Chapter 1: The Preparation/Celestia’s surprise/ the Arrival in Ponyville
It was a beautiful spring day in the circus winter quarters. The sun is shining, the birds were singing and everyone was loading up the circus train after a winter long rest. It is just like any other year when the circus train travels across the country. But this time, the circus is going to another place nearly never known to humans. The scouts have found a tunnel that can be a portal to what looks like another country.
The performers, acrobats, tightrope walkers, and clowns have just finished rehearsing their acts and began to walk up to their places in the passenger cars while the animal trainers helped the horses, zebras, camels, donkeys, ostriches, hippos, kangaroos, giraffes, and elephants clamber up to their train cars. The lions, tigers, bears, rhinos, and monkeys had to go into their cage cars and cage wagons that are ready to be loaded up to the flat cars along with the circus equipment. The circus animals feel confused as they boarded the train.
“If we aren’t traveling across The United States of America, then where are we going?” asked Leonardo the lion.
“Wait and see,” said the Mildred and Jordon the giraffes. The most puzzled of all the circus animals was little Dumbo. His mother, Mrs. Jumbo, read stories to him about far away lands.
“Are you sure we are going to another country other than the U.S?” asked Dumbo as he and his mother are boarding his private car.
“I have no idea,” She replied.
At last when all the circus equipment, crew, performers and the animals are loaded up on the circus train, the ringmaster climbed up to the caboose and shouted “All Aboard.” Casey Jr., the circus engine responded by tooting his whistle saying, “ ALL ABOARD, LET’S GO.” And with a big jerk and a brisk puff, Casey Jr. pulled the circus train out of the winter quarters and puffed his way to the portal tunnel.
After several miles of puffing down the track, Casey Jr. stopped at a switch with one of the tracks heading straight through the Florida countryside and another track leading to the portal tunnel. The engineer climbed out the cab and set the switch so the tracks reach the portal tunnel and climbed back in. Soon Casey Jr. was chuffing down the line again. Meanwhile Inside his own train car, Dumbo was listening to a story that his mother was reading to him. It is features a fire-breathing dragon living in cave filled with gems and unicorn living in an enchanted forest. His best friend, Timothy Mouse was sitting in his hat.
“That story sure is fascinating.” He exclaimed.
When Mrs. Jumbo was finished reading him the story, Dumbo looked up at her and said, “Do you think there can be such a place somewhere?” Mrs. Jumbo replied, “I’m not quite sure.” “How come?” Dumbo added. “Some things you see with your eyes, others, you see with your heart,” Mrs. Jumbo insisted. Dumbo is still confused after listening to what his mother has said. “Maybe I might learn what my mom means in the future,” he said to himself.
Finally after 20 miles of puffing down the track, the portal tunnel is finally visible for Casey Jr., the engineer, and the circus crew, performers, and animals to see. Among the animals were Mildred and Jordon Giraffe who managed to duck their heads just in time before their train car reaches the tunnel. Then there is a flash of white light as the train travels through the tunnel.
Meanwhile in Equestira, It was a beautiful spring day, the sun is shining, the flowers are blooming, and the birds are singing their gay little tunes. Inside Canterlot Palace, Princess Celestia was busy with her royal duties when a guard pony came in with some very urgent news.
“Excuse me, Your Highness, but I have something important to you.”
“Yes, what is it?” asked Celestia.
“I have to inform you that something foreign is come to Equestria.”
Princess Celestia gasped in shock and surprise “How can this happen?”
“I just saw it with the telescope from the watchtower,” The guard replied.
Celestia then rushed towards the observation deck of the watchtower and looked through the telescope. She looked out and saw Casey Jr.’s circus train but it wasn’t until she got a closer look at one of the train cars and noticed big letters on its side.
“Dumbo’s Flying Circus,” she read. “Looks like we have ourselves a circus train from another world.” Celestia said to her guards. “We better let Twilight and her friends know.”
Meanwhile, Casey Jr. was puffing down the strange track. Fortunately, he manages to stay firmly on the rails. It wasn’t long before the circus train saw a nearby town. The nearby town was actually Ponyville but the circus didn’t know that yet.
Soon, Casey Jr. applied his breaks when he reached the town at an empty area near a rail siding out of the way of the main line. Then, the elephants and roustabouts got of their train cars and went to work setting up the big top and other tents. They hustled and bustled unloading different wagons, which are filled with canvas, poles, equipment, and stakes. The roustabouts drove the stakes to the ground while some elephants raised the tent poles and others unrolling and lacing the canvas.
The ponies of Ponyville began to see the roustabouts and elephants set up the circus tents. A light green unicorn named Lyra was more surprised; she has been so obsessed by humans and dreamed of one day meeting them, now she has the chance to see some in action.
“Best Day Ever,” she said to herself.
Soon, a purple alicorn named Twilight Sparkle walked in with her #1 assistant, Spike the dragon. “What’s going on?” she asked to the crowd. “A circus has come to town,” one pony replied. For a while, both the circus roustabouts and elephants worked hard to set up the tent. When they are done setting up the tents, one of the roustabouts began to see the ponies and said to another, “Hey Frank, did you ever get the feeling that you are being watched?”
Soon the roustabouts turned around to see the multi colored ponies.
“We better tell the boss about this,” said Frank. While the roustabouts left to tell their boss, the elephants were left in awe and surprise. They’ve never seen such colorful ponies in all of their life.
“This is an extraordinary sight to behold.” Said one elephant.
“They have different colored furs that aren’t seen on a normal pony.” Added another.
“Welcome to Ponyville.” Twilight announced as she walked up to the elephants. “My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
The elephants were very surprised to see a real winged unicorn talking to them.
“Who is the leader of your group?” asked Twilight.
Soon an elderly elephant with purple circus headwear marched up to Twilight.
“I am the elephant matriarch of the circus and these elephants view me as their leader.” She said
“Who is the boss that these strange creatures mentioned?” Twilight asked the matriarch.
“Follow Me.” The elephant replied.
Twilight followed the matriarch to the circus grounds unaware of what she will see next.
3723000 Thank You
Awesome start
Good start but you should turn the circuses performers in to travel dimensions circuses. Just a suggestion only don't take it personal please..
3725350 I know but then Lyra won't be able to see humans right before her very eyes.
Having gone through the first chapter of your other story and glanced at this one, a glaring thing I feel I should note is your tendency to veer between past, present and even future tense. Frequent changes in tense can be done grammatically correctly and clearly only when you have mastered to art of staying in one tense.
If you were raised on these early Disney movies, this could be confusing as the narrator would shift between talking about a story in past tense (as something that has happened and is being described afterwards) to describing scenes in the present tense (as if they are happening now) as the visual shifts onto that of something happening within the story.
Generally your overall story should have a clear tense, with your narration talking in only past tense (most common) or only present tense (more difficult to do correctly). I don't know of any works of literature written in future tense though theoretically it could be done.
Characters will generally talk in present tense about either things that are happening or about facts, and they will talk in past tense about things that have happened before they have gone to tell another character about it, or about memories.
This is important for clear flow of your story, as readers can become confused and find it difficult to be immersed in and follow the story if they don't know whether something that is described as having happened in the past is connected to something being described in present tense, even within the same sentence.
4195628 I understand and I'm working on it.
love Dumbo as kid i still have on vhs tape and old toy of Dumbo that is rare it find.