :twilightsmile:

3804977

Sweetie Belle waxing philosophical with Pinkie Pie during the night of the full moon in Ponyville Park by a fountain with Pinkie being completely serious during the whole death conversation.

She could already be dead and this is all a dream.

It just has that surreal thing going that makes one wonder if something more is going on.

3805363 I probably won't add it then.

Thanks again. I thought Pinkie would work well because she's the one that always tries to bring a smile to others and that there is a lot more to her than meets the eye. She'd be more of a comforter than being straight up honest.

3806198
Maybe she is :raritywink:

That's up to the reader to decide.

3805924 Um, sure. That'd be pretty neat!.

You said there were errors, could you give me some examples so I can try to improve myself?

3806399
I'll hunt for them sometime soon. I'll send them in a PM so your comment section doesn't look all yucky :rainbowwild:

Woo! I would say that I was surprised by this story, but editing it sort of takes that factor and murders it slowly with a plastic spoon.

Great one! You're going to do well in that contest!

3812867 It was a plastic spork.

DANGIT, TIME, GET IT RIGHT!

3812957 oh the spork! The bane of my metaphor!

3813095 Sporks are so much more brutal for murder.

3806198 Sweetie is having a "The Sixth Sense" moment as an adult.

3813192 The perfect weapon.... how did a comment chain for a story about Sweetie having an existential crisis turn to murder by spork?:unsuresweetie:

Great! Good feels, good philosophy (I love it when stories sneak you a little philosophy under the table...), and it gives Pinkie some interesting and endearing depth. Congrats on the EqD feature, too!

4176068
Thanks!
The hard work really pays off.

So are her friends dead already?

This was wonderful, and you confronted the subject head-on instead of turning it around on some meaningless pap about "better places" or the like. This is more how a conversation like this should go with a child, instead of a lot of false promises to numb the pain.

4176646
It's always better to tell the truth even if the truth is that you don't know, right?

4176659
There's nothing shameful about not-knowing, as having an answer is no substitute for having the RIGHT one. :twilightsmile:

4176678
Especially with a topic like what this covers, I don't think there is a right answer.

"You worry too much... you make yourself sad. You can't change fate, but don't feel so bad. Enjoy it while you can. It's just like the weather. So quit complainin' brother... NO ONE LIVES FOREVER!"

*Is Today the Day? makes Equestria Daily* :yay:
*Adren enters hipster mode for having featured this story on his own blog ten weeks ago* :coolphoto:

Can I base a comic on this story? I really like it :heart:

4182236
Sure that'd be awesome!

You've gotta send me a link if you do it and I certainly hope you do!

Thank you! Im drawing the basic storyboard now :heart::unsuresweetie::pinkiesmile:

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