Well, I finally did it.  I wrote one.

Tell me what you think.  Constructive criticism please.  One big question: am I doing Applejack's and Big Mac's accents right?  Their dialogue was a pain in the exhaust port.

My schedule is kind of hectic, so updates may be slow.  Sorry in advance.

Hey, I've been trying to do the same thing... as of three months ago.

I can't get the character interaction right, and I'm stuck on writing Chapter 1.

Your accents are cool for what that counts, and the idea is also nice. Good job.

Very good AJ's and Bic Mac's accents are perfect.

Definetly tracking this.

I love Warhammer 40k crossovers theres not many of them thats why I like this one already.

Oh lord, Tyranids in Equestria?

It was bad enough with that one fic with the alien coming to Ponyville, this seems to have the potential to be a whole lot worse.

Applejack and big mac's accents are spot on.  We need more Warhammer crossovers, especially good ones. This one is very well written and has earned my track. Good job

Very good writing style, it flows well. The spacemarines are relatable (The scene with the bored Ultramarine really helped here), the ponies act in character, and the spelling and grammar are great. Thumbs up and tracking, I hope to read more.

Praise the Emperor and pass the promethium, people actually like my writing!  (I should use that line more often.)  Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I'm glad you all think I did AJ's and Big Mac's accents right.

The idea for this crossover just spontaneously popped into my head, and I thought "holy balls this could actually work."  There is a disturbing shortage of 40k crossovers out there, so I'm glad that mine is well received.

Now that this chapter is out of the way, I should be able to get to the good parts soon.  As I said earlier, updates might be slow due to my crazy schedule, but I should be able to get on a roll soon.  No spoilers, but we should see some action in the next chapter or two.

Also, a nit-picky question: did I set a reasonable/accurate timeframe in the 40k universe?  I wanted some time where Captain Sicarius could realistically show up and not contradict 40k fluff (tabletop gamer talk for backstory).  If necessary I could make minor changes like that.

Thanks for all your love and tolerance.  Victoris Ultra!

yay a Warhammer 40k fic, I dont get enough of these type of Warhammer 40k fics where the Imperium or etc gets transported to Equestria. Your story looks good cant wait for more keep up the great work

Seems the Spess Mehrens are making an appearance along with the blasted Tyranids...Keep it up...

By the God-Emperor, this tome shall be glorious indeed.

The quality of writing was of far higher quality than many I have read, and for the use of punctuation and spacing I thank you!

The dialog and description was extremely well done. Almost felt as if I was reading an actual games workshop novel. The Ponyville part was also very well done. I will be tracking this along with the many above.

I only worry about the complete and total intolerance of ALL Xenos that is indoctrinated into the very genetic makeup of Space Marines. I certainly hope that Captain Sicarius does not choose to unleash the 'extrerminatus' and virus bomb all of Equestria back into the stone age...

For the Emperor, we shall reign victorious!

>>328417328417

Thanks for your feedback.  I have a stack of 40k books as tall as I am as well as at least $600 worth of models, so I would say I know something about 40k.

As for your concerns about the Ultramarines going all "purge the unclean," don't worry.  These are Ultramarines we're talking about, not Iron Hands (probably my favorite Chapter), or Black Templars.  I don't intend to completely skip over the issue, but we won't see a mass extermination.

Thought for the day: "Doubt is a sign of weakness"

Well, You've chosen most probably the most tolerating chapter in universe, you know, they even allied with tau once to clean planet from tryanids:)

Well seeing how current table top time is M41.999 iirc I would say it is a good timeline to have. Worst comes worst stick an Alternate Universe tag.

Glad to see more humanised space marines rather than the robots you get from Dawn of War and some other 40k fiction. Can't wait for chapter two!

Chapter 2 is up.  Enjoy.

Again, sorry about the wait.

Once again, tell me what you think.  Constructive criticism only, please.

Sorry about the lack of action.  I do not want to rush into the crossover or the violence, but I can assure you that both are coming.

Thought for the day: "A moment of laxity spawns a lifetime of heresy."

This is a really good chapter, the characters are still relatable. I especially like how you had Fluttershy say "Doctor who?" It was hilarious! Everyone still seems to be in character. I can't really think of anything to criticize.

Anyway, keep up the good work!

You doing quite well sir, you are keeping the marines in the way in which they should be seen without making it boring. Even if you are writing about the Ultra-marines, should have been black templars, but then that would have made an indefinitely shorter story. As for the lack of action, keep to your ideas and do not rush into them, a rushed scene is a bad scene and offers nothing but scorn that a mutant would receive, but i am looking forward to it. Especially the battle aboard the hulk, in which no doubt will have genestealers and maybe even a brood lord, always a good fight with those around.

As it currently stands you are doing the followers of the forty first millennium well, now keep it up before i report you to my death korps commissar or throw you into the trygon pits. Best of luck and good tidings, Gforce.

I cant find anything to critisize really

Its quite well done

And really theres no rush take your time with the chapters

If i survived over 50k words of intro in EVE crossover i can easly wait for this one, good job and keep level, because this is at satisfying one.

Also doctor in warhammer crossover? It was like expecting imperial inquisition.

You gonna give him bigger role, or he would be just background character?

Ah wonderful chapter and dont worry about the long intro I can wait it helps build up suspense, anyway keep up the great work

Like the story so far.

Just dont start with linking Celestia and Luna in any connection to the emporer. All three are immortal and godlike, but please dont.

Unless you can find a very original angle on it  

I must be doing something right, because everyone seems to like my writing.

As for the Doctor Who references, don't worry, the Doctor won't be a huge character.  He'll probably just make cameos.  As for the comment about linking Celestia and Luna to the Emperor, don't worry.  I have no intention of doing this, despite their obvious similarities.

Chapter 3 may be slow to arrive, but it will have action, so I'm hoping that it will be worth the wait.

Thought for the day: "Innocence proves nothing."

Hmm, a Spess Muhreens come to Equestria fic, eh?

"my doubts will be vindicated."

I think this means the opposite of what you wanted. To vindicate means to prove correct. If his doubts are vindicated, then he was correct to doubt Argus. But Argus was successful, so the doubts weren't correct.

"Not that she minded Big Mac pay her extra attention."

Should be "paying" I think. Also, SHIPPING!?! IN A 40K CROSSOVER!?! I WILL FLAY THE FLESH FROM YOUR SHATTERED BONES AND DRINK THE BLOOD FROM YOUR SKULL AS AN OFFERING TO KHORNE!

...

Sorry, I blacked out for a second. Where was I?

"Power armor and even Terminator armor were more commonplace,"

Really? Maybe compared to a Dreadnought, sure. But the fluff makes it pretty clear that Termie armor is rare.

Other than that, I have very few complaints. I'm not familiar with these specific Ultramarines, but I am getting pretty good characterizations from just about everyone. Description is rich, and I'm willing to wait for the action to pick up.

>>381649381649

WORSHIPPERS OF KHORNE?  PURGE THE HERETICS!

Thanks for pointing out these errors.  I'll fix them.

Also, don't worry.  This story will never have a "shipping" tag.

As for the Ultramarines, don't worry if you don't recognize them.  Sergeant Marcellus, Techmarine Maxilos, Veteran Dannelos, Scout Sergeant Darius, Ancient Maccabeus, and Epistolary Argus are all OCs.  Others, like Sicarius, are straight from my Space Marine Codex.

Thanks for your feedback.  Good to know that there are other 40k fans out there.

Thought for the day: "An open mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarred and unguarded."

This pleases me! Sacrifices must be made to Khorne in celebration. BRING FORTH THE GUARDSMEN!!!!

Do not listen to inquisipony Stalius, shipping serves the glory of Slannesh and must be continued! All hail Chaos Undevided!

That aside, this is wonderful. The few errors that have been pointed out are really minor and don't lessen the expirience. I am thouroughly hooked. Continue for the glory of Chaos!

Are the Space Marines going to go apeshit on the Equestrians like they would with any other alien species? Because if they don't then they become super OOC.

Erectin' a Chapter 3

I would've put it up last night, but my laptop battery died on me.  Oh well.

Also, I thought you all deserved a treat, so this chapter is over twice the length of the previous ones.  Enjoy.

You wanted action; here it is.  As always, tell me what I'm doing well and what I could improve on.  Next chapter will probably be slow to arrive (as usual).  Sorry.

Thought for the day: "Suffer not the alien to live."

...........................equestrias gonna get messed up soooooo bad

ALL HAIL THE EMPEROR!

O_O THIS IS AWESOME

Im seriously pumped now I cant wait till you post more of this master piece of a story

Image: http://swiftor.com/attachments/f2/9760d1327017588t-anonymous-launches-largest-attack-ever-shit-just-got-real.jpg

The action was very good. Overall, the chapter was great.

Applejack seemed a lttle inconsiderate at the end, considering that Twilight and Luna had just collapsed. Other than that, I didn't see anything wrong.

The battle was very well written, I especially enjoyed how you described the brood-lord. I did not anticipate the idea of the MLP universe's magic would be able to tap into the warp and the hivemind, an interesting development. Now, a question for you, upon the eventual tyranid land fall, will you be using the fourth, the fifth, or a mix of the two codexes to represent them if only for ideas and gribblies.

I'm just gonna guess that your going with the unicorns are psykers type of thing I've seen before if so cool. Anyway wonderful chapter keep up the great work

All the positive responses... for the first time in centuries, the ice-encrusted metal void where my hearts used to be has risen a few degrees Kelvin.

>>409985409985

CHAOS MARINES?  EXTERMINATE THE TRAITORS!

My inner Grey Knight aside, glad you liked the story.  But as I said before, this story will never bear a "shipping" tag.  If any shipping does happen, it will be just the sprig of parsley on top of an omelet.

>>411590411590

I chose the Ultramarines exactly because they are probably the most tolerant chapter in the Imperium.  If it were, say, Black Templars, then the story would turn dark and tragic real quick.

>>413360413360

I don't actually have any Tyranid codicies, but I play against them regularly.  Currently, I'm drawing from the 40k novel Warriors of Ultramar, as well as some of the Ciaphas Cain books, which often feature Tyranids.  As you could probably tell from the action scenes, the Space Marines will be actual Space Marines.  They're not just 33% tougher and stronger than a normal human.  Don't worry, they won't be utterly unkillable.

Thanks again for taking the time to read a story that I had no idea if it would even work.  It makes the entire job worthwhile.

Thought for the day: "Excuses are the refuge of the weak."

>>415480415480

Ah, i need to read more of the 40k books, my uplifting infantry man's primer just isn't enough, however hilarious as it may be. Anyway, I love how well you are doing in describing the nids, without making them feel like a xenomorph rip off, it makes me a very happy tyranid player. Till your next master crafted chapter dear sir.

thought of the day: "Faith is purest when it is unquestioning"

Well I can definitely agree. shit just got real! Lets look at what we have to work with here.

the marines

1) thunderhawk gunship ~ badass dropship with orbital and suborbital capabilities, enough firepower to rock the house, and troops...

2) speaking of troops, we have 5 Terminators w stormbolters and power fists (oh and 1 lovely assault cannon), 5 Assault Terminators with stormshiled and thunder hammer (lightning claws were not mentioned, but 1 or 2 could easily have them too...), 10 of the emperors finest with mixed armaments, 1 chapter captain with glory and hate vs the tyranid in his heart, 1 Apothecary to patch up the wounded, 1 Techmarine who can fix anything so long as he uses a monotone voice, and 1 Librarian whose powers are on the fritz due to the tyranids...  That's a whole can o whop-ass incoming!

on the bad side

3) 4 (count 'em!) hive ships. For those who don't know, these things are monstrous in size. Think the biggest baddest juggernaut in space you can and quadruple it, then double that... ya, they are F'n hugemoungus!  and they can easily house thousands upon thousands of bugs, (ya I know they really are not bugs, but common.. they're bugs!) some of em are super psychics and other horrible nasties...

and on defense...

4) Equestria- Magical world of talking ponies and other fantastic mythical creatures. No military to speak of excepting the palace guard (who likely have not actually fought in anything...). Limited technology, but has massive magical abilities! Since psychers and Magic are completely different, the Tyranids might be in for a nasty surprise... and I'm not talking about a surprise Pinky party, or am I?

In any event, well written! I can not wait to see what is yet to come!

Thought of the day, "Knowledge is power, hide it well!"

>>416529416529

Just reading your list of all my firepower brings joy to my emotional circuits.  Seeing as you took the time to list all this, I think I'll clarify some stuff.

The Ultramarines' 2nd Company is at full company strength, meaning 100 Marines, a Captain, and a pair of Dreadnoughts.  As I mentioned earlier, their Chaplain is currently serving with the Deathwatch.

They are joined by an Epistolary (high-ranking Librarian), some Techmarines (of which Maxilos is the highest-ranked), a 10-strong squad of Terminators, a Venerable Dreadnought (pretty much just an extremely old and experienced Dreadnought), and a 10-strong squad of Scout Marines.  Along with this, they have a full complement of transports, and combat vehicles.  I'm consulting my Space Marine Codex right now, and it says nothing about the numbers of combat vehicles or Thunderhawks that a company can use at a time, so I'll figure this out as I go.  Rest assured, there will be plenty of rolling thunder to go around.

Those extreme 40k nerds will probably have noticed that not all the Marines' wargear and/or organization is perfectly in line with the fluff (backstory/canon).  In the 5th Ed. Marines Codex, Techmarines cannot use conversion beamers, but I thought that Maxilos was enough of a senior Techmarines to get one.  Next, Terminator Sergeants can't take powerfists, which always struck me as odd, so I gave Marcellus one anyway.  Third, I'm writing with everyone having all possible wargear options available, so the entire Terminator squad could have melee weapons or guns as their situation demands.  For clearing out the space hulk, I split the squad in half, giving them a mix of ranged and melee firepower.  I'll probably do the same with the command squad at some point.

Wow, another long-winded speech.  But I'm glad that fellow 40k nerds are reading this, and they all seem to approve.

Thought for the day: "Knowledge is power, and we must seek it relentlessly."

I'm glad that you clarified what a full complement would consist of, mainly due to me being a very old-school 40k gamer (I played in the now forgotten 1st and second editions... wow I must be old!) and don't know what a 'full complement' would actually consist of. My only real question is this, how are the marines gonna get the whole battle-barge through the rapidly diminishing warp gate? I was under the impression that the Thunderhawk gunship was barely in range and only if they put the peddle to the metal! May be just my interpretation, and likely wrong, just wondering. :) Great fic, though I may have mentioned that once or twice already....

Thought for the day: "Faith is my Shield."

>>415480415480 Oh I don't demand shipping (in fact it doesn't need it) but I couldn't help make the Slannesh refrence.  

>>418164418164

I have a habit of responding to a lot of comments, don't I?  Of course, I don't have a huge amount of readers (wink wink nudge nudge cough cough), so I can actually take the time to respond to those who post comments (not to sound like I'm greedy for readers.  I mean this sentence in the most non-whiny way possible).

You seriously played 1st and 2nd Editions?  Whoa.  I didn't even start until 5th.  I guess I'll have to make extra sure I follow the fluff.

And just to clarify, the Valin's Revenge is a Strike Cruiser, not a Battle-Barge.  As for your concern, the entire premise of this story is that ponies meet 40k races/characters, so everyone can safely assume that both the Tyranids and Ultramarines will arrive in Equestria.  If they all died in the warp storm, it wouldn't make much of story.  For the third time, thanks for your praise.  Glad to know a true 40k veteran likes my work.

>>419929419929

At the risk of sounding like a ridiculous combo of nerdiness and romanticness (are those even the right words for this?), the only shipping (if it can even be called that) that would serve Slaanesh is *shudder* clopfics.  I have no intention of aiding the Ruinous Powers here.  If any shipping appears, it will be, well, clean, and like I said earlier, "a sprig of parsley on top of an omelet."

And a general question: after Chapter 4 goes up, I was considering submitting the story to Equestria Daily.  There are disappointingly few 40k fics there.  What do you guys think?

Thought for the day: "Faith is purest when it is unquestioning."

I say submit it to EQD and see what they think

>>420250420250

I have an idea for ya... up to you if you like it... but...

http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/0972d3054e0cd359ef5131b3ac6c9891/64778%20-%20artist%3ASanity-X%20comic%20crossover%20ponyhammer%20space_marine%20war%20warhammer_40k.jpg

yes I am a sick, sick woof to have found this for ya!

thought of the day~  He who lives for nothing is nothing. He who dies for the Emperor is a hero.

>>420884420884

I must admit, that comic made me laugh.  I loved Space Marine, even though it felt like "Baby's First 40k Game" (which it kinda was).  I applaud you for being a loyal reader and a true 40k veteran, but what is the idea you're suggesting?  Are you suggesting that I use the comic for my story's picture if I submit to EQD? (as I remember, they have some rule about all story pictures needing to have ponies, and as awesome as Captain Sicarius is, I don't think my current picture would make it through).  I love the comic, but what I'd like to avoid in my story (and in any crossover really) is to essentially just write 40k with ponies copy-pasted in.  In my thought processor, the point of a crossover is to throw two different universes into the same room and see what happens.  Essentially, I don't want to see ponies in Terminator armour.  The great thing about crossing over 40k and ponies is that they are so drastically different.  Emphasizing that difference between them is my favorite part of writing this story.

Wow, I go off on more tangents than a malfunctioning graphing calculator.

Getting back to my original thought, what do my readers think of submitting to EQD?  It would certainly get me more readers, but the readers there tend to be more... diehard, if that term can be used here.  What do you think?

Thought for the day: "Even the man who has nothing can still offer his life."

Oh my goodness, just read chapter three....so freaken awesome! Submit it to EQD. If they can't see how great this story is than they are a bunch of morons!

Kind of curious, will genestealers be able to affect ponies?

Now this is some quality work. I'm curious, though: does this mean that they reach Equestria through some freak accident while traveling through the warp and end up in an entirely different dimension? Because the whole concept of an untouched world in the middle of the spheres of influence of 40K seems highly unlikely.

Open the door, get on the floor,

Everybody look, it's Chapter Four!

Yes, I'm terrible.

Sorry about the huge wait.  This chapter just went on forever.  I honesty did not intend for it to be this huge.  But oh well, more for you guys to read.

Anyway, this should be the chapter that you've all been waiting for.  Ponies meet 40k.  Enjoy.

Also, I will be submitting this to Equestria Daily, so brace yourselves.  New readers will most likely be coming.

Thought for the day: "A small mind is easily filled with faith."

Now that's a chapter!!!

I like the way that the ponies are now under the protection of the UltraMarines!

OK, their safety is 'in the hands of', but tell me that isn't killer!

I enjoyed this greatly! Thank you!

Nice chapter. You mis-spelled "Macragge" as "Maccrage" or something of the likes, by the way.

Also nice to see you snuck in a Lyra joke in there, too.

Huge is no matter, Battle-Brother Sobriquet. Anyone who has read a 40K novel shouldn't have any problems with length.

holy fuck

this fic is sexual

tracked as fuck

you're fucking great at writing stuff

Oh joyous day, where to start on this wonderfully huge chapter that you've laid before us?  First loved the lictor scene absolutely nailed down the predator vibe that they exude, also liked the homage to Jurassic park that you threw in there as well. Im looking forward to future the battles across equestria especially when the nids start producing the more deadly biomorphs of the brood.

All in all, another excellent chapter in fine saga of yours Verbose. Feel free to take your time with your chapters if they all turn out this long, because i read way too fast for my own good.

OH my god, I can't wait for the next chapter!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

A NEW CHAPTER HAS ARRIVED!

praise the emporer for this blessing.....an you too i guess

PURGE THE XENO SCUM!

I have no words as to how awesomely good this is

You sir are an amazing writer

Oh my

How wondrous!

All we need is that Necron acrchiver Zandrekh or something and this story'll be forever awesome.

"Do you like muffins?" OMG the ultramarines will never be the same.

So now that season 2 is over I have a question.

Will you possibly include Twilight's brother Shining Armor in this story? You know cause he's the Captain of the Royal Guard

So it would make sense cause of the Tyranid threat and all that

Wow, guys.  Thanks for all your love.  My emotional subroutines tell me that I should be feeling proud.  I'll take some time to respond to individual comments here.

>>482112482112

Bollocks!  Thank you for pointing this out.  This will be rectified.

>>482149482149

Glad to hear it.  As many will have probably noticed, I enjoy making references.  I try not to make them forced or blatant ("the cake is a lie" etc.)  There are more in there than you think.  Read closely, you'll find them.

>>482661482661

Necrons?  Don't you mean Tomb Kings in SPAAAAAAAACCCEEEE!!?

>>484438484438

I quite literally posted the new chapter, complete with a few OC guard ponies, and then watched the season finale.  Bollocks.  In the beginning of Part 1 of the season finale, Rarity refers to Shining Armour as "a" captain of the Royal Guard, not "the" captain.  So I'm guessing that he's just a captain stationed in Canterlot.  So my OC pony guard commanders are not glaring plot contradictions.  Phew.  In response to your question, I have not really planned that far in advance, but I now intend to include him.

>>486056486056

As I pointed out earlier, these are Ultramarines, not Black Templars.  It wouldn't make much of a story if the Space Marines just killed everypony.  Also, not every Ultramarine is going to like becoming friends with the ponies.

Also, as a general comment to all readers, I made a slight change to the title, so more readers will recognize it as a 40k story.

Furthermore, I have included Ditzy/Derpy in this story.  To avoid sparking a flame war, I'm going to say that her name is Ditzy Doo, and Derpy Hooves is a nickname given to her by other ponies.  Hopefully this will keep both sides happy.

Finally, the next chapter will be slower than usual, since I'm going to be out of town for about five days, plus I have AP tests coming up.  Sorry in advance.

Thought for the day: "Heresy grows from idleness."

>>487160487160 Was there ever really much division over Ditzy/Derpy's name? As far as I'm concerned, I'm fine with either because I know who the respective character is anyway.

>>487160487160

Thats good

And I was also thinking are you maybe going to include some other species like the Griffins, Dragons and most recently the Changelings?

While 113 bad ass Space Marines can kick some serious xeno ass I feel like they wont be able to beat the Tyranids on their own now that they landed and are consuming bio mass.

So Griffins and Dragons just might be able to do some damage against the Tyranids.

This is simply astounding, wonderful, EPIC.

The God Emperor himself would be proud of this, keep up the good work, it's beautiful!

I look forward to see how the ponies, griffins,dragons and such races behave in the upcoming "war"

>>323833323833 And that "one fic" would be...? It sounds interesting.

"“I did find your lack of faith disturbing, Captain.”"

oh you

Another fine chapter. You kept doing the things you're good at (action, description), and there weren't any glaring problems that I noticed. The constant shifting of perspective in the battle took some getting used to, but maybe that won't be necessary now that everyone has met. The princesses characterizations felt a little heavy-handed, and the mane 6 were a little light, but most everything else was great.

Carry on, in the Emperor's name.

And pay no attention to Ponysun. He mad.

typical ultra marine i say that captain is more reckless than a flesh tearer's death company consumed by the blackrage

>>482112482112

What's the deal with the whole Lyra thing?  I've read a few stories where they made a similar joke or reference to her.  How did that start?

>>522098522098 I don't know, really. I only found MLP one month ago, then FiMFiction a week after that. All I know is that the running joke with Lyra is that she's the only pony that knows about humans to varying degrees depending on fic.

>>522101522101

Cool.  Thanks for the reply.  Go forth in the Emperor's light.

>>522098522098>>522101522101

Good timing guys.  I just happened to be online right now.

The entire Lyra/hands joke started back in Season 1, in the episode "Dragonshy."  In the beginning of the episode, Lyra is in onscreen sitting on a park bench.  What's weird is that she is sitting as if she were human, while the pony sitting next to her is sitting like you'd expect a pony to.  This spawned the whole idea that Lyra is obsessed with the idea of hands.  Somewhere in Season 2, you can see her reaching for a drink with her hoof instead of magic, as if she actually had hands to grab it with.

In case of TL;DR, just use this:

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/sitting-lyra

Thought for the day: "It is better to die for the Emperor than to live for yourself."

>>522123522123 "A moment of idleness spawns a lifetime of heresy." - A daily thought from this humble Battle-Brother.

But it's interesting. I might just have to go watch that episode again because I certainly didn't catch it the first time around. Though I have seen a comic or two talking specifically about Lyra's sitting stance, so I think I know where it's coming from.

>>522123522123

Thank you for your help, brother Soubriquet.  I'll have to watch those episodes again than.  Thought for the day:  "Knowledge is power, guard it well."  Also, are the Ultramarines your favorite chapter?  They're my second favorite with my favorite being the Blood Ravens.

>>522138522138

Ultramarines are awesome, and they definitely deserve to be less bland in the next Space Marine Codex.  However, I would have to say that my favorite Chapter is actually the Iron Hands.  Unfortunately, they are widely regarded as probably the most merciless Chapter in the Imperium, so you can understand why I didn't write about them.

Thought for the day: "The flesh is weak!" (Iron Hands battle cry)

I tought the most merciless chapter are the Black Templars?

And for me my favorite chapter would be the Grey Knights these guys can use the faith in the Emperor as a weapon

How freakin awesome is that

Tought for the day: "I am the hammer, I am the right hand of the Emperor, the instrument of His will, the gauntlet about His fist, the tip of His spear, the edge of His sword." (Grey Knight battle cry)

>>522166522166

So when do you think you will be able to get the next few chapters out?  College is out for the summer and I am looking forward to some excellent 40k stories.

>>562772562772

I may have to take a break for a week or two because of AP testing.  But after that I should be able to get on a roll, particularly when summer starts.  Sorry about the long wait.

Thought for the day: "Serve the Emperor today.  Tomorrow you may be dead."

this needs a proof read there are tiny lil errors.

but the biggest one is the letter from luna. it barely made sense.

good tho

>>564409564409

It's no problem, thanks for the quick response.  Oh and I wasn't sure when I first read it, but do the ultramarines' ships have payloads like cycloni torpedoes and such.  I think it would be interesting to see how the equestrians would react if the only way to stop the tyranids in one area was an orbital bombardment.  Just wondering though.  I'm considering writing one, so I'm tyring to get my 40k lore straight.

the names ring bells. are these from the movie ultramarine?

“What kind of creature just wants to consume everything it meets?” Fluttershy asked fearfully

parasprites

>>522130522130 there was alot of misspelling throughout the chapters. but at this point i cease to care too much. its an easy fix and i'm sure it'll be done eventually.

Well, quite intriguing over all. There are some spelling mistakes here are there but given the subject matter and the overall length, it's perfectly acceptable.

The Ultramarines were a good touch. Admittedly I'm more of a Tau fan simply by dint of the fact they aren't a dessicated empire trying to regain their glory days.

That said, you do characterize the Marines amazingly well and I can't wait to see more.

Tau Quote: The first rule of unarmed combat is: don’t be unarmed.

>>601165601165

Thanks for the favorite.  I will review my writing and correct any spelling mistakes soon.

Yes, I know Ultramarines are not the most unique chapter, but I love them nonetheless.  Besides, they are the only chapter I know of that could reasonably help the ponies.

Another Tau player?  Huzzah!  I'm not alone in this grim, dark, melee-combat-obsessed universe!  Not kidding, Tau are the other race that I play.  Gotta love battlesuits.

"The strength of your force may be calculated by multiplying its weight by its velocity.  Strive always to maximize both and victory shall be yours."

-Commander Puretide

I love this!

I wish thought, minions of chaos were also here :l

You should write a fic about khorne marines going to equestria :D

Khorne berserkers in Equestria chapter 1: They killed everything for the blood god, the end!

Chapter 5 going up

This chapter took forever to finish because of an unholy combination of AP testing, five final projects, the movie Avengers, and Mass Effect 3 multiplayer.

As usual, tell me what you think.  Maybe if I get enough views/likes/favorites I will make it to the featured box.

Thought for the day: "Heresy grows from idleness."

Excellent, i do so love a nice long read in the early morning after i've finished some adventuring on skyrim. Oh and what can i say about this wonderful chapter, that you've given us. The timber wolf scene gave me a few chuckles and i especially enjoyed the hive guard dual with maxilos. Coincidently, the hive guard is one of my favorite beasties in the tyranid codex.  I'm looking forward to the ramifications of confrontation between rainbow dash and Marcellus, especially for dash since she left quite a bit of untold story.

All in all, another great piece of work thats leaving me wanting more and it slowly killing me inside because i know that it will be a close to a month or so before i can get another taste. I praise and curse you at the same time sir.

Imperial quote of the day: "Only in war are we truly faithful."

I'm glad you're making the marines more "human" in personality. Nothing kills it more when someone writes about space marines and has them acting like robots.

*Cackles* Oh god this is priceless!

I can't wait for the next chapter! Write more, NOW!

Cheers

GM

Oh, Rainbow... Always trying to get yourself killed...

Keep up the good work with this story. You're spinning an excellent tale that manages to blend a dash of humor with the serious overtones of the situation.

Thought for the day: Knowledge is power. Guard it well.

pip and lyra made this chapter

>>658386658386 AP testing I know that feeling had a Biology AP test about 2 weeks ago.

Wonderful chapter I love how you fit in some small humor Warhammer 40k fans would laugh at. I wish there was a few Imperial Guards since it would probably be less intimidating for the ponies if the aliens weren't all 8ft genetically engineered super warriors in armor. Imperial guards at least could enjoy Pinkie Pie's food. Anyway great chapter keep up the great work  

awsome, RD you got what you deserve, dont doubt a space marine.

Ooohh very good.

*crosses fingers and prays for Harlequins/Ork Freebootaz/Trazyn the Infinite*

This is simply glorious battle-brother Sobriquet.  What I liked best is that unlike some other stories you actually realistically portrayed how the space marines would act.  Keep up the good work.  FOR THE EMPEROR!

cant wait for the convisation when they explain the god emporer (and the thousands of daily psycher sacrifices) to celestia, thats always my favourite part of a warhammer crossover

So AWESOME!

I have to say this is one of the situations where I'm glad it isn't the Grey Knights.

They would, without a doubt, kill ponies. :|

Very impressive. Yes, the Marines are also human, too, and you do a good job portraying them as such.